Why Imitation is so Important

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Why imitation is so important and how can speech and language therapy help children who struggle to imitate?

Imitation or copying starts in early infancy. When we observe a young baby and his parent or familiar adult we can see clearly and frequently that the baby will be intently looking at adult’s face and try to copy their facial expressions, smiles and all those funny baby sounds we often make with young babies.

These sounds are called “motherese” and are the beginnings of a little conversation between the parent and the baby. The “conversation can go back and forth for a long time and include sounds, as well as facial expressions.

A little later on, once the baby can crawl and sit up unaided the copying then goes on to include toys and objects. Mum or Dad will show their toddler how to use a drum or how to put a little train on the wooden tracks and the toddler will try and copy this. They may not succeed and be a little clumsy perhaps but the act of copying anything and everything their favourite adult does is typically seen throughout the day.

We all know and have laughed at mums or dads saying; ssshhh don’t say that in front of the baby he/she will copy you, watch your mouth! (as dad is swearing at the broken radiator….)

This imitation goes on for years and includes eventually of course little words, more words, putting words together and then creating sentences, all the while our toddler is listening to how their adults speak, not only what they say but how they say it. This is how dialects and accents can be transmitted easily from parent /family to child.

Copying in Children with Autism

We know that children with autism often struggle to imitate. We see children on the spectrum typically having great difficulty to copy adults or children; this can be seen in very reduced play with their peers in nursery for example.

Children with autism tend to have reduced joint attention and engagement with others and need to develop the ability and awareness to copy others in order to then engage more jointly with others.

Speech and Language Therapy can help with Parent Child Interaction work and Coaching, here is how:

During my coaching work with parents I teach step by step how to help a child who struggles to imitate:

We look at all the researched skills and actions that adults can take to help their little one to copy, starting with close observation of their child’s interests, then following and including their child’s play and copying/imitating their child in how they play. I teach steps in a graduated way so that it is easy to see the progress and joyful to have the results at the end.

The results are clear to see over time: our children on the spectrum learn to imitate actions, with objects and gestures, then sounds and words. Alongside this increased imitation skill the child can then develop more joint attention and engagement.

I would always recommend Parent Child Interaction Training as a first port of call as we learn so many great techniques which are well researched by the Hanen Programme, www.hanen.org. Do drop me a line if you would like to find out more.


Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    How to model AAC with our minimally speaking students?

    modelling AAC

    How should we start? Should we use prompts? What kind of prompts? hand-over-hand or just pointing? Should we wait, and, if so, how long? Introducing an alternative communication system (AAC) to our child is for many of us a confusing and sometimes scary prospect, but it needn’t be! Let me reassure you and share some tricks of my practice in this area.

    Once we have decided to try for a picture based communication system, I usually start with a paper-based single page with between 48–88 core-words. I choose the number of words depending on where the child is developmentally and also verbally.

    If a child does have a small handful of words already, I might start with the 88-cell board below. If, on the other hand, my student is completely non-speaking and still quite little then I might go for the 48-cell below here or I might have even less cells to start with. Again, sometimes I start with an electronic device in my clinic just to trial and introduce the idea and to see if, or how, a student responds. 

    Below are some samples: a 49-cell board which I made for a child in a nursery setting

    Below a Saltillo WordPower board that can be downloaded from the Saltillo website:

    Example of a slightly more advanced board, again from the Saltillo Website

    And here below one example of a board I made for a specific activity for a child who loves water and sand play:

    It is perfectly possible to be very flexible and create a suitable board for any student, starting with as few as 2–5 cells and working up to over a 100 (very small ones) on a sheet of A4 or A3 paper.

    So once we have a good board for our child, what now? How do we start introducing this into our daily life?

    We can start by showing/pointing to the word GO within a play activity. For example:

    • a car run,
    • or a marble run,
    • or a spinner activity,
    • a wind-up toy,
    • anything that can be stopped and started easily.

    How to start?

    I will talk us through each of the steps using the example for the word ‘GO’.

    First phase

    The first phase is a TEACHING/ LEARNING PHASE. In this phase we do not expect our student to do anything, to copy us or to point to the board. If they do that it is of course a huge bonus and we will celebrate it.

    Our job is to simply MODEL/SHOW/GIVE EXAMPLES of how we can use the board, by steadily and regularly pointing to the chosen word or words. We do so across the day and across settings:

    • play
    • meal time
    • getting dressed/undressed
    • bath time
    • going to the car/shops
    • etc

    Once we can be sure that our student has been submerged and SOAKED in seeing the coreboard being used, say after some 3–4 weeks of using it consistently…

    Second phase

    We can begin to move into the second phase which is the PRACTICE PHASE. By now the student has seen the boards and he or she has seen the word GO (as a example) modelled many times.

    Now we can start to see if we can tempt our student into trying this out for themselves.

    What sort of TEMPTING are we talking about? Take a look at the Prompt Hierarchy below, which shows us what to do to get our student to be independently communicating as soon as possible. 

    The PROMPT HIERARCHY: what sort of prompting should we do, should we expect something from our student or how should we view this stage?

    1.  TEMPT AND PAUSE

    I have the AAC near to the toy and each time the child starts another round of the activity I say clearly ‘GO’ and I point to the picture as do so. I then pause and wait to see what happens. NOTHING? Then…

    1. USE SIGNS AND BODY LANGUAGE

    Next time the child starts another round I might be very animated and do a Makaton sign for GO as I say ‘GO’ and I make a very over point to the picture again. Then I wait. STILL NOTHING? OK then…

    1. OPEN-ENDED QUESTION

    Now I might say ‘GO’ and follow with: ‘OOH I WONDER IF THERE IS A PICTURE TO POINT TO…’

    ‘OH LOOK HERE IS GO!’ I then point to GO.

     STILL NO RESPONSE?

    1. ASK FOR A RESPONSE

    I might say ‘GO’ followed by ‘LOOK! LET’S POINT TO GO HERE ON THE PICTURE.’

    STILL NO RESPONSE? 

    1.  PHYSICAL TOUCH

    Next time I say ‘GO’ I will try and take the student’s hand, help isolate their finger and help him or her to point to the actual picture.

    REMEMBER: Prompting serves a very important function in scaffolding learning for students BUT if we are constantly prompting kids, then we are teaching them to only communicate when someone tells them to. We want our student to become as independent in speaking and using words as possible.

    So once I have done Physical Prompting I will try and phase back down to number 1 where all I need to do is point to the picture or look at the board with the aim that the student will then point to the picture.

    Take away points:

    • Keep the learning phase pressure-free and model without expecting our student to jump in. In other words, let’s model first without expectation. Later we can have a little bit of expectation.
    • After they’ve been exposed to and have been ‘soaked’ in plenty of AAC input, then, YES, we can create an opportunity to help them say or point to the word on their own.
    • We can model BOTH with and without expectation.
    • Only after LOTS of exposure, use the least to most prompting hierarchy and start creating opportunities for a student to become an independent communicator.

    Do get in touch if you have any questions or comments or if you would like some practical help.

    I am always pleased to hear from you.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Bilingualism – should I speak only English with my speech delayed child?

    Introduction

    Bilingualism is a beautiful aspect of our diverse world. Growing up in a bi- or multi-lingual household is a wonderful gift, allowing children to communicate with a broader range of people and access many cultures.

    My own two children grew up in a bilingual German-English speaking household. They have both been so enriched by this experience, not only language- and learning-wise but of course also culturally: their world has always been so open and colourful. Growing up in inner London and having their German family and mum’s friends as well, this has been a wonderful experience. Both my boys speak German well (not quite like native speakers but like very good second language speakers) and both have very easily learned 3rd and 4th languages additionally when in secondary school.

    Whilst bilingualism has untold benefits, it’s not uncommon for bilingual children to take slightly longer to reach certain speech milestones. This should not be automatically mistaken for speech disorders but rather seen as a natural part of bilingual language development.

    Bilingualism and speech delays

    Sometimes, of course, we do see speech delays or disorders where a child’s speech development lags significantly behind their peers. We often see a delay in both languages equally, making it extra hard for to communicate effectively. BUT PLEASE KNOW the family speaking in multi-lingual languages never caused the delay/disorder!

    If there is a delay or a disorder any number of other reasons could have caused it, such as:

    • hearing impairments,
    • reduced phonological awareness,
    • sensory processing issues,
    • reduced attention and reduced joint attention,
    • neuro-developmental delays or difficulties,
    • general or specific learning difficulties
    • or sometimes other genetic factors.

    So, to say that the difficulty is due to a child being exposed to several languages is a red herring. (no offence to herrings!)

    Speech therapy

    Speech therapy can be powerful to help bilingual /multilingual children with speech delays unlock their full linguistic potential. By providing individualised assessments, targeted interventions, and involving families, speech therapy can bridge the gap between speech delays and bilingualism. It’s essential for the therapist and parents to work together to support the children in their unique linguistic journeys, helping them communicate effectively and thrive in both of their languages.

    Happy Islamic family sitting on the floor
    Image by Freepik

    Speak your home language at home

    Many parents report that they worry about speaking their home language at home and instead they have been focusing on just speaking English at home. They now rarely use their home language with their child. They fear that speaking a language other than English with their child will cause further delay and hinder their progress. All parents want the best for their child and often parents fear that their child won’t fit in or will be seen as ‘different’. So we can understand why parents feel that the English language is the only one worth having.

    But the opposite is the case: it is crucial to speak in both languages freely, both at home and outside the home! Both languages will benefit your child, no matter what the delay or difficulty is. Acquiring a ‘mother tongue’ or native language is absolutely vital for children to have a good, solid linguistic grounding on which to build other languages. Bilingual children may mix languages during speaking and parents may equally mix their languages. This does not hinder language development and is a natural part of linguistic development.

    Speak freely and naturally

    What is far more important than the question: ‘which language should I say this in?’ Instead think: ‘let me speak freely and naturally, let me respond naturally, in good intonation and let communication flow freely to the child.’

    Speech therapy can be a crucial resource for bilingual or multilingual children and their families.

    We work on targeted interventions to address speech and language difficulties, helping your child develop essential communication skills. For home practice between therapy sessions, we can recommend tailored treatment plans to help you help your child in daily life. Our input could be focusing on articulation, phonological awareness, attention and listening, vocabulary development and grammar.

    Family support is crucial in speech therapy. We like to work closely with parents to provide guidance and strategies for fostering language development in both languages at home.

    If you have any worries about your child being delayed in a bilingual or multilingual household do get in touch and we will be happy to support you in your journey.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · ·

    How do we play with our Gestalt Language Processors?

    Image by Freepik

    Child-led therapy

    When working with Gestalt Language Processors, it is always advisable to use child-led therapy. What does that mean? Child led therapy involves following a child’s interests and allowing her/him to lead the play activity throughout the speech and language therapy session. In other words, instead of having my own ideas of what we might want to play with or what activities I might try and use, I provide a range of toys I know the child likes or has played well with before; then I wait for the child to pick what she/he enjoys doing.

    Play can be very repetitive and we can often see our child cycling back to the same one or two toys throughout the session. But this is what she/he needs to do at that time and it means that we have focused attention and engagement. This in turn is very helpful for the therapeutic process, which is to offer great scripts and phrases/words alongside what she/he is playing with.

    Monotropic minds

    Often the mind of autistic children is more strongly pulled towards a smaller number of interests or hobbies as I like to call them. Dr Dinah Murray, Dr Winn Lawson and Mike Lesser have found in 2005 that autistic people have ‘monotropic’ minds. They explain that autistic children focus their energy on a narrow range of activities as the energy required to switch between several toys is much higher than we would see in the neuro-typical population.

    Gestalt Language Processors are often also Gestalt Cognitive Processors. This is when experiences are retained as episodic events and memories. An event is remembered by specific parts of the same event. And, therefore, these specific parts should always be part of that event, when the event is repeated.

    Should any of the specifics be changed or are missing, then this can cause great upset to Gestalt Cognitive Processors. So, for example, if the last two times in speech therapy we had the train set out and this was played with happily, then this becomes a specific part of the whole session. If, I then don’t offer the train set the third time a child comes to see me, this could be very upsetting.

    This is why I tend to try this out and see what happens. Usually in the 3rd or 4th session: I might not bring out the car run that has hitherto been super successful to see if we are able to transition well to other toys. If yes, then we can have new experiences but if not then I will re-offer the car run/or whatever toy pretty quickly so as not to cause complete dysregulation.

    A few pointers below which help with child-led play:

    Introduce a few new toys and see what happens

    Parents are encouraged to bring some familiar toys their child likes to the session. We can then introduce a couple of different toys to see how we go. Try offering a new toy alongside the familiar one; try offering new toys without the familiar one present, but be prepared to re-offer the “old” toy should our child get upset.

    Rotate toys and don’t offer out too many toys

    I find that children can get overwhelmed and overstimulated by too many items out all at once. I always talk to parents about toy rotation at home and I encourage storage and ‘tidy up’ of toys so that we can increase attention focus, and also maintain freshness and new interest in older toys.

    Some children are not yet ready to play with toys

    Here I suggest people games: these are games where the adult becomes part of a more motor-based activity. Some call it ‘rough and tumble play’ but it can be nursery rhymes such as sleeping bunnies/row row the boat or peek-a-boo for the younger ones.

    Copy/Imitation is so important – try getting two identical or similar play items

    When we are copying our child, it is often not desirable to ‘take turns’ with their toys/blogs/cars etc as our child may not be ready to let us take a turn. Instead, if we have the exact same toy that our child is having then we can play alongside our child and copy them perfectly without interrupting their play.

    References:

    Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism9(2), 139-156.

    If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • ·

    Let’s relax about making EYE CONTACT already…

    There’s been a long tradition with teaching staff and with Speech and Language Therapists working in schools that eye contact should be a goal. It is well known that Autistic individuals (whether that be children or adults) mostly avoid eye contact. Whilst it’s part of the way we communicate, it shouldn’t be used as a necessity for an individual who feels that it is uncomfortable. Whilst it does show that you’re listening and showing an interest, it’s not a fair expectation for neurodiverse children.

    Autistic children can find making and maintaining eye contact physically and emotionally uncomfortable as well as unnatural. It adds an extra layer of stress and has been reported to increase distractions rather than reduce them. Children who engage in conversations in their own way (i.e., with reduced eye contact) are not shown to suffer with schooling, work, or social interaction.

    By having fun through meaningful activities, I often experience that ‘BINGO’ moment (a phrase coined by Alex @meaningfulspeech) where the child is enjoying themselves and naturally makes eye contact. There is no demand on them, they are in a fun, engaging environment which suit their strengths and supports their needs.

    Following this, I often reflect on this question ‘Should we make eye contact as a goal?’

    It very much depends on the situation. If it places more demands on the child and becomes stressful. Then no. There are many strategies we can use which gain eye contact without placing extra demands on the child. We need to be mindful to adapt the environment and not place neurotypical expectations to meet the needs of neurodiverse children.

    How can you encourage eye contact without demand?

    • If you’re using toys, try holding them up to your eye level.
    • You can adjust your position, try sitting face to face during play.
    • Always get down to your child’s level. This might mean that you lay on the floor if your child is positioned in this way.
    • During play, waiting is extremely powerful. Before a key part of the activity, wait and see if your child looks at you. Remember silence is golden!
    • The best way I find is: do something unusual during play. It might be that you spray shaving foam with the lid still on. Or you bring out a wow toy and make it spin/light up or make a noise. A balloon can be good – see video clip. Use the excitement of the activity, and wait to see if you achieve that ‘BINGO’ moment.
    • Create opportunities when there are no toys involved such as during ‘tickles’ or ‘hide and seek’. Autistic children find it difficult to shift their attention between a toy and an adult. So by removing one option, you’re setting them up to succeed.

    Remember, it takes practice and time for you to develop these skills. Try one at a time and experiment, see which works best for your child. If you need speech, language or communication support or advice, I am always here to help.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · ·

    The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays

    The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays
    Supplied by Sonja McGeachie, Practice Owner

    As parents and caregivers, our natural instinct when interacting with a child, especially one who struggles with communication, is often to fill every silence. We might ask lots of questions, offer constant commentary, or try to prompt him or her to speak. Our hearts are in the right place. We want to help him or her communicate! However, for children with language delays or those on the autism spectrum, this well-intentioned approach can sometimes inadvertently create more pressure and fewer opportunities for them to truly initiate and develop their own communication skills.

    What if I told you that one of the most powerful tools in your communication toolkit is often silence? And that responding to your child, rather than always initiating, can unlock incredible potential?

    Let’s explore why these seemingly simple strategies are so profoundly beneficial.

    The unspoken benefits of silence

    In our fast-paced world, silence can feel awkward, but for a child who is processing language differently, it’s a gift:

    1. Time to process: Children with language delays often need more time to process what they hear and to formulate their own thoughts or responses. When we bombard them with words, we don’t give their brains the crucial milliseconds they need to catch up. A pause of 5–10 seconds can make all the difference.
    2. Reduces pressure: Constant questioning or prompting can feel like a test. Silence removes this pressure, creating a more relaxed environment where the child feels safe to communicate without fear of being ‘wrong’ or rushed.
    3. Creates opportunity to initiate: If you’re always talking, when does your child get a turn to start the conversation? Silence opens up a space for him or her to initiate, whether it’s through a sound, a gesture, eye contact, or a word. This is vital for developing spontaneous communication.
    4. Encourages independent thinking: When a child is given space, he or she is more likely to try to figure things out himself or herself. This fosters problem-solving skills and reduces reliance on adult prompts.
    5. Prevents overwhelm (especially for ASD): Many children on the autism spectrum can be sensitive to auditory input. A constant stream of language can be overwhelming, leading to withdrawal or challenging behaviours. Strategic pauses can help them regulate and engage more effectively.

    The power of responding (not just initiating)

    Think of a tennis match: if only one person serves, it’s not a game. Communication is a rally, a back-and-forth exchange. When you primarily respond to your child’s communication attempts, you’re teaching him or her the rhythm of conversation:

    1. Follow the child’s lead: This is a cornerstone of effective language intervention, famously championed by programs like Hanen’s ‘It Takes Two to Talk’. When you respond to what your child is already interested in or doing, the interaction becomes immediately relevant and motivating for him or her.
    2. Validates his or her attempts: Every sound, gesture, glance, or partial word your child offers is a communication attempt. By responding to it, you’re telling him or her, ‘I see you. I hear you. Your communication matters.’ This builds immense confidence and encourages him or her to try again.
    3. Builds confidence and motivation: When a child feels understood and successful in his or her communication, he or she are more likely to communicate more often. It’s a positive feedback loop.
    4. Teaches turn-taking naturally: By taking your turn after his or hers, you model the natural flow of conversation. He or she learns that communication is a shared activity, not a one-sided lecture.
    5. Makes interactions meaningful: When you respond to his or her interests, you’re talking about things that are inherently motivating to him or her. This makes the language you use more easily understood and remembered.

    Practical strategies for parents: Observe, Wait, Listen (OWL)

    The Hanen Centre’s ‘Observe, Wait, Listen’ (OWL) strategy perfectly encapsulates these principles:

    • Observe: Watch your child closely. What is he or she looking at? What is he or she doing? What sounds is he or she making? What gestures is he or she using?
    • Wait: After you’ve observed, wait. Give him or her time. Resist the urge to jump in with a question or comment immediately. Count to five (or even ten) in your head. This silence is an invitation for him or her to communicate.
    • Listen: When he or she does communicate (in any way!), listen intently. Try to understand his or her message or intent.

    Beyond OWL – More tips:

    • Reduce questions, increase comments: Instead of ‘What’s that?’ try ‘Oh, a big red ball!’ or ‘The car is going fast!’ Comments provide language models without demanding a verbal response.
    • Expand, don’t just prompt: If your child says ‘Car’, you could respond with ‘Yes, That’s a big car!’ or ‘It’s really fast!’ You’re building on his or her communication with a slightly richer language model.
    • Create opportunities for communication: Place desired items slightly out of reach. This creates a natural reason for your child to communicate his or her wants (e.g., reaching, pointing, vocalising).
    • Respond to all communication: Don’t just wait for words. If your child points, look where he or she is pointing and comment. If he or she makes a sound, imitate it or respond with a related word.

    In summary

    Embracing silence and prioritising responsiveness might feel counterintuitive at first, especially when you’re eager for your child to talk. However, these powerful strategies create a nurturing, low-pressure environment that encourages spontaneous communication, builds confidence, and truly meets your child where he or she is. By giving your child the space and the meaningful responses he or she needs, you’re laying a strong foundation for his or her communication journey.

    Try incorporating these ‘quiet powers’ into your daily interactions and watch your child’s communication blossom.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
  • Getting down on their level: Why face-to-face play is a speech therapy superpower

    As parents, we spend a massive portion of our days multi-tasking. We are talking to our toddlers while washing dishes, shouting encouraging words from across the living room while folding laundry, or answering their questions from a few feet above them while walking through the supermarket. It is a completely natural dynamic, after all, the adult world happens up here, and their world happens down there.

    But when it comes to actively boosting your child’s speech and language development, one of the simplest, most profound changes you can make costs absolutely nothing and requires no special training.

    It is simply this: Get down on the floor, sit cross-legged, and get face-to-face.

    At London Speech and Feeding I call this physical positioning ‘face to face’. It is also one of the major ‘Hanen Programme’ Strategies. It completely reshapes how your child interacts with you, transforms how they process language, and turns ordinary playtime into an instant communication opportunity.

    Our mouth is the magic: Visual cueing and speech imitation

    When a child is learning to talk, they aren’t just listening to the sounds you make; they are watching how you make them.

    Speech is an incredibly complex motor skill. To say a single word, the brain must coordinate the lips, tongue, teeth, jaw, and vocal cords in a fraction of a second. When you speak to your child from a standing or even a seated chair position while they are on the floor, your mouth is entirely out of their direct line of sight. They miss the visual roadmap of speech.

    When you sit right in front of them at eye level:

    • They see mouth shapes: They can see how your lips round for an /OO/ sound, how your teeth touch your lip for an /F/ sound, or how wide your mouth opens for an /AH/.
    • They read facial expressions: Emotions give context to words. Seeing your eyes widen with excitement or your eyebrows lift in surprise helps them map meaning onto the vocabulary you are using.
    • They mimic naturally: By putting your face directly in your child’s field of vision, you make it infinitely easier for her or him to try and copy your oral movements.

    If you are working on a specific word like ‘pop’ while blowing bubbles or ‘more’ during snack time getting your face just a foot or two away from your child gives her or him the front-row seat she or he needs to learn the mechanics of that word.

    Unlocking joint attention: The foundation of all languages

    Before a child can say their first words, they need to master a milestone called joint attention.

    What is joint attention?

    It is the magic moment when a child looks at an object (like a toy train), looks up at you to share their excitement, and then looks back at the object. It is a three-way loop of shared experience.

    Without joint attention, communication cannot thrive. If a child is entirely hyper-focused on a toy and ignoring your presence, or if you are commenting on a book they aren’t looking at, true communication isn’t happening.

    When you get down on the floor on a play mat, you naturally insert yourself into their bubble. You aren’t a distant narrator anymore; you are a co-player. Being at their level makes it incredibly easy for their eyes to flick from the toy straight to your face. This shared gaze is the exact moment language takes root. It signals to the child, ‘We are experiencing this together, and this thing we are doing has a name.’

    The ‘wait and see’ technique

    Once you are down on the floor, the temptation is often to take over by pointing at everything, asking a million questions like ‘What’s that?’, ‘Is that a blue train?’, or somehow driving the play.

    Instead, the most powerful thing you can do at eye level is to practise the ‘Wait and See’ technique.

    In the video clip you can see this exact dynamic in action. Look at how I am sitting cross-legged on the mat, at eye level with the toddler. Notice how my hands are on the toy container, but my eyes are locked on the child. I am not forcing the interaction; instead, I am waiting.

    Here is how you can use this strategy at home:

    1. Set the stage: Get down on their level with a high-interest toy that requires help (like a wind-up toy, bubbles, or a tight-lidded box with toys inside).
    2. Create anticipation: Hold the object near your face or place your hands on it, but don’t open or activate it right away.
    3. Lean in and wait: Lean slightly forward, open your eyes wide, adopt an expectant facial expression, and completely pause. Count to five or ten in your head. Do not say anything.
    4. Capture the gaze: Wait for the exact moment your child looks up from the toy to meet your eyes, as if to say, ‘Well? Are you going to open it?’
    5. Reward the eye contact: The instant they make eye contact, deliver the language reward! Model a simple, functional word like ‘Open!’, ‘Go!’, or ‘Look!’ as you immediately do the action.

    By pausing and waiting at eye level, you create a ‘communication temptation’. The child learns that looking at you and engaging with your face is the key that unlocks the fun.

    Making it a daily habit

    You don’t need to spend hours a day sitting on the floor to see a difference. Start small by dedicating just 10 to 15 minutes of undivided, face-to-face play time each day. Turn off the television, put your phone in another room, get down on their level, and let them lead the play while you focus on being their visual communication partner.

    Whether you’re opening a little toy briefcase, pushing a plastic train along a track, or stacking blocks, remember: your face is the best toy in the room.

    Are you wondering if your toddler’s speech and language milestones are on track? At London Speech and Feeding I love helping families navigate early communication. Feel free to explore my services page and reach out directly to schedule a consultation.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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