From ‘Nailed it!’ in therapy to ‘Whoops!’ at home: Why generalising speech sounds is tricky

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As a parent, you’ve likely experienced the triumphant feeling when your child, who’s been working so hard on his or her /S/ sound, produces it perfectly in a therapy session. He or she is rocking those ‘sun’ and ‘socks’ words, his or her lisp seemingly a distant memory. You leave feeling elated, confident that all that hard work is finally paying off.

Then you get home. And within minutes, you hear it: ‘Thooper!’ instead of ‘Super!’ Or maybe the clear /R/ in ‘rabbit’ from therapy reverts to a ‘wabbit’ when his or she is playing with his or her toys. It’s frustrating, confusing, and can feel like you’re back to square one.

So, what’s going on? Why is it so difficult for children to take those amazing skills learned in a focused therapy session and seamlessly apply them to their everyday conversations? You’re not alone in wondering this. It’s a common challenge in speech therapy and understanding the ‘why’ can help both parents and children navigate this crucial stage.

The brain’s habits: Old pathways are strong pathways

Think of your child’s brain as having established ‘pathways’ for how he or she produces certain sounds. If he or she has been lisping his or her /S/ sound for years, that neural pathway is deeply ingrained. It’s like a well-worn path through a field: easy to follow because it’s always been there.

In therapy, we’re essentially trying to forge a new path. We’re teaching him or her a new, more accurate way to make the sound. This new path is initially faint, like a barely visible trail. It takes conscious effort and repeated practice to strengthen it. Outside of the structured therapy environment, his or her brain often defaults to the old, comfortable, and well-established pathway, even if it’s not the most accurate.

The demands of daily conversation: A multitasking challenge

Therapy sessions are designed to be focused and controlled. We isolate sounds, practice them in specific words, and provide immediate feedback. There are minimal distractions, and your child’s full attention is on his or her speech production.

Now, consider daily conversation:

  • Speed: We speak much faster in natural conversation than we do during structured practice. There is less time to think about individual sounds.
  • Cognitive load: Children are simultaneously thinking about what they want to say, understanding what others are saying, processing social cues, and managing their emotions. Adding the conscious effort of producing a new speech sound correctly on top of all that is a huge cognitive demand.
  • Variety of contexts: In therapy, we might practise ‘sun’ and ‘socks’. In real life, the /S/ sound appears in countless words, in different positions within words, and alongside a vast array of other sounds. Each new word and phonetic context present a fresh challenge.
  • Lack of immediate feedback: In therapy, the speech therapist is right there to provide instant correction and reinforcement. In a playground, during a family dinner, or while playing with friends, that immediate, consistent feedback isn’t present.

The role of automaticity: Making it second nature

The ultimate goal of speech therapy isn’t just correct sound production; it’s automaticity. This means producing the sound correctly without having to consciously think about it. It’s like learning to ride a bike. Initially, every pedal stroke and steering adjustment is deliberate. Eventually, it becomes second nature.

Generalisation is the process of moving from conscious, controlled production to unconscious, automatic production. This takes time, consistent practice, and exposure to a wide variety of real-life speaking situations.

How can we help? Bridging the gap

So, what can parents do to help their children bridge this gap between therapy success and everyday speech?

  1. Be patient and positive: This is a marathon, not a sprint. Celebrate the small victories and avoid getting discouraged by setbacks. Your positive reinforcement is crucial.
  2. Practise little and often: Instead of long, infrequent practice sessions, aim for short, consistent bursts throughout the day. ‘Sprinkle’ in opportunities to practise their target sounds in natural conversations.
  3. Create ‘sound awareness’ moments: Gently draw your child’s attention to his or her target sounds in everyday words. For example, if he or she is working on /R/, you might say, ‘Oh, you said ‘wabbit.’ Can you try to make your /RRR/ sound for ‘rabbit’?’
  4. Model correct production: Continue to model the correct production of their target sounds in your own speech.
  5. Collaborate with your speech therapist: Your therapist is your best resource! Ask them for specific strategies and activities you can do at home to support generalisation. They can also provide guidance on when and how to gently correct your child.

Tips and tricks

Below I have listed a few good tips and tricks that can help the transition from therapy room to daily life:

Empowering your child as the ‘sound detective’:

  • ‘Secret sound listener’: Instead of you doing the correcting, make your child the detective. When you’re having a conversation, say ‘your /S/ sounds are sometimes a bit “slippery”’ (or whatever fun, non-judgmental term you like). Ask your child to quietly listen for your /S/ sounds. You can even purposely make a few ‘slippery’ ones (or correct yourself immediately after) and see if they notice. This shifts the focus from being corrected to actively listening and identifying the sound in a non-threatening way.
  • ‘Sound scorecard’: For a short period (maybe 10–15 minutes during a specific activity, like dinner or a game), provide a small notepad and pencil. Explain that your child is going to listen for his or her /S/ sounds and gently mark a tally every time he or she uses it correctly. The goal isn’t perfection, but awareness. This gives your child agency and a visual representation of progress. You can even make it a game: ‘Let’s see how many /S/ sounds we can catch in five minutes!’
  • /S/ sound song/rhyme creation: Work together to create silly songs or rhymes that are packed with /S/ sounds. The sillier, the better! You can sing them in the car, while doing chores, etc.
  • /S/ sound superpower: Frame the new sound skill as a ‘superpower’. ‘You’re getting so good at using your /S/ superpower! It’s going to help you speak so clearly and confidently.’
  • Highlighting successes: Always go out of your way to acknowledge and praise successful /S/ productions in natural conversation. ‘I really understood you clearly when you said ”s_top”.’ or ‘That /S/ sound was perfect when you told me about the “s_tory”!’

Important considerations:

  • Keep it low-pressure: The goal is generalisation, not perfection. If your child is feeling pressured, he or she will likely revert to old patterns.
  • Focus on awareness, not just correction: Help your child become aware of his or her own speech rather than relying on you for corrections.
  • Short, frequent bursts: A few minutes of subtle focus multiple times a day is more effective than one long, forced session.
  • Acknowledge feelings: If your child expresses frustration about ‘being corrected’, validate these feelings. ‘I understand it can feel like a lot of listening, but we’re just trying to help you use that super /S/ sound all the time!’

By incorporating these strategies, you can help your child naturally integrate the new /S/ sound into daily speech, fostering independence and confidence without it feeling like constant ‘testing’ or ‘correction’. Generalising new speech sounds is arguably the hardest part of speech therapy, but it’s also the most rewarding. With patience, consistent effort, and a collaborative approach between parents and therapists, children can successfully integrate their new, clearer speech sounds into every aspect of their daily lives.

Any comments or if you need help and support with your child’s speech please do not hesitate to get in touch with me: simply fill out the contact form here on the website. I endeavour to reply within 48 hours.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


Health Professions Council registered
Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
Member of ASLTIP

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Seeing sounds: How visual gestures boost speech sound learning

    Learning to produce new speech sounds can be a complex process for young children, especially those facing challenges with speech sound disorders or motor planning difficulties. It’s not just about knowing what a sound ‘should’ sound like; it’s about figuring out where to put your tongue, how to shape your lips, and how much air to push out. This is where the power of visual gestures comes in – literally helping children see how to make sounds.

    As speech and language therapists, we frequently use visual cues and hand gestures to teach articulation. These techniques are incredibly effective, particularly when a child is struggling with the motor planning aspect of speech production.

    In the video clip above you see me teaching

    • the /SH/ sound: the hand makes a C-shape and moves forward showing both how the lips are positioned and the air flowing forward
    • the /S/ sound: the index finger shows a snake like movement going forward- also showing the air flow again
    • the /W/ sound: my right hand moves forward and fingers splay out showing that the lips open up at the end of the sound
    • the /K/ sound: my finger points to the back of my throat where the tongue needs to raise.

    An overview of motor planning for speech – what do we mean by that?

    Think about learning to ride a bike or play a musical instrument. You don’t just know how to do it instantly. You have to plan the movements, practise them, and make adjustments. Speaking is similar! Our brains must:

    1. Plan the sequence of movements needed for each sound and word (e.g., /B/ requires lips together, then release, while /T/ requires the tongue tip behind the top teeth, then release).
    2. Execute those plans rapidly and precisely.

    For some children, especially those with conditions like Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS) or other severe articulation disorders, this motor planning process is disrupted. They know what they want to say, but their brain struggles to send the correct, consistent messages to their articulators (lips, tongue, jaw, velum). This can make speech sound learning incredibly frustrating.

    Why use visual gestures?

    Visual gestures provide an additional, powerful sensory input that can help bridge the gap between knowing a sound and producing it. Here’s how and why they are so beneficial:

    1.      Providing a visual map:

    • How it helps: Many speech sounds are ‘hidden’ inside the mouth. It’s hard for a child to see where their tongue needs to go for a /K/ sound (back of the tongue to the roof of the mouth) or a /T/ sound (tongue tip behind teeth). A simple hand gesture can visually represent this mouth movement. For example, a hand gesture for /K/ might involve sweeping the hand back towards the throat, while for /T/, it might be a tap on the chin.
    • Why it works: Children are highly visual learners. Seeing a physical representation of an abstract mouth movement gives them a concrete ‘map’ to follow, making the process less mysterious and more manageable.

    2.      Enhancing motor planning and memory:

    • How it helps: When a child simultaneously moves their hand (the visual gesture) and attempts to make the sound, they are engaging multiple sensory systems (visual, tactile, proprioceptive – body awareness). This multi-sensory input strengthens the neural pathways associated with that speech sound.
    • Why it works: This multi-modal learning helps to solidify the motor plan for the sound in the brain. It’s like having more ‘hooks’ to hang the information on, making the sound easier to recall and produce consistently. The gesture becomes a built-in reminder.

    3.      Reducing cognitive load:

    • How it helps: Instead of just hearing the sound and trying to figure out the complex motor sequence, the child has a visual cue to guide them. This reduces the mental effort required to decode the sound production.
    • Why it works: When cognitive load is lower, the child can focus more effectively on the specific motor execution of the sound, leading to faster progress and less frustration.

    4.      Increasing engagement and success:

    • How it helps: Gestures can make therapy more interactive and fun! When a child successfully produces a sound with the help of a gesture, it’s a tangible victory.
    • Why it works: Success is a powerful motivator. When children experience success, they are more likely to stay engaged, participate actively, and feel more confident in their ability to learn new sounds.

    5.      Supporting self-correction:

    • How it helps: Once a child learns the gesture associated with a sound, he or she can use it as a self-monitoring tool. If he or she makes an error, he or she can use the gesture to remind himself or herself of the correct mouth position or movement.
    • Why it works: This promotes independent learning and reduces reliance on constant adult prompting.

    Conclusion

    The journey of speech development can be challenging, but visual gestures offer a powerful and effective tool for teaching new sounds, especially when motor planning is a factor. By providing a clear visual map, strengthening motor memory, reducing cognitive load, and fostering engagement, these gestures pave the way for clearer communication and greater confidence. If your child is struggling with speech sounds, consider talking to a Speech and Language Therapist to get guidance on how visual gestures might be incorporated into the therapy plan. Because sometimes, seeing truly is believing (and speaking!).

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    The power of containment: A therapeutic approach for autistic children

    Photo by lemonlenz

    The practice of wrapping or swaddling children, often referred to as ‘containment,’ has been used for centuries to soothe and comfort infants. I use this therapeutic approach with autistic children at the London Speech and Feeding Practice. While it might seem counterintuitive, the act of being tightly wrapped can provide significant benefits for children who struggle with sensory processing, emotional regulation, and communication.

    Understanding sensory processing and autism

    Autistic persons often experience challenges with sensory processing, which is their brain’s ability to interpret and respond to sensory information. This can lead to sensory overload or under-responsivity. Containment can be a valuable tool in helping children regulate their sensory input.

    Photo by lemonlenz

    To summarise, here are some of the benefits of containment:

    • Sensory Regulation:
      • Provides deep pressure input: The tight, enveloping sensation of being wrapped can provide deep pressure input, which is calming and organising for many children.
      • Reduces sensory overload: By creating a controlled sensory environment, containment can help to reduce overstimulation and promote a sense of safety.
    • Emotional Regulation:
      • Containment creates a sense of security: Being wrapped tightly can mimic the feeling of being in the womb, providing a sense of security and comfort.
      • Facilitates calming: The deep pressure input can help to calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety.
    • Improved Body Awareness:
      • Enhances proprioception: Containment can improve the child’s awareness of their body in space, which is essential for motor development and sensory integration. I often provide extra pressure on a child’s arms and legs sticking out of the yoga mat; this helps my child understand where their limbs are in space: I can feel my legs and I can feel my arms and I can feel where they are right now, i.e. they are under Sonja’s hand, I can feel them.
    • Facilitates Communication – and this is obviously where I come in as a Speech and Language Therapist:
      • Swaddling creates a safe space: When a child feels calm and secure, they are more likely to engage in communication.
      • Enhances joint attention: The shared experience of being wrapped can foster joint attention, which is essential for language development. You can see this one in my highlights where I swaddle my student in the yoga mat (picture above). She absolutely loves it, and what is more she is calm and steady when usually this child likes to be on the move constantly. Here we have a wonderful moment of joint engagement. She looks at me, she can listen to what I say or sing, and she can tell me in her own way to carry on rolling her or to carry on singing or providing calming pressure to her legs and arms or to stop.

    A few pointers for when you try this at home: How to practise containment safely and effectively

    • Create a safe environment: Ensure the wrapping material is soft, breathable, and free from any hazards.
    • Observe your child’s cues: Pay attention to your child’s body language and verbal cues to determine their comfort level.
    • Respect your child’s boundaries: If your child shows signs of distress, stop the containment immediately – this might seem obvious but sometimes we adults get so carried away with some ‘great idea’ that we have seen work elsewhere. And so we can be a little too ‘determined’ sometimes to ‘make it happen’… perhaps this rings a bell with some of my readers.
    • MAKE IT FUN: Start carefully and take it step by step. See if the student is having a nice time. It is all about trust and therefore it might not work the very first time you do it.

    It’s important to remember that containment is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Some children may respond better to other sensory-based interventions. However, for many autistic children containment can be a valuable tool in their journey towards improved communication and emotional regulation.

    For more information follow me on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Early Intervention Speech and Language Therapist

    Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    The London Speech and Feeding Practice


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Why auditory memory matters (especially for little ones!)

    Why auditory memory matters (especially for little ones!)

    Have you ever stopped to think about how we learn to speak, understand, and communicate effectively? It’s a complex dance of various cognitive skills, and one often overlooked but absolutely crucial player in this orchestra is auditory memory. It’s not just about remembering sounds. It’s about remembering sequences of sounds, which is fundamental to language development.

    What exactly is auditory memory?

    At its core, auditory memory is our ability to take in, process, store, and recall information that we hear. Think of it as your brain’s internal recording studio. When someone speaks to you, your auditory memory is busy at work, capturing the individual sounds, the order in which they appear, and the rhythm and intonation of the words. This isn’t just for long-term recall; it’s also vital for working auditory memory, which allows us to hold onto a small amount of auditory information for a short period, just long enough to make sense of it.

    For speech and language, auditory memory is essential for:

    • Understanding spoken language: To comprehend a sentence, we need to remember the beginning of the sentence by the time we hear the end.
    • Following instructions: Remembering a sequence of commands relies heavily on auditory memory.
    • Learning new words: We hear a word, remember its sound, and connect it to its meaning.
    • Developing phonological awareness: This is the ability to recognise and manipulate the sounds in spoken language, a critical precursor to reading. Auditory memory helps children distinguish between similar-sounding words (e.g., ‘cat’ vs. ‘bat’) and segment words into individual sounds.
    • Producing clear speech: To articulate words correctly, we need to recall the precise sequence of sounds that make up that word.
    • Developing conversational skills: Remembering what was just said helps us formulate appropriate responses.

    When auditory memory falls short: The impact on speech

    When auditory memory is poor, particularly in young children, the ripple effects on speech and language development can be significant. Children might struggle with:

    • Following multi-step directions: ‘Put on your shoes, get your coat, and meet me at the door’ can become an overwhelming jumble of sounds.
    • Learning new vocabulary: They might hear a new word repeatedly but struggle to retain its sound pattern, making it difficult to recognise or use later.
    • Understanding stories or conversations: Missing key details or losing the thread of a narrative because they can’t hold enough information in their working memory.
    • Developing phonological skills: Difficulty with rhyming, identifying initial sounds in words, or blending sounds together to form words, which can impact early literacy.
    • Speech production: They might mispronounce words, omit sounds, or struggle with the correct sequencing of sounds within words.
    • Social communication: Difficulty participating in group discussions, remembering names, or recalling what their peers have said.
    • Academic performance: Auditory memory challenges can impact a child’s ability to learn in a classroom setting, where much of the instruction is delivered verbally.

    It’s important to note that poor auditory memory isn’t a sign of low intelligence, but rather a specific processing challenge that can be addressed with targeted support.

    Nurturing auditory memory in under 5s: Preparing for schooling

    The good news is that auditory memory is a skill that can be strengthened and developed, especially during the crucial early years. For children under five, laying a strong foundation in auditory memory is an invaluable gift as they prepare for the demands of formal schooling. Here’s what we can do to help:

    1. Read aloud regularly: This is perhaps one of the most powerful tools. As you read, encourage your child to listen for specific words, predict what happens next, and retell parts of the story. Vary your voice, use different intonations, and pause to emphasise key words.
    2. Play auditory memory games:
      • ‘Simon says’: This classic game is fantastic for following multi-step instructions. Start with one command and gradually increase the number.
      • ‘I Spy’ with sounds: Instead of colours, describe sounds. ‘I spy with my little ear something that goes “moo”.’
      • Rhyming games: Sing rhyming songs, read rhyming books, and encourage your child to come up with words that rhyme.
      • Sound matching: Use everyday objects to make sounds (e.g., shaking keys, tapping a spoon) and have your child identify or match them.
      • ‘Memory chain’: Start a sentence and have your child add to it, remembering everything that came before: ‘I went to the market and bought an apple.’ ‘I went to the market and bought an apple and a banana.’
    3. Sing songs and nursery rhymes: Repetitive songs and nursery rhymes are excellent for developing auditory memory, rhythm, and phonological awareness. The predictable patterns help children anticipate and remember sequences of sounds and words.
    4. Give multi-step instructions (and praise!): Start with two-step instructions and gradually increase the complexity as your child’s skills improve. Always give positive reinforcement when they succeed. ‘Please pick up the red block and put it in the box.’
    5. Engage in active listening: Model good listening skills yourself. When your child is speaking, give them your full attention. Ask clarifying questions to encourage them to elaborate and organise their thoughts.
    6. Reduce background noise: A quiet environment makes it easier for young children to focus on auditory information. Minimise distractions like TV or loud music during activities that require listening.
    7. Use visual cues: While we’re focusing on auditory memory, sometimes pairing auditory information with visual cues can be helpful, especially initially. For example, when giving instructions, demonstrate the action as you say it.
    8. Be patient and consistent: Developing auditory memory takes time and consistent practice. Celebrate small victories and create a playful, supportive environment for learning.

    By actively engaging in these strategies, we can empower our youngest learners to build robust auditory memory skills, setting them up for success not only in speech and language development but also in their overall academic journey. It’s an investment that truly pays dividends in their future communication and learning abilities.

    Any comments or if you need help and support with your child’s speech please do not hesitate to get in touch with me: simply fill out the contact form here on the website. I endeavour to reply within 48 hours.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
  • · ·

    Speech sounds practice at home

    Speech therapists use a variety of tools to help children master specific sounds, and then the students are sent home with some practice sheets to use daily. Parents are able to observe what we do in the session, but I know that back at home three days later they can’t quite remember what it was all about and how to do the practice.

    Here I explain the importance of visual cues, finger shapes, pictures, and semantic prompts (fancy speech therapy term for word clues!). By understanding these tools, you can turn practice time into a fun and engaging experience for both of you.

    Why Visual Cues matter?

    Imagine learning a new language just by listening. It’s tough, right? Young children learning new speech sounds face a similar challenge. Visual cues act like flashcards for their minds, giving them a clear picture of how to position their mouth and tongue.

    • Mirrors: Encourage your child to watch your face (and theirs) in the mirror as you make the sound together. This helps them see the tongue placement and lip movements required.
    • Mouth pictures: Speech therapy sheets often have pictures of mouths making specific sounds. Point to the picture and explain how the tongue and lips look, then have your child try to imitate it.
    • Your face is the best cue! Don’t underestimate the power of your own face. Over-enunciate the sound and let your child observe your mouth movements. Watch this little video clip where I am teaching the /SH/ sound to my little student. You cannot see him but we are both sitting on the floor opposite one another so that he can see me easily.

    Finger fun: making sounds with our hands

    Finger shapes are another powerful tool in my speech therapy arsenal. Think of them as fun reminders of how to position the tongue.

    • ‘Open Wide’ fingers: For sounds like /AH/ and /OH/, hold your fingers wide apart, mimicking an open mouth.
    • ‘Tongue Up’ fingers: For sounds like /T/ and /D/, touch the tip of your thumb to your other fingers, creating a little ‘wall’ like the tongue tip touches the teeth ridge.
    • ‘Snake Tongue’ fingers: For the /S/ sound, wiggle your pinky finger to represent the snake-like tongue tip.
    • In this little video clip I am demonstrating the C-shape moving forward which I had taught my child, showing how the windy sound (/SH/) travels forward with lips open and slightly pursed.

    Bringing sounds to life with pictures

    Pictures serve as visual prompts to connect the sound with a familiar word.

    • Video clip: I am using the WINDY SOUND picture and the FLAT TYRE sound picture to represent /SH/ and /S/ respectively
    • Point and Say: Point to each picture and say the word clearly, emphasising the target sound. Encourage your child to repeat.

    Unlocking sounds with semantic prompts

    Semantic prompts are fancy words for clues that help your child guess the target sound. They can be simple questions or descriptive words.

    • ‘Can you feel the wind whooshing?’ (/SH/)
    • Think of tyre going flat, or a balloon losing air, or a train coming to a slow halt (/S/)

    Practice makes progress, but fun makes it funnier!

    Remember, the key is to keep practice sessions light and engaging. Here are some extra tips:

    • Short and sweet: Stick to short practice times (5-10 minutes) to avoid frustration.
    • Make it a routine: Integrate practice time into your daily routine, like after breakfast or before bedtime.
    • Positive reinforcement: Celebrate your child’s efforts with praise and high fives!
    • Make it multisensory: Incorporate sensory activities like blowing bubbles for /F/ or feeling the wind for /SH/.

    Parents you’re a vital part of your child’s speech development, and together we can make huge progress quickly.

    Please contact me if your child has speech sound difficulties.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Early Intervention Speech and Language Therapist

    Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    The London Speech and Feeding Practice


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
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    Let’s ditch the ‘Fix-It’ approach to autistic play and stimming

    Let’s ditch the 'Fix-It' approach to autistic play and stimming

    December is often presented as a time of perfect, reciprocal play. Children are supposed to be unwrapping toys, sharing, and engaging in imaginative scenarios with family. But for parents of young autistic children, this high-pressure, socially demanding period can often feel like a battleground.

    If you’ve been told to interrupt your child’s stimming, push for eye contact, or force them to play ‘functionally’ with toys, it’s time to take a deep breath. Those traditional approaches are not only stressful—they often miss the point of your child’s communication.

    As a neurodiversity-affirming Speech and Language Therapist, I want to encourage you this December: You are allowed to follow your child’s lead, validate his or her unique interests, and trust that his or her play and movement are profoundly meaningful.

    1. Stimming: not a distraction, but a regulator 💡

    Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behaviour and includes repetitive movements or sounds like hand flapping, humming, rocking, finger flicking, or repeating phrases (called echolalia).

    For years, parents were incorrectly advised to block or eliminate these behaviours. The neurodiversity-affirming view tells us the exact opposite: Stimming is a vital and essential tool for your child’s self-regulation.

    Think of stimming as an internal volume dial:

    • Too loud/overwhelmed: Your child may stim to reduce incoming sensory input (e.g., rocking to ground himself or herself in a busy room).
    • Too quiet/under-stimulated: Your child may stim to increase sensory input and focus (e.g., running back and forth to maintain alertness).

    The shift: validate, don’t block

    Instead of saying, ‘Stop flapping your hands’, try to understand the message behind the movement.

    • Observe: When does the stimming happen? Is it before a meltdown? When your child excited? When your child is bored?
    • Validate: Name the need, not just the behaviour. You might say, ‘I see your body needs to move fast right now. That helps you calm down!’
    • Co-regulate: If the stim is unsafe (e.g., head-banging), help your child find a safer, alternative stim that meets the same sensory need (e.g., pushing hard against a wall, squeezing a stress ball).

    By validating your child’s need to regulate, you are building trust, reducing anxiety, and teaching him or her critical self-awareness.

    2. Autistic play: Meaningful, even if it’s monologue

    The traditional idea of ‘good play’ often involves turn-taking, pretending, and specific toy functions (e.g., pushing a train around a track). When an autistic child spends 30 minutes lining up cars, spinning their wheels, or scripting whole scenes from a favourite movie, it can often be dismissed as non-functional or repetitive.

    In neurodiversity-affirming practice, we recognise that autistic play is authentic play. These activities are crucial for learning, deep focus, and imaginative development.

    • Lining up toys may be an exploration of patterns, visual organisation, and order.
    • Spinning wheels may be a deep interest in cause-and-effect and visual sensory input.
    • Scripting is often a way to process language, regulate emotions, and practise complex social situations in a safe, controlled way.

    Make a change: Join your child’s world, don’t drag them to yours.

    Stop trying to force the ‘right’ way to play. Instead, try these neuro-affirming strategies:

    1. Be a co-regulator, not a director: If your child is lining up cars, sit down next to him or her. Instead of moving a car, try handing him or her another car to line up. Focus on the shared interest rather than forcing interaction.
    2. Narrate (don’t question): Avoid constantly asking, ‘What are you doing?’ or ‘What does this car say?’ This puts pressure on your child to perform. Instead, narrate your observations using his or her interest: ‘I see you made a long, straight line of red cars. Look at all the wheels spinning!’
    3. Validate the interest: Show genuine appreciation for your child’s focus. ‘Wow, you know so much about how magnets stick together! That’s incredible.’

    3. The communication revolution: Honouring gestalt language processing 

    Many young autistic children communicate in ways that don’t fit the traditional model of building language word-by-word. Many use Gestalt Language Processing (GLP).

    A gestalt language processor learns language in chunks or scripts (e.g., ‘what’s-in-there?’ or ‘ready-go!’). These chunks (or gestalts) are not random; they are often tied to an emotional memory or meaning. Over time, the child breaks down these big chunks into individual words then learns to recombine those words creatively.

    If your child repeats movie phrases or whole sentences that seem unrelated, he or she is likely a gestalt language processor!

    Affirm the script, then model something useful.

    1. Affirm the script: When your child says a script, respond to the meaning or emotion behind it, not the literal words. If he or she says, ‘We’re going to need a bigger boat’, and he or she is looking at a messy toy pile, he or she may be trying to express overwhelm or a need for help. You can affirm: ‘That pile is too big! I can help you move it.’
    2. Model new ‘mix and match’ scripts: To help your child move from whole scripts to single words, you can model shorter, slightly changed versions of the script, also called ‘mitigated gestalts’. If they say, ‘I want to go home now’, you might model, ‘Let’s go home, now’ or ‘I wanna go home’.

    By honouring your child’s communication style, you validate his or her experience and naturally support his or her path to language development—a core part of neurodiversity-affirming SLT.

    Your December gift to your little one:

    This December, stop trying to make your child fit into a neurotypical box. Instead, make your home a safe space where he or she can be his or her authentic selves.

    Prioritise regulation and connection over compliance.

    Trust that when your child is regulated, his or her communication, learning, and engagement will flourish naturally. This is the true gift of neurodiversity-affirming practice.

    Download and print my neuro-affirming quick reference guide and keep this guide handy on your fridge and/or in your child’s play area for a quick reminder to prioritise connection over conformity.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • A day in my life as an Independent Speech and Language Therapist

    During the pandemic I wrote a blog on what my working day looked like. Now a good year has passed since coming back to some sort of normality and I thought I would update this ‘day in the life of an SLT’ as my working life has changed of course to reflect the ‘new normal’.

    I have become truly busy, perhaps busier than I have ever been to be honest. It’s probably mostly due to the fact that I do most of the aspects of my work myself — though I want to mention two invaluable people here without whom I could not function as well as I do: the excellent Nathalie Mahieu () helps me with my SEO, Insta posts and blog uploading and the wonderful Sue Bainbridge () makes sure that my accounts don’t get into trouble with His Majesty’s tax office.

    Attached to our role as Speech and Language Therapists is an arguably enormous amount of administration/paperwork and preparation required for each and every client. This needs to be factored in when deciding how many families I can realistically see each working day. For me it works out as typically 3–5 clients a day, Monday to Friday.

    So how does my day typically look? Each day varies a lot depending on what type of client I have, but on average it looks a bit like this:

    First thing in the morning — after having a coffee and a quick check-in with my besties on WhatsApp — I do my Buddhist chanting for about an hour. My Buddhist prayers are the base of all I do and get me connected to my higher purpose and how to create value with each activity and each person I see that day. It sets me up for the day, I keep in mind who is going to come and see me and how I can best help them.

    Next up, I do the daily ‘spring-clean’ of my therapy room (on all fours! no joke ???? those kids see every speck!), vacuum the floors, wipe down the toys with flash-wipes and tidy up all my boxes, making sure that the battery toys are working, and everything else is in place. On to the guest toilet, the hallway needs to be rid of all the men’s shoes and trainers and coats… It’s endless what needs tidying when you are living with three men… This takes about 45 minutes.

    An articulation activity – packaging practice into a little game

    Then I prep for all my clients that day. I have now got so much quicker about selecting therapy materials. For one thing I have purchased so many toys and materials over the past five years that I can literally now open a shop and need to consider building an extension! ???? The upside is that it is now very easy for me to select a good handful of toys or games for any one child, even at a minute’s notice. Though, on average, I spend about 30 minutes per child preparing activities.

    Hurrah, it’s 11 am and my first client of the day arrives and the fun begins.

    When they leave around an hour later, the cleaning and wiping down starts again, this time less extensively. I write up my notes and send homework whilst enjoying a cuppa.

    The next client comes at 12.30 pm and once they have left, floor cleaned, toys wiped, notes written it is time for a quick lunch. No more than half an hour usually.

    Afternoon clients tend to be one more little one (nursery age) at 2.15 pm and thereafter I see mostly older school children for a variety of reasons (mainly speech production but also some language-based activities). I tend to say farewell to my last client of the day around 6 pm. I spend another hour, sometimes more, on writing up notes, answering new enquiries, blogging and phone calls to keep my service fresh, inspirational and exciting.

    And then dinner and the rest of the day rushes by. I tend to finish my day with some more Buddhist chanting, not a lot, perhaps 10–20 minutes to reflect on what has gone well and what could have been better — re-determine to improve or make better as needed.

    Tele therapy activity using online materials plus a coreboard

    In terms of where I provide a service, I still do a good mix of online clients (tele-therapy) and in-person clients in my clinic, which I love. Occasionally, I visit children in their nursery or at home but this service is now only available for long-standing clients.

    Each client is hand-picked to make sure that we are a good fit: no one client gets the same treatment as another; each client is unique, we get to know one another well over the time we work together and they are always highly valued. That takes time and, in reality, each client gets about two hours of my time. That is the actual session plus all the preparation and aftercare, i.e., bespoke hand holding, tweaks, problem solving and reassurance in between sessions.

    I absolutely love this way of working and would not ever want to do anything else. Nearly three decades of working both in the NHS and in private practice, countless courses (continual professional development) have enabled me to flourish as a therapist and I know that I offer something special and very valuable to my clients.

    My unique way of working affords all my lovely clients the help they need to support their children to make progress; and it gives me the right balance of job satisfaction and work life balance for now. My lovely reviews and testimonials tell me that my clients appreciate my service and this at the end of the day is the most important.

    If you are interested in exploring Buddhism/buddhist chanting then check out this link (https://sgi-uk.org/), and feel free to contact me about that specifically, regardless of whether you want speech therapy. I am always happy to chat about Buddhism, it has been so enriching for the last 43 years of my life.

    If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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