Are the Gestalts I model easy to mix and match later on?

ByLondon Speech and Feeding December 22, 2023December 4, 2023

Here are some examples of great phrases and Gestalts that we could use:

Let’s get a banana / Let’s go out / Let’s play lego / Let’s go see daddy
That’s nice! / That’s really good! / That’s a green one / That’s a submarine
Need more help / Need a wee wee / Need that / Need to run
How about a biscuit / How about a cuddle / How about watching tv
We love bananas / We love a monkey / We love a cuddle

Why or how could these examples be mixed and matched?

You can see I have given several examples for each, that is how later a child can take one chunk (let’s) and add another (go out) or (need) + (go out).

What about our own grammar? Should we be using grammatical phrases?

In general for NLA 1 (Natural Language Acquisition stage 1) we want to use short phrases and keep them quite generic, something like:

‘Let’s go’ or ‘let’s play’ and pick 2-3 phrases per communicative function (see next point below).

And if we are going to say longer sentences, for example: ‘let’s go and feed the ducks now’, then we should do so with good grammar and really varied intonation. It sometimes helps me to make up a little song/jingle on the spot that has a lot of intonation, more than I would perhaps use just by speaking.

How many varied communicative functions do we cover with our modelling?

We want to model a variety of Gestalts other than just requesting for example. In general, we are looking at our child having one or two Gestalts in the following areas before they are ready to move on into stage 2.

These are the most common ones I see in my practice:

Requesting ‘want a banana/biscuit’ ‘Wanna play ball’
Transitioning: ‘what now?’ ‘what next?’
Ask for help: ‘need help’ ‘help me’ ‘mummy help’
Commenting: ‘it’s big’ ‘it’s red’ ‘it’s fast’ ‘too loud’
Speak up for self: ‘not that one’ ‘go now’ ‘stop it’

Is the Gestalt I am modelling meaningful to my child?

We don’t use all available Gestalts for every child. It has to be meaningful to the individual and has to match their interests. If our child is a big fan of feeding the ducks in the park then we can think about Gestalts like:

I see ducks!
They’re over there
Let’s feed them?
Let’s get some seeds
They’re coming!
They want food / They wanna eat!
That’s a big one
It’s so hungry
It loves the seeds!
No more! All done! Finished! Let’s go home

What is my child actually trying to tell me?

We have to be become word/phrase detectives! Is the phrase/script/Gestalt they are using right now actually meaning what they said or does it mean something else, and if so, what?

Here is an example from my own personal experience in my practice:

The little boy I was working/playing with was building a tall tower with blocks. When it finally fell with a great big bang he said in a sing-song voice ‘ring-a-ring-a roses’ … then he began to collect the blocks again to make a fresh tower. I sat there and thought: why ‘ring-a-ring-a roses’? What does that mean in this context? I then sang the song (silently) to myself with my detective hat on and realised as I came to the end that it finishes with ‘we all fall down’! it was a real AHA!!! moment for me as I saw right there what the meaning of his Gestalt was. He sang the first line of the song to say ‘all fall down!’

So realising this I waited for the next tower to fall, and there it was again, he sang the first line of the song. I replied thus, copying him at first:

‘RING-A-RING-A ROSES – WE ALL FALL DOWN!…

FALL DOWN

WE LOVE IT FALLING DOWN.’

The process to find what we should say is not always straight forward or easy at all, and often we don’t quite know in the moment what our child is trying to say. But we can try and get to know their interests and then gradually we do know more and more what the meaning behind the Gestalt is or could be.

What pronouns should we use?

This can be a tricky one.

We don’t want to use language that uses the pronouns ‘you’ or ‘you’re’. The reason is that our child will likely copy us exactly as we have said it. Therefore, using pronouns ‘you’ and ‘you’re’ will then sound wrong.

Always try to model language that is from the child’s perspective or in other words how they would say it if they could.

Alternatively, you can model using WE or US. For example, if the child is tired, rather than saying ‘you are so tired’ model language from his or her point of view: ‘I’m tired’ or ‘let’s go have a lie down’.

There is so much more to talk about. Stay tuned for a blog on NLA stage 2 coming soon.

If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

Lisp · Speech and Language Therapy · Top tips

Living life with a lisp
ByLondon Speech and Feeding June 9, 2023June 27, 2025
You may be questioning ‘will my child grow out of having a lisp?’ There are so many myths out there that it’s sometimes difficult to find your way out of a complex maze of information.

The good news: lisps can be successfully treated by a Speech and Language Therapist and the earlier it’s resolved, the better. We know from the evidence base that some children’s lisps will resolve and, as always, it is completely age appropriate to have this speech pattern up until aged 4 ½.

As with any speech and language targets your child will need to be motivated to practise their newly acquired techniques, at home and in other settings. They will eventually be able to generalise this skill, but it takes lots of practice. So, think carefully about if your child is ready and motivated before commencing Speech and Language Therapy.

There are essentially two ways in which your child has acquired a lisp. It’s key here to mention that parents have no blame in this.
1. They’ve mis-learned it and now incorrect production has become a habit
2. Children have difficulties organising the sounds to make a clear production
You may be surprised to realise that there are different types of lisps. But all the techniques will be the same.
1. Interdental lisp
When your child pushes their tongue too far forward, they will make a /th/ sound instead of /s/ and /z/
1. Dental lisp
This is where your child’s tongue pushes against their teeth
1. Lateral lisp
Air comes over the top of the tongue and down the sides
1. Palatal lisp
Your palate is the roof of your child’s mouth. Sometimes they will touch their palate when making certain sounds (e.g., /s/ and /z/)

It’s useful for you to know what type of lisp your child has because you can then support them to make the correct production. You’ll be able to talk about where in the mouth their tongue is and where it needs to be to produce a clear sound. Your Speech and Language Therapist will be able to help you with this.

Top therapy tips for lisps
1. Awareness is key. Does your child know where their tongue and teeth are (i.e., are they behind their teeth)? Do they notice the air escaping? Use a mirror so that your child can see not only themselves but also you in the mirror.
2. Repetition! As with most therapeutic intervention, practice makes perfect. So little and often is key!
3. Make sessions fun, perhaps around your child’s interests or allow them to drink from a straw
4. Comment on how the sound is produced (e.g., /z/ is like a bee, /s/ is like a snake)
5. Use tactile cues. Your child’s vocal folds vibrate when they produce a sound like /z/ but not with /s/. You could use the words ‘loud’ and ‘quiet’ to describe this.
6. Start with a /t/ sound and gradually elongate the sound to an /s/
Having a lisp may not be problematic for some, but for other children, it can have a significant impact on their emotional wellbeing. Intervening at an early age can prevent this from happening. We always advocate for early intervention!

Contact Sonja for support on resolving your child’s lisp.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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Autism Therapy

Explore 12 questions to determine whether your child may be Autistic
ByLondon Speech and Feeding October 7, 2022February 10, 2023
May your child be autistic?

As professionals, when diagnosing young children with an Autistic Spectrum Condition, it is vital we work as a multi-disciplinary team, so you will likely see many professionals. This may include Educational Psychologist, Dietician, General Practitioner, Occupational Therapist, Paediatrician, Special Educational Needs Coordinator, Speech and Language Therapist and Social worker. Once the evidence is collated, then a diagnosis may be made.

You may be wondering what are some of the early signs of social communication difficulties? Whilst no autistic child is the same and we know Autism is very much a very wide spectrum of abilities and needs there are some autistic spectrum characteristics we do typically see in the early years of childhood. You may wish to think about these areas or presentations to help you prepare for the Speech and Language Therapy appointment.

Twelve questions
1. Does your child respond to their name?
2. Are they fixated with watching their hands?
3. Do they have sensory processing difficulties such as bright lights, food textures, or loud noises?
4. Are they meeting their milestones or are they delayed?
5. Do they flap their arms or legs when excited?
6. Have you noticed any rocking back and forth?
7. Do they blink excessively or display any facial tics?
8. Do they play with a particular sort of toy e.g. spinning toys?
9. Have you noticed that they lack interest in toys?
10. Have they regressed in their language? Perhaps you’ve noticed they are not using words that they have previously learnt.
11. Do they use gestures to communicate their needs? How do they communicate their wants and needs?
12. Do they appear to be in their own world?
You are not alone

These questions are by no means exhaustive and there are many more factors to consider. But it is important to trust your instincts as you are the expert on your child and know your child the best. Regardless of whether you see all of the above points or none, do not hesitate to have an assessment if you are concerned as, even if it turns out to be nothing to worry about, there is always at least one or two great pieces of advice I can offer you on the way and you will leave feeling hopeful and empowered. It’s always best to seek early intervention with communication difficulties. This allows strategies and support to be put in place. Never feel alone, always speak out.

Find communication support here from me, Sonja, (Specialist Speech and Language Therapist)

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
READ MORE Explore 12 questions to determine whether your child may be Autistic
Autism Therapy · Neurodiversity · Speech and Language Therapy

When speech difficulties overlap: Helping children with phonological delay and childhood apraxia of speech
ByLondon Speech and Feeding March 18, 2026March 18, 2026
One of the questions parents often ask is:

‘What kind of speech difficulty does my child have?’

It’s a very understandable question. We often hear different terms such as phonological delay, articulation difficulties, or Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS), and it can be confusing.

The reality is that many children don’t fit neatly into one single category.

In fact, quite often I see children whose speech profile includes a mixture of difficulties. They might have some phonological patterns (where they substitute one sound for another) alongside challenges with motor speech planning, where coordinating the movements needed for speech is harder.

When this happens, therapy needs to be flexible, responsive, and tailored to the child sitting in front of us.

Example

Recently I filmed a short clip from one of my therapy sessions which shows exactly how this works in practice.

The child I was working with has difficulties with several speech sounds. Part of the challenge relates to a phonological pattern called fronting.

Fronting is when sounds that should be made further back in the mouth (like /K/ or /G/) are produced further forward instead.

At the same time, this child also shows signs of motor speech planning difficulty, which means the brain has to work harder to organise and sequence the movements of the tongue, lips and jaw for speech.

This type of profile can sometimes overlap with characteristics seen in Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS).

When difficulties overlap like this, therapy cannot rely on a single approach. Instead, it needs to draw on multiple evidence-based strategies.

That is exactly what you see happening in the clip. We started out generalising the /K/ sound which until recently had been replaced by a /T/ sound. Whilst looking at a sound loaded picture of /K/ sounds we somehow got talking about a ‘dent’ (I don’t recall how we got there!) but the ‘dent’ was a ‘det’ and I decided to tackle this there and then because there are other great words that end in ‘nt’ like : ‘count’ ‘giant’ ‘point’ or ‘paint’.

Using visual cues to support motor planning

Speech is incredibly complex. For children with motor speech difficulties, the challenge is not only knowing what sound they want to say, but also how to move their mouth to produce it.

This is where visual cues can be incredibly helpful.

In the clip, you can see me using a whiteboard with pictures and simple visual prompts. These help to:
- Focus attention on the target sound
- Understand where the sound occurs in the word
- Remember the sequence of sounds needed
Visual supports can act almost like a map for the mouth, guiding children as they practise new speech movements.

For children with motor planning difficulties, this type of cueing can make a huge difference.

Why repetition of a single word (massed practice) is so important

Another key feature you will notice in the clip is lots of repetition.

This is very deliberate.

When we are supporting children with motor speech challenges, the brain needs repeated opportunities to practise the correct movement patterns. Just like learning a musical instrument or a new sport, repetition helps the brain build stronger and more efficient pathways.

In therapy we call this massed practice.

Rather than saying a word only once or twice, we practise it many times in a structured way, helping the child stabilise the new speech pattern.

But repetition alone is not enough. The child also needs to understand why the sound matters.

Showing children that sounds change meaning

This is where another powerful therapy approach comes in: minimal pairs.

Minimal pairs are word pairs that differ by only one sound. For example:
- debt
- dent
In the clip, I use these two words to help the child realise that the /N/ sound makes a meaningful difference.

Without the /N/, the word becomes something else entirely.

This approach helps children recognise that speech sounds are not random: they carry meaning. If a sound is missing or substituted, the message may change.

Helping children notice these differences can be a very motivating moment in therapy. Suddenly the sound is no longer just an abstract exercise; it becomes part of real communication.

Blending approaches for the best outcomes

In this short therapy moment, I am combining:

• Visual cueing

• Motor speech practice

• High repetition (massed practice)

• Minimal pair contrasts

• Listening and awareness of sound differences

Each element supports a different part of the speech system.

Some strategies help with motor planning, others support phonological awareness, and others build accuracy and consistency.

Together they create a therapy session that is both structured and responsive.

Every child’s speech journey is unique

One of the most important things I want to convey is that speech development is not always straightforward.

Two children may both struggle with speech sounds, yet the underlying reasons may be very different.

This is why careful assessment is essential, and why therapy needs to stay flexible as we learn more about how a child’s speech system works.

Sometimes a child needs more motor-based work.

Sometimes the focus shifts towards phonological contrasts.

Often, as in this example, the most effective therapy uses both.

Small steps lead to big progress

Every session helps us understand a little more about how a child’s speech system works and what support will help them move forward.

And when the pieces start to come together, when a child realises that one tiny sound can change a whole word, that is when the real progress begins.

If you are concerned about your child’s speech sounds, clarity of speech, or possible motor speech difficulties, early support can make a significant difference. A detailed assessment can help identify the nature of the difficulty and guide a therapy approach tailored to your child’s individual needs.

Feel free to contact me on www.londonspeechandfeeding.co.uk

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

Reference

McNeill, B. C., Gillon, G. T., & Dodd, B. (2009). Effectiveness of an integrated phonological awareness approach for children with childhood apraxia of speech (CAS). Child Language Teaching and Therapy, 25(3), 341-366.

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Feeding · Speech and Language Therapy

The great air debate: How different swallowing patterns impact breastfeeding and reflux
ByLondon Speech and Feeding November 5, 2025November 6, 2025
The great air debate

As a Speech and Language Therapist specialising in infant feeding, I often hear from worried mums describing their breastfed baby’s fussiness. ‘My baby is so burpy and gassy,’ ‘might it be reflux?’ or ‘she just seems uncomfortable after every feed’. While these concerns are incredibly valid and distressing for both baby and mum (and dads!), the underlying cause isn’t always what you might think. Often, the culprit isn’t primarily a digestive issue, but rather a mechanical one: how effectively your baby is managing air during feeding.

Many parents are told their baby has ‘colic’ or ‘reflux’ and are offered solutions that don’t quite hit the mark because they overlook a fundamental aspect of feeding: the suck-swallow-breathe sequence. Understanding this intricate dance can be the key to unlocking a calmer, happier feeding experience for your baby and you.

Understanding the suck-swallow-breathe sequence

Your baby’s mouth, tongue, jaw, and throat muscles work together in a precise rhythm like a beautifully orchestrated symphony. First your baby draws milk, then swallows it, and then takes a breath, all without interruption. This is the ideal suck-swallow-breathe (SSB) sequence.

When the SSB sequence functions optimally, a baby latches deeply, creates good suction, draws milk, swallows efficiently, and then pauses just long enough to take a gentle breath before the next suck. This smooth, coordinated process minimises the amount of air swallowed.

However, for various reasons (it could be a shallow latch, oral motor challenges, an uncoordinated suck, or even an overly fast milk flow) this sequence can get a bit out of sync. Instead of a smooth rhythm, you might see:
- Suck-suck-swallow-gasp!: Too much air pulled in with the swallow.
- Rapid, shallow sucking followed by gulping: Inefficient milk transfer and air intake.
- Clicking noises during feeding: Loss of suction, indicating air entry.
- Frequent detaching and re-latching: Often to ‘catch a breath’ or because of discomfort.
Each of these patterns can lead to increased air intake.

The root cause: Air trapping leading to a gassy breastfed baby

When a baby swallows too much air during a feed, that air must go somewhere. It builds up in the stomach, causing bloating, discomfort, and often leads to the familiar reflux-like symptoms parents describe: arching, spitting up, burping excessively, or simply appearing distressed.

It’s a common misconception that all gassiness or reflux symptoms in a breastfed baby are due to something in the mother’s diet or a genuine digestive disorder. While these can be factors, as an SLT, we first look at the mechanics of the feed. If a baby is constantly struggling to maintain a seal, sucking inefficiently, or having to gulp to keep up with flow, he or she is inevitably swallowing air. This air then creates pressure, which can push milk back up (silent reflux) or out (visible reflux).

Think of it like trying to drink through a straw with a hole in it. You’re sucking, but you’re also pulling in air, making it harder to get the liquid and leaving you with more bubbles in your stomach.

Why mechanical speech therapy assessment is key

This is where the distinction between a medical diagnosis (true gastro oesophageal reflux disease or GORD) and a functional feeding challenge becomes critical. A paediatrician will assess for medical causes and may prescribe medication to reduce stomach acid. This can be appropriate for severe cases of GORD.

However, if the primary issue is air being trapped due to a suboptimal suck-swallow pattern, medication only treats the symptom (acid burning) and not the root cause (air intake). This is precisely where a Speech and Language Therapist specialising in infant feeding comes in.

My role is to meticulously observe and assess your baby’s oral motor skills, latch, tongue function, and the efficiency of their SSB sequence. I look for subtle signs of inefficiency that contribute to excessive air swallowing.
- Is the tongue elevating correctly to create suction?
- Is the jaw stable, or is it excessively moving?
- Is the latch deep enough to prevent air leaks?
- Can the baby coordinate suck, swallow, and breathe without gasping?
By identifying these mechanical challenges, I can then implement targeted strategies to improve feeding efficiency and reduce air intake, often leading to a significant reduction in reflux-like symptoms and overall discomfort.

Strategies to optimise air management during breastfeeding

The good news is that many babies can learn to feed more efficiently with the right support. Here are some general strategies we might explore:
1. Optimise latch and position: A deep, asymmetric latch is crucial. Experiment with different positions that allow for a deeper latch and better head/neck alignment, such as laid-back feeding or upright positions.
2. Paced feeding (even at the breast): If your milk flow is very fast, consider removing your baby from the breast briefly if you hear excessive gulping or see him or her struggling to breathe. This allows him or her to catch up and manage the flow.
3. Support the jaw and cheeks: Sometimes, gentle support to the baby’s jaw or cheeks can help them maintain a more stable, efficient suck. I can demonstrate specific techniques for this.
4. Burping effectively: While burping won’t get rid of all swallowed air, upright burping positions and gentle back rubs can help release some of it.
5. Pre-feed oral preparation: Gentle oral massage or stretches before a feed can sometimes ‘wake up’ the oral muscles and improve coordination.
Addressing the ‘Great Air Debate’ isn’t about blaming anyone; it’s about empowering parents with a deeper understanding of their baby’s feeding mechanics. By focusing on the how, not just the what, we can often resolve persistent feeding challenges, reduce discomfort, and make breastfeeding a more joyful, peaceful experience for both you and your little one.

If you suspect your baby’s gassiness or reflux symptoms are related to how they are managing air during feeds, don’t hesitate to reach out for a specialist assessment.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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Games · Speech and Language Therapy · Top tips

Ten games to support communication in primary school aged children
ByLondon Speech and Feeding August 16, 2023August 4, 2023
When parents visit me with their child, their stress is palpable. Often parents don’t relish or even expect to be asked to practise strategies at home with their child between sessions. Let alone to practise whilst on holiday. I understand that you don’t necessarily want anything extra added to your daily ‘to do’ lists. This is why we try our best to incorporate all speech and language therapy practice into children’s daily activities.

For example:
1. during bath time;
2. mealtimes;
3. getting ready for bedtime;
4. story time
5. yes, playtime!
These are activities that all parents will engage with anyway, so it seems to make sense to incorporate both. This is to avoid adding extra pressure on parents’ already stressful and time-poor daily lives. I am hoping my blog will come in handy, especially for the summer holidays.

On holiday you are unlikely to have your usual games and toys with you – so here is a nice little list of things you can use instead of traditional games and toys:

If you can think of any other alternatives on holiday and would like to tell me about them, I would love to see your comments below. We can never have too many holiday games!!

If you are at home over the summer and you do have some games in the cupboard you might want to dust these ones down or buy one or two new ones (if you want to).

Most games have multiple uses, and it’s always best to adapt a game to match your child’s interests and what motivates them.

So let’s start…
1. Pop up pirate: pop a sword into the barrel and watch the pirate pop up randomly. Practise social skills, speech sounds, expressive language (e.g., put a sword on a picture, say the word/sentence then pick up the sword and push it into the barrel).
2. Word games such as ‘ISpy’, ‘I went to the shop and I bought…’, ‘describe a person and guess who they are’: perfect for when you’re on the move, whether travelling or walking. You can play this anywhere and still support speech, language and communication. You could play ISpy using your child’s special sound, or ‘I went to the shop and bought all things beginning with [insert special sound here]’.
3. Shopping list: Orchard game is a game to practise categorising. We explain the analogy of the brain being like a filing cabinet. If information is all in the correct place, it’s easier to find, retrieve and use. You can also practise specific speech sounds in this activity. You could also put the words in a sentence to add more of an expressive language element.
4. Wiggly worms: this Orchard game is all about phonological (awareness of sounds) awareness. Matching a letter with the word. You can also practise the sounds in the words (e.g, g-o-l-d = gold; m-a-ke = make). Talk about the elements, e.g., ‘g-o-l-d’ has 4 sounds, 1 syllable; ‘m-a-ke has 3 sounds, one syllable. You can talk about what words rhyme with the different words and what makes a rhyming word (i.e., the middle and end sounds remain the same).
5. Sound detectives: this Orchard game allows children to identify sounds. It also has an app (if your child prefers a tech-way of learning). Children identify the sound then they can add the picture card to their path and become closer to being a successful detective. This game can also support memory skills.
6. Conversation cubes: throw the dice and start building a story. You can also create and use ‘colourful semantics’ sentence strips to support expressive (spoken) language as support to build the narrative.
7. Think words: ‘name it, press it, pass it’. A great game to expand word knowledge. You can talk about the words at the end of each round exploring semantic (meanings) and phonemic (sounds) links. Your child can also develop social skills (such as attention, listening and turn-taking).
8. Poo bingo: this is perfectly disgusting but equally fun for kids of about 3.5 years plus – if your child’s target is to practise /p/ sound this is the one for you. You can also learn all about the different animal’s poo, which I am sure you have always wanted to do!! The more we know about a word, the easier it is to store, retrieve and use. Yes, even talking about poo can help!! Also, it’s great for our visual learners.
9. Simon says: a game that can be played indoors or outdoors. Parents can take turns being “Simon” and give various commands that your child must follow. This means that your child can practise their receptive (understanding of) language as well as their expressive language, speech sounds and social skills (such as turn-taking and initiating).
10. Ker-plunk: this is perfect for practising your child’s special sound. Repetition is very important, but also can be monotonous, so finding a game that they enjoy is vital. Take turns to pull out a stick. Next, your child can either say their special sound or word (depending on what stage they are at) or hear a good model from other players.
Do you still have questions? Contact Sonja for support.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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Autism Therapy · Neurodiversity · Speech and Language Therapy · Top tips

The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays
ByLondon Speech and Feeding June 9, 2025June 9, 2025
Supplied by Sonja McGeachie, Practice Owner

As parents and caregivers, our natural instinct when interacting with a child, especially one who struggles with communication, is often to fill every silence. We might ask lots of questions, offer constant commentary, or try to prompt him or her to speak. Our hearts are in the right place. We want to help him or her communicate! However, for children with language delays or those on the autism spectrum, this well-intentioned approach can sometimes inadvertently create more pressure and fewer opportunities for them to truly initiate and develop their own communication skills.

What if I told you that one of the most powerful tools in your communication toolkit is often silence? And that responding to your child, rather than always initiating, can unlock incredible potential?

Let’s explore why these seemingly simple strategies are so profoundly beneficial.

The unspoken benefits of silence

In our fast-paced world, silence can feel awkward, but for a child who is processing language differently, it’s a gift:
1. Time to process: Children with language delays often need more time to process what they hear and to formulate their own thoughts or responses. When we bombard them with words, we don’t give their brains the crucial milliseconds they need to catch up. A pause of 5–10 seconds can make all the difference.
2. Reduces pressure: Constant questioning or prompting can feel like a test. Silence removes this pressure, creating a more relaxed environment where the child feels safe to communicate without fear of being ‘wrong’ or rushed.
3. Creates opportunity to initiate: If you’re always talking, when does your child get a turn to start the conversation? Silence opens up a space for him or her to initiate, whether it’s through a sound, a gesture, eye contact, or a word. This is vital for developing spontaneous communication.
4. Encourages independent thinking: When a child is given space, he or she is more likely to try to figure things out himself or herself. This fosters problem-solving skills and reduces reliance on adult prompts.
5. Prevents overwhelm (especially for ASD): Many children on the autism spectrum can be sensitive to auditory input. A constant stream of language can be overwhelming, leading to withdrawal or challenging behaviours. Strategic pauses can help them regulate and engage more effectively.
The power of responding (not just initiating)

Think of a tennis match: if only one person serves, it’s not a game. Communication is a rally, a back-and-forth exchange. When you primarily respond to your child’s communication attempts, you’re teaching him or her the rhythm of conversation:
1. Follow the child’s lead: This is a cornerstone of effective language intervention, famously championed by programs like Hanen’s ‘It Takes Two to Talk’. When you respond to what your child is already interested in or doing, the interaction becomes immediately relevant and motivating for him or her.
2. Validates his or her attempts: Every sound, gesture, glance, or partial word your child offers is a communication attempt. By responding to it, you’re telling him or her, ‘I see you. I hear you. Your communication matters.’ This builds immense confidence and encourages him or her to try again.
3. Builds confidence and motivation: When a child feels understood and successful in his or her communication, he or she are more likely to communicate more often. It’s a positive feedback loop.
4. Teaches turn-taking naturally: By taking your turn after his or hers, you model the natural flow of conversation. He or she learns that communication is a shared activity, not a one-sided lecture.
5. Makes interactions meaningful: When you respond to his or her interests, you’re talking about things that are inherently motivating to him or her. This makes the language you use more easily understood and remembered.
Practical strategies for parents: Observe, Wait, Listen (OWL)

The Hanen Centre’s ‘Observe, Wait, Listen’ (OWL) strategy perfectly encapsulates these principles:
- Observe: Watch your child closely. What is he or she looking at? What is he or she doing? What sounds is he or she making? What gestures is he or she using?
- Wait: After you’ve observed, wait. Give him or her time. Resist the urge to jump in with a question or comment immediately. Count to five (or even ten) in your head. This silence is an invitation for him or her to communicate.
- Listen: When he or she does communicate (in any way!), listen intently. Try to understand his or her message or intent.
Beyond OWL – More tips:
- Reduce questions, increase comments: Instead of ‘What’s that?’ try ‘Oh, a big red ball!’ or ‘The car is going fast!’ Comments provide language models without demanding a verbal response.
- Expand, don’t just prompt: If your child says ‘Car’, you could respond with ‘Yes, That’s a big car!’ or ‘It’s really fast!’ You’re building on his or her communication with a slightly richer language model.
- Create opportunities for communication: Place desired items slightly out of reach. This creates a natural reason for your child to communicate his or her wants (e.g., reaching, pointing, vocalising).
- Respond to all communication: Don’t just wait for words. If your child points, look where he or she is pointing and comment. If he or she makes a sound, imitate it or respond with a related word.
In summary

Embracing silence and prioritising responsiveness might feel counterintuitive at first, especially when you’re eager for your child to talk. However, these powerful strategies create a nurturing, low-pressure environment that encourages spontaneous communication, builds confidence, and truly meets your child where he or she is. By giving your child the space and the meaningful responses he or she needs, you’re laying a strong foundation for his or her communication journey.

Try incorporating these ‘quiet powers’ into your daily interactions and watch your child’s communication blossom.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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READ MORE The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays