The importance of child-led therapy

ByLondon Speech and Feeding
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Child-led therapy is essentially what it says, therapy sessions that are directed by your child. You may think how can my child’s Speech and Language Therapist focus on goals if sessions are led by my child.

Let us explain…

Your child will be more receptive and motivated to take part in therapy if they have some form of input. E.g., they can choose what toys they want to play with, or how they want to play with the resources available. If sessions are child-centred then they are much more likely to engage and reach their goals, making intervention valuable. They will also be able to regulate their emotions, and use movement to support their need for regulation. E.g., some children like to jump whilst others like to run. As Speech and Language Therapists we need to use what is meaningful to your child to get the most out of intervention. By focusing on child-led therapy, we can build trust, which will allow us, in time, to use new techniques and activities that your child may enjoy. We want children to be themselves, to show their true personality. Therapy is about enhancing their skills in their own individualised way and child-led therapy allows for this.

This way of working may seem daunting to some, but it doesn’t have to feel this way. Parents often feel if they are prepared then activities may go smoother. It might be the case, but perhaps it doesn’t give your child the opportunity for spontaneity. We’d like to suggest something that may lead to some surprises. Put out an activity that is your child’s favourite and then a completely new activity. Remember these activities don’t have to be complicated. Often, the simpler the better!

So, no need to plan, just place two activities out and see what happens! Look out for anything which surprises you, which activity did they prefer? Do they have any sensory preferences? The freedom of choice is a wonderful thing to explore. So, just go with the flow!

The kind of activities that are useful for child-led play can include:

  • Hide and seek
  • Cooking or baking
  • An Exercise ball
  • Small world play
  • Pretend play
  • Musical instruments (you could even have a go at making your own)

Child-led therapy is a very useful resource. We have it at our fingertips. We don’t need special resources. You just need yourselves and your child! Sometimes, child-led therapy can be tricky to put in place. It sounds easy but is much harder in reality. So, make sure you give it time and reflect on your experiences. Ask yourselves ‘what went well’, and ‘what could be improved’. E.g., perhaps you gave your child time to lead to begin with, but you didn’t give them enough time to think about their options during the activity.

How can parents become more child-led in the home environment?

  • Pause and use silence. This gives your child the opportunity to lead.
  • It’s perfectly natural to want to talk. Afterall, this is how adults maintain conversations. If you find yourself talking too much, count to ten! This will allow your child time to respond or initiate in the conversation or interaction.
  • Move down to your child’s level. It’s much easier to see what’s going on if you’re at the same height.
  • Videoing you and your child can really help you to see where your strengths lie. You’ll also be able to make minor tweaks to improve your communication during child-led play.

Contact Sonja for more advice on speech, language and communication during child-led play.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    How do we play with our Gestalt Language Processors?

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Image by Freepik

    Child-led therapy

    When working with Gestalt Language Processors, it is always advisable to use child-led therapy. What does that mean? Child led therapy involves following a child’s interests and allowing her/him to lead the play activity throughout the speech and language therapy session. In other words, instead of having my own ideas of what we might want to play with or what activities I might try and use, I provide a range of toys I know the child likes or has played well with before; then I wait for the child to pick what she/he enjoys doing.

    Play can be very repetitive and we can often see our child cycling back to the same one or two toys throughout the session. But this is what she/he needs to do at that time and it means that we have focused attention and engagement. This in turn is very helpful for the therapeutic process, which is to offer great scripts and phrases/words alongside what she/he is playing with.

    Monotropic minds

    Often the mind of autistic children is more strongly pulled towards a smaller number of interests or hobbies as I like to call them. Dr Dinah Murray, Dr Winn Lawson and Mike Lesser have found in 2005 that autistic people have ‘monotropic’ minds. They explain that autistic children focus their energy on a narrow range of activities as the energy required to switch between several toys is much higher than we would see in the neuro-typical population.

    Gestalt Language Processors are often also Gestalt Cognitive Processors. This is when experiences are retained as episodic events and memories. An event is remembered by specific parts of the same event. And, therefore, these specific parts should always be part of that event, when the event is repeated.

    Should any of the specifics be changed or are missing, then this can cause great upset to Gestalt Cognitive Processors. So, for example, if the last two times in speech therapy we had the train set out and this was played with happily, then this becomes a specific part of the whole session. If, I then don’t offer the train set the third time a child comes to see me, this could be very upsetting.

    This is why I tend to try this out and see what happens. Usually in the 3rd or 4th session: I might not bring out the car run that has hitherto been super successful to see if we are able to transition well to other toys. If yes, then we can have new experiences but if not then I will re-offer the car run/or whatever toy pretty quickly so as not to cause complete dysregulation.

    A few pointers below which help with child-led play:

    Introduce a few new toys and see what happens

    Parents are encouraged to bring some familiar toys their child likes to the session. We can then introduce a couple of different toys to see how we go. Try offering a new toy alongside the familiar one; try offering new toys without the familiar one present, but be prepared to re-offer the “old” toy should our child get upset.

    Rotate toys and don’t offer out too many toys

    I find that children can get overwhelmed and overstimulated by too many items out all at once. I always talk to parents about toy rotation at home and I encourage storage and ‘tidy up’ of toys so that we can increase attention focus, and also maintain freshness and new interest in older toys.

    Some children are not yet ready to play with toys

    Here I suggest people games: these are games where the adult becomes part of a more motor-based activity. Some call it ‘rough and tumble play’ but it can be nursery rhymes such as sleeping bunnies/row row the boat or peek-a-boo for the younger ones.

    Copy/Imitation is so important – try getting two identical or similar play items

    When we are copying our child, it is often not desirable to ‘take turns’ with their toys/blogs/cars etc as our child may not be ready to let us take a turn. Instead, if we have the exact same toy that our child is having then we can play alongside our child and copy them perfectly without interrupting their play.

    References:

    Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism, 9(2), 139-156.

    If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • Using AAC – Augmentative and Alternative Communication for non-verbal and early verbal children

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    Using a Core Vocabulary Board

    Your Speech Therapist might have been advising you to introduce words to your child with the help of a CORE BOARD. What on earth is she talking about and why would we want to do this, I hear you think – and in fact this is what I get asked a lot, as I often do recommend using Core Boards.

    Core boards belong to the category of Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC ) and they can be really useful for:

    • Children or adults who cannot speak at all or who are very hard to understand.
    • Children who are slow to speak and have difficulty expressing themselves verbally, due to genetic conditions as Down Syndrome, Verbal dyspraxia, Autism or any other learning difficulty that means a child is slow to develop speech.

    Here is what a Core board might look like, in fact this is one that I love to use. It is made by Beautiful Speech Life, there are a ton of similar boards out there for free. I have also made my own, you can check it out on my Instagram feed.

    Using a Core Vocabulary Board

    What is Core Vocabulary/ Core words?

    Core vocabulary consists of the most common words used by children throughout a day. In 2003 Banajee and Dicarlo et al found that 50 % of pre-schoolers in their project used nine words consistently across their daily play and meal routines. These words are Core words and are typically the ones you can see on a board, like the one above.

    How To Use It

    Adults always first need to consistently model and show their child how to use a board. This is key! For example: Adult can point to “YOU” “WANT” ‘MORE” and then point to the cup of Water on the counter. Child could then reply either by shaking his/her head and/or pointing to “NOT” which also stands for “NO”. Then adult can point to “NOT” “MORE” and do an OK sign as well. Eventually Child can initiate a request and point to “I” “ WANT” “MORE” and then point to the cup on the counter.

    This is not as cumbersome or limited as it first sounds or appears. Here’s why: As adult you can talk normally and, of course, many words you are using will not be on this board. But some will be, and you will be surprised how many you can find when you start using it. So you could say quite normally: Hey lovely (name of your child) would YOU LIKE some MORE water? The words in capital are on the board which you can point to as you speak normally. Basically, you are showing/saying to your child: “We can speak and these are the pictures we can use to help us; We call this TOTAL COMMUNICATION, as communication is so much more than just words! Great communication can be silent, where we use our facial expression, our smile, our eyes, our hand gestures, body movements and yes, of course, words. But when words fail us, these boards are so helpful.

    This still does not answer your original question of: why would I want to do this, I want my child to talk!? You are a SPEECH Therapist, please help my child TALK, not point to pictures, that is not what I had in mind.

    Let Me Explain

    When speech is difficult for a child it doesn’t mean that there is nothing to talk about! Of course, we want all our children and all people to speak because it is the easiest and most effective way of communicating, no doubt! However, sometimes this is very hard for some children and whilst we are always working towards speech where possible, we also want to make sure that whilst figuring out how to speak, your child has a MEANS TO COMMUNICATE. Using a board like this might well be a temporary strategy but whilst you are using it and working on their speech you will find a reduction in tantrums and frustration as you child is able to express themselves more effectively.

    Often we find that as soon as we offer a CORE VOCABULARY like the above sample a child who has had no or very few words suddenly blossoms and starts to point to new words on the board and starts to PRACTICE USING THESE WORDS!! Practice makes perfect, right? Yes it totally does! There is lots of evidence that tells us that using Core Vocabulary Boards ENHANCE AND SUPPORT SPEECH PRODUCTION AND NOT HINDER IT. Using a board like this will only ever be helpful to your child and will never make your child “lazy” – too lazy to speak? NO SUCH THING!

    Here is what one of my parents says about the core board we use with her little boy:

    “the board has been a game changer, my son is a visual learner so it really helps to have the board as he associates communication so much easier this way. We have incorporated his twin sister who models it’s use and have definitely seen improvement in speech through its support and his frustration around being unable to verbally communicate at times has definitely lessened”

    K Connolly, Mother of Tom (aged 3.5 years).

    Reading and hearing this makes me so happy!

    In addition to general core board above I also sometimes use a Core Board that is specific to an activity, such as for example BLOWING BUBBLES. Below is an example of such a board, which you can use very nicely during a bubble blowing activity and sometimes it is a nice place to start for newcomers, this can be an easy introduction. You can download this and many similar boards on www.widgit.com for free!

    Using a Core Vocabulary Board

    There is so much more to say about AAC and using Coreboards, visit my Instagram you can find a bit more information on how I use them.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Hard munchables: Chewing through the weaning journey

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    As a Speech and Language Therapist with a specialism in paediatric feeding, I’m constantly looking for ways to support families in developing their little ones’ oral motor skills and fostering a positive relationship with food. While Baby-Led Weaning (BLW) has revolutionised how many families introduce solids, (see my previous blog in July 25) a concept that often sparks discussion and curiosity is the use of ‘hard munchables.’

    Image by Freepik

    What are hard munchables?

    The term ‘hard munchables’ refers to specific types of firm non-digestible food items that are offered to babies for oral exploration and skill development, not for nutrition. These are typically foods that babies cannot bite off or swallow in large pieces due to their texture, but which provide resistance for chewing practice.

    The phrase was coined by Marsha Dunn Klein, M.Ed., OTR/L, Occupational Therapist and feeding therapist. Well known for her work in paediatric feeding she introduced and advocated for the concept of hard munchables as part of a therapeutic feeding approach, particularly for infants learning to manage textures and develop crucial oral motor skills.

    Common examples of hard munchables include:

    • Large, raw carrot sticks: Too hard to bite through, but great for gnawing.
    • Celery sticks: Like carrots, offering firm resistance.
    • Large, raw apple slices (peeled chunks): A firm, slightly sweet option.
    • A firm, uncut pear core: With the seeds removed.
    • Dried mango cheeks (hard, unsweetened varieties): These offer a fibrous texture.
    • A large, fully cooked but firm piece of meat (like a steak bone with some meat attached): The meat provides flavour and a bit of shreddable texture, while the bone is for gnawing.
    • Hard crusts of bread or breadsticks (very firm, without soft inner crumb): These can soften slightly with saliva but offer significant resistance.
    Image by Freepik

    It’s crucial to emphasise that hard munchables are not for consumption or nutrition. They are tools for oral motor development and should always be offered under strict, active supervision.

    How do hard munchables fit into weaning?

    While weaning (traditional or Baby-Led Weaning) introduces solid foods that a baby can eventually bite and swallow, hard munchables are complementary to the weaning phase. They enhance that phase by helping a child to develop hand dexterity, hand to mouth movement, and oral development.

    It’s important to differentiate: Weaning provides the digestible food for eating, while hard munchables provide the tool for skill practice. They are not substitutes for each other but can be used together under careful guidance.

    Pros and cons from a speech therapy perspective

    As an SLT, I see both the potential benefits and the necessary precautions when incorporating hard munchables.

    Pros:

    • Enhanced oral motor development: Hard munchables provide excellent resistance training for the jaw, helping to develop the strength, endurance, and coordination needed for efficient chewing. This is foundational for moving beyond purées and very soft textures.
    • Promotes lateralisation of the tongue: The act of moving the hard item from side to side in the mouth encourages the tongue to move independently of the jaw, a crucial skill for managing food and for speech sound production.
    • Preparation for more complex textures: By strengthening the oral musculature and refining chewing patterns, hard munchables can help babies transition more smoothly to lumpy and mixed textures.
    • Sensory exploration: They offer rich sensory input (tactile, proprioceptive) that can be beneficial for oral mapping and awareness, especially for babies who might be orally sensitive.

    Cons:

    • Choking risk: While the intention is for the baby not to bite off pieces, there is always a risk. Small pieces can break off, or a baby might accidentally bite off a larger chunk than he or she can manage. Active, vigilant supervision is non-negotiable.
    • Not a replacement for digestible solids: It’s vital to remember that hard munchables are for practice, not nutrition. They should complement, not replace, the introduction of varied, digestible solid foods.
    • Not suitable for all babies: Babies with certain developmental delays, oral motor deficits, or medical conditions might not be appropriate candidates for hard munchables without highly specialised guidance. For instance, babies with an exaggerated gag reflex might find them overwhelming.

    Key Considerations for Parents

    Here are my top recommendations:

    1. Consult with a professional: Always discuss this with your Paediatric Feeding SLT first before you introduce hard munchables. We can assess your baby’s individual readiness and guide you on safe practices.
    2. Strict supervision: Never leave your baby unsupervised with a hard munchable, even for a second. Your full attention is required.
    3. Appropriate size: Ensure the item is large enough that the baby cannot fit the whole thing in their mouth. It should extend well beyond their fist.
    4. No biting off: The goal is gnawing and scraping, not biting off pieces. If your baby is consistently breaking off chunks, stop using them.
    5. Focus on skill, not consumption: Reiterate to yourself that this is for practice, not for eating.

    In conclusion, hard munchables, when used appropriately and under guidance, can be a very valuable tool to support oral motor development during the weaning journey. However, always be safe and consult with a specialist to ensure your little one develops his or her feeding skills effectively and joyfully.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    References:

    Rapley, G., & Murkett, T. (2008). Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods. Vermilion.

    Morris, S. E., & Klein, M. D. (2000). Pre-feeding skills: A comprehensive resource for feeding development. Pro-Ed.

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  • ·

    Discover speech and language regression in autistic children and how you can support your child

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Discover speech and language regression in autistic children and how you can support your child

    There’s often this idea that autistic children have extensive vocabulary and knowledge, but this is not always the case. In fact, 30% of autistic children have language regression.

    Goldberg (2003) suggested that speech and language regression refers to the decline in a young child’s speech and communication abilities. We know that regression in speech, language and communication skills often occur before the age of two years. 25% of autistic children develop language at word level between 12 and 18 months of age before losing this language they have learned. As you’re probably aware this regression in communication is a diagnostic indicator of Autism.

    We understand that you want your child to progress, and you struggle to watch as their frustration grows as you feel helpless. I want to provide you with tips so that you can feel empowered to support your autistic child and reduce the impact their communication skills have on the family.

    1. Reduce frustration by providing visuals to support their communication
    2. Model gestalts. We know that autistic children are often gestalt language processors. Learn more about gestalt language processors in one of my previous posts.
    3. Praise the ability to communicate. Focus on what they say not how they say it. E.g., good listening, nice talking.
    4. Provide your child with choices (using real objects to represent your choices). E.g., do you want an apple or banana?
    5. Your child must be motivated and have a purpose to communicate. So, ensure you use highly motivating objects for conversations
    6. Provide them with opportunities to communicate. We need to teach children that if they want something, there’s a process that you need to have the opportunity to ask for it. We find that if parents understand what their child wants (without them asking), the object is given to them, and so there’s no reason for your child to ask.
    7. There’s this idea that we need to teach children eye contact. This is not always the case. Your child is unique, we do not want to take their unique skills away.
    8. Model words which are concrete. E.g., words such as ‘finished’, ‘more’. You can model these several times within the day. You can use a gesture to make the word more visual (see the images below). We know that autistic children are often visual learners.
    Makaton fro "more"
    Makaton for “more”
    Makaton for "finished"
    Makaton for “finished”

    Credit: Little Dots Makaton, Polkadot World

    Remember that if your child has speech, language and communication regression, it doesn’t mean your child will stay static.

    It’s vital that you seek support from a qualified Speech and Language Therapist. We can tell you at what point in the communication development that your child is at. And we can support you through the process. We can provide you with an individualised plan specifically for your child to ensure you maximise their potential.

    Contact me for help.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Let’s live and breathe AAC

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    We all have the right and want to express thoughts, feelings, and needs. For non-speaking or minimally speaking children, finding an avenue to communicate effectively can be a challenging journey. Parents are often at a loss as to where to start. Sometimes a little bit of Makaton signing has been used here and there but we mostly find that gradually signing fades as parents feel that it just doesn’t seem to get copied and used by the children.

    They live and breathe their system

    This is where we need to pick up the pieces and start again: because all successful families where children start using their boards or their electronic AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) systems do this one thing: THEY LIVE AND BREATHE THEIR SYSTEM.

    • They have boards in every single room of the house;
    • They have a board in the car, attached to the side of car door so their child can point to it as they need to;
    • They have a smaller board in their handbag/rucksack when out and about;
    • They have a board for shopping and attach it to the shopping trolley;
    • They are never ever without their board.

    Because they realise that a child should never be without their mouths to speak, should never be without a means to speak. They use their own board to model and the child has always access to their board to model back or to just look.

    This is where success begins

    Success begins at consistent and joyful use of the board/AAC system throughout the entire day. If we think about it, doesn’t it make sense? Of course, it does! We talk to our child for the first two years of their life continuously wherever we are and our child is continuously encouraged to use their mouths for talking in all situations.

    Same goes for Signing: Makaton or any other sign system is a very powerful means to aid communication and I certainly advocate and use it in practice. Though much like words, signs are very elusive and temporary—as soon as the sign has been made it is gone and no longer present. Same with words of course. This can be difficult for people who need longer to process information.

    The beauty of symbols or photographs is that they are permanent: they don’t vanish, they stay and with the core board they stay in the same place! This is very reassuring. We can learn where a symbol is and we can be assured that it will still be there the next time we look at the board.

    AAC core board

    Here is a picture of a core board:

    AAC board

    You can download this and other boards for free on the Saltillo Word Power website.

    It has 48 cells and we can see the most frequently used core words on here, words that we use 80% of the day when talking with our non-speaking/minimally speaking children, younger children and children with cognitive delay. We keep our sentences short and we say phrases pertaining to their daily lives;

    • Let’s GET your toy
    • PUT it here, PUT it away, PUT it IN
    • Let’s READ a book
    • UP you get
    • WANT some MORE?
    • That’s GOOD isn’t it?
    • Let’s OPEN the box and LOOK

    And so on… All these phrases can be aided with the above board. Your child will learn OVER TIME and OVER CONTINUOUS USE where GET/PUT/MORE/WANT/IN—where these symbols are. For children who are slow to process this is so helpful, to have a visual representation of what has just been said. It aids understanding in the first place. Gradually as a child starts to copy they will point to powerful symbols themselves and if they want to speak they can also speak of course:

    A child might point to WANT + MORE and then say with their mouths: BANANA!

    Board examples

    Here are some other boards I have made specifically for daily situations and preferences of some of my students. Here is one for toileting:

    AAC toileting board

    And another one:

    These boards incorporate high-frequency and versatile words, enabling us to make little sentences.

    Building Language and Literacy Skills

    AAC Core Boards are not just tools for immediate communication. They also play a pivotal role in language and literacy development. By using these boards, non-speaking children engage with words and symbols, reinforcing their understanding of language structure and grammar.

    Over time they naturally absorb language patterns, laying the foundation for improved literacy skills.

    Customisation for Individual Needs

    Every non-speaking child is unique, and their communication needs can vary significantly. AAC Core Boards are designed with this diversity in mind. The boards can be adapted to include specific vocabulary relevant to the child’s daily life, interests, and activities. This personalisation ensures that the AAC Core Board is a true reflection of the child’s personality and needs, making communication more engaging and effective.

    Collaboration between AAC Core Boards and Speech Therapy

    While AAC Core Boards are an incredible tool, they are only used effectively by the non-speaking child when the board is used BY ALL COMMUNICATION PARTNERS around the child.

    Again, I know I am being repetitive here, but the board needs to be used and modelled by the adults constantly in the first place and for a period of time before we can expect our children to take an interest and use the boards themselves. Think how long it typically takes for a child to learn their first word: around a year! During that time the adults talk constantly to their child without hesitation or expectation! The same goes for introducing this new way of communicating.

    Collaborating with your child’s speech-language therapist (SLT) ensures that your child receives the right guidance in using the AAC system. SLTs can assess your child’s communication abilities, recommend appropriate boards and provide guidance on how to best implement them.

    Conclusion

    For non-speaking children, AAC Core Boards are bridges to their world.

    These boards foster language development, social interaction, and personal expression. AAC Core Boards offer a beacon of hope, helping non-speaking children break through communication barriers and thrive in a world that is waiting to hear their voices. Boards are simple for anyone to use and understand. Have a go! You will be surprised how lovely it is to use a board with ease and once your child sees you do this, you have a chance for your child to start copying you…and express something! HOW ABOUT THAT! I look forward to hearing your stories!

    The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Let’s ditch the ‘Fix-It’ approach to autistic play and stimming

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Let’s ditch the 'Fix-It' approach to autistic play and stimming

    December is often presented as a time of perfect, reciprocal play. Children are supposed to be unwrapping toys, sharing, and engaging in imaginative scenarios with family. But for parents of young autistic children, this high-pressure, socially demanding period can often feel like a battleground.

    If you’ve been told to interrupt your child’s stimming, push for eye contact, or force them to play ‘functionally’ with toys, it’s time to take a deep breath. Those traditional approaches are not only stressful—they often miss the point of your child’s communication.

    As a neurodiversity-affirming Speech and Language Therapist, I want to encourage you this December: You are allowed to follow your child’s lead, validate his or her unique interests, and trust that his or her play and movement are profoundly meaningful.

    1. Stimming: not a distraction, but a regulator 💡

    Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behaviour and includes repetitive movements or sounds like hand flapping, humming, rocking, finger flicking, or repeating phrases (called echolalia).

    For years, parents were incorrectly advised to block or eliminate these behaviours. The neurodiversity-affirming view tells us the exact opposite: Stimming is a vital and essential tool for your child’s self-regulation.

    Think of stimming as an internal volume dial:

    • Too loud/overwhelmed: Your child may stim to reduce incoming sensory input (e.g., rocking to ground himself or herself in a busy room).
    • Too quiet/under-stimulated: Your child may stim to increase sensory input and focus (e.g., running back and forth to maintain alertness).

    The shift: validate, don’t block

    Instead of saying, ‘Stop flapping your hands’, try to understand the message behind the movement.

    • Observe: When does the stimming happen? Is it before a meltdown? When your child excited? When your child is bored?
    • Validate: Name the need, not just the behaviour. You might say, ‘I see your body needs to move fast right now. That helps you calm down!’
    • Co-regulate: If the stim is unsafe (e.g., head-banging), help your child find a safer, alternative stim that meets the same sensory need (e.g., pushing hard against a wall, squeezing a stress ball).

    By validating your child’s need to regulate, you are building trust, reducing anxiety, and teaching him or her critical self-awareness.

    2. Autistic play: Meaningful, even if it’s monologue

    The traditional idea of ‘good play’ often involves turn-taking, pretending, and specific toy functions (e.g., pushing a train around a track). When an autistic child spends 30 minutes lining up cars, spinning their wheels, or scripting whole scenes from a favourite movie, it can often be dismissed as non-functional or repetitive.

    In neurodiversity-affirming practice, we recognise that autistic play is authentic play. These activities are crucial for learning, deep focus, and imaginative development.

    • Lining up toys may be an exploration of patterns, visual organisation, and order.
    • Spinning wheels may be a deep interest in cause-and-effect and visual sensory input.
    • Scripting is often a way to process language, regulate emotions, and practise complex social situations in a safe, controlled way.

    Make a change: Join your child’s world, don’t drag them to yours.

    Stop trying to force the ‘right’ way to play. Instead, try these neuro-affirming strategies:

    1. Be a co-regulator, not a director: If your child is lining up cars, sit down next to him or her. Instead of moving a car, try handing him or her another car to line up. Focus on the shared interest rather than forcing interaction.
    2. Narrate (don’t question): Avoid constantly asking, ‘What are you doing?’ or ‘What does this car say?’ This puts pressure on your child to perform. Instead, narrate your observations using his or her interest: ‘I see you made a long, straight line of red cars. Look at all the wheels spinning!’
    3. Validate the interest: Show genuine appreciation for your child’s focus. ‘Wow, you know so much about how magnets stick together! That’s incredible.’

    3. The communication revolution: Honouring gestalt language processing 

    Many young autistic children communicate in ways that don’t fit the traditional model of building language word-by-word. Many use Gestalt Language Processing (GLP).

    A gestalt language processor learns language in chunks or scripts (e.g., ‘what’s-in-there?’ or ‘ready-go!’). These chunks (or gestalts) are not random; they are often tied to an emotional memory or meaning. Over time, the child breaks down these big chunks into individual words then learns to recombine those words creatively.

    If your child repeats movie phrases or whole sentences that seem unrelated, he or she is likely a gestalt language processor!

    Affirm the script, then model something useful.

    1. Affirm the script: When your child says a script, respond to the meaning or emotion behind it, not the literal words. If he or she says, ‘We’re going to need a bigger boat’, and he or she is looking at a messy toy pile, he or she may be trying to express overwhelm or a need for help. You can affirm: ‘That pile is too big! I can help you move it.’
    2. Model new ‘mix and match’ scripts: To help your child move from whole scripts to single words, you can model shorter, slightly changed versions of the script, also called ‘mitigated gestalts’. If they say, ‘I want to go home now’, you might model, ‘Let’s go home, now’ or ‘I wanna go home’.

    By honouring your child’s communication style, you validate his or her experience and naturally support his or her path to language development—a core part of neurodiversity-affirming SLT.

    Your December gift to your little one:

    This December, stop trying to make your child fit into a neurotypical box. Instead, make your home a safe space where he or she can be his or her authentic selves.

    Prioritise regulation and connection over compliance.

    Trust that when your child is regulated, his or her communication, learning, and engagement will flourish naturally. This is the true gift of neurodiversity-affirming practice.

    Download and print my neuro-affirming quick reference guide and keep this guide handy on your fridge and/or in your child’s play area for a quick reminder to prioritise connection over conformity.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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