Before reading this blog, it’s important to understand what we mean by ‘social communication’ and ‘imitation’. Social communication is more complex than it first appears. It refers to many aspects of communication such as body language, voice, conversational skills, social ‘rules’ (such as being polite and using manners), interpersonal skills (such as developing friendships), and emotional literacy (such as appropriacy and developing self-awareness). Imitation refers to the simple act of copying.
You may have noticed that your child has difficulties in some of the areas mentioned above. They might be less responsive to you and appear to be quite happy in their own world. Whilst we do not want to change their unique characteristics, we do need to prepare them for future experiences, and what is socially acceptable.
How will copying my child develop their social communication?
If your child is already engaged with a certain activity, they are already interested and motivated. You’re not competing for their attention.
Both yours and your child’s attention is on the same activity which makes imitating for you (as the parent) easier.
Studies have demonstrated that when a parent imitates a child, they are more likely to look at the adult.
Imitation not only supports eye contact but supports facial expressions (such as smiling), may increase vocalisations, and encourages your child to sit closer to you.
Children learn through trial and error. They may start to try to perform new actions to gain their parents attention. Let your child lead the play!!
How do I start imitating my child?
Start with observing them. Take the time just to watch. You don’t need to make notes. Sit back and observe their actions, movements, and sounds they make.
Wait for your child’s reaction when they realise you are copying their actions. Remember they may not notice, you don’t need to remind them, simply copy them again.
Having the same set up as your child allows them to feel in control. So, you may have two sets of the same activity rather than copying using their set of toys.
This may sound daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Start with a ten-minute time frame where you choose to copy your child. This is where you can practise your imitation strategy. Ten minutes a day is far more effective than an hour every two weeks. You may feel self-conscious but trust the process. Build your confidence, whilst exposing your child’s to increased language and communication, enabling them to develop vital social communication skills.
Look at the video above to watch the strategy in action!
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
First up try and get down at eye level or Face-to-Face with your child
Try to sit so that your child can see you easily, i. e. your child does not have to look up to make eye contact with you. We call that Face to Face: try and sit opposite your child. This makes it easier for you to see facial expressions and therefore pick up nonverbal /pre-verbal communication. Now you can connect and share the moment with your child.
OWL (Observe, Wait and Listen)
Never skip this step as it prepares us for what happens next !
Observe
First, try and simply watch your child quietly and listen and observe what he/she says or does; you need to know what your little one is interested in. For example with this toy (pictured below) we could observe that your child loves the actual spinning of the marble, perhaps more than that noisy click-clacking down the run. Or perhaps he loves collecting the marble at the end and feeling it in his hand.
You could start off with showing once how the marble goes down and say:“ look it goes round and round !” Then hold back and observe, without speaking, so that your child has time to explore the toy.
Wait
Just sit and avoid telling or showing your child what he or she could do with the toy. This gives your child an opportunity to explore and experiment.
Listen
Listen to what your child says, or look at your child’s non-verbal communication without interrupting. Your child will now feel and know that you are really present and that what they have to say is important. It’s best to avoid questions like, “What are you doing or “What’s this?” as that might be a lot of pressure when they don’t know what to say about that yet.
Respond immediately by showing interest
Once you have all the information from OWLing you can respond in the right way, for example: if she catches the marble at the end of the run and looks up with a smile or a sound you could respond with: you’ve got it! One marble in your hand! Nice playing!
Now how to join in the play:
First you can copy what your child is doing
If your child puts the first marble at the top of the run you can take a turn and do exactly the same once his marble is done. Ideally you might have another marble run, perhaps a similar one, it does not have to be exactly the same! Once your child has put the first marble in you can do the exact same with your own marble on your run. Your child is likely to look at what you are doing and you might well see a smile on their face or perhaps she might say: look at mine!
Next you can build on that
You can respond with simple comments like: “Wow! Yes I am looking at yours now! It’s spinning on the red one lots! I love the noise!” Now wait once more to see what your child says or does.
To summarise
We are signalling to our child that we are really interested in what they are doing and saying so we can “collect” our child, i.e. bring him/her back into a joint interaction.
Important
We want to try and not direct our child but respond with interest and fun! This creates a lovely stage for interaction and joint play! And this leads in turn to practising conversation and ever more opportunities for great speech and language skills to emerge.
Great activities we use in Speech and Language Therapy:
Any cause and effect toys like this Marble Run
Creative activities, such as mark making with crayons
Train tracks (building and running the trains)
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
One of my favourite pieces of advice I give to parents is the ‘4 S’, a strategy coined by the Hanen Program® which I teach, particularly the ‘More than Words’ programme which is designed for and aimed at parents of children with Social Communication Difficulties or Autism. It is honestly one of those golden nuggets that I use myself in my practice and I highly recommend it to all my parents. There is something about terms like the ‘4 S’ that is easy to recall and therefore use.
Introduction
The ‘4 S’ is a strategy that helps to clarify the words we use with our children so that they can notice us, hear us and understand what we are saying.
Research shows that we use on average 120-200 words per minute during everyday conversation. That’s a lot! And our children who are still learning to communicate are often bombarded with endless speech coming at them all day long. If we take into account that many of our students are Gestalt Language Processors, we can see that picking out relevant chunks of what we are saying is not at all easy, and this contributes to our children’s delays.
So let’s look at the ‘4 S’
1. The first one is SAY LESS
This means we should use shorter, simpler sentences with good grammar, for example, something like: ‘let’s get ready, time to put our shoes on’ instead of what we might be saying: ‘come on then darling, let’s put your shoes on we need to get going it’s dark outside’ or similar.
Good grammar helps to give clues about what words mean and how they are used in sentences. So, instead of ‘shoes on’ say ‘let’s put our shoes on’.
2. The second one is STRESS
I hear you think ‘I am stressed!‘. – NO! here it means ‘highlight’. We use our voice to highlight the important words in our sentence or phrase. For example, when you say ‘this banana is so yummy’ you can stress the word ‘yummy’ by saying it a bit louder and you can make a gesture, like rubbing your tummy as you say it.
3. The third one is GO SLOW
This means to speak a bit slower than you normally would and add pauses. By slowing down the pace of our speaking we give our child time to think and understand what we are saying. When we allow for pauses after we have spoken, we are inviting our child to say something in response.
4. The last one is SHOW
Always remember to show actions, gestures, objects, and point to pictures while speaking to help support your child’s understanding. We can show our child what words mean by pointing to things or holding up objects whilst describing or talking about them.
At this point I would also like to recommend the use of Core Boards, and particularly Electronic AAC devices, such as LAMP Words for Life or PODD. I have written about this in other blogs but can always be persuaded to say a bit more on the matter… 😊 It is such a big help to have an AAC talker available for both the child and the adult so we can find words and pictures to help support the words we are saying.
For example, today when reading a book like The Hungry Caterpillar (so good!) I used my LAMP AAC talker to make comments as we were looking at the pages together with my student. Example: ‘Look! He is eating more cake he is very hungry’ using my AAC talker I was able to supplement my speech and at the same time I was inviting my minimally speaking child to press a button or two and reply with ‘cake!’ which they would not have said with their mouth otherwise.
5. It does say ‘4 S’ but really it should be ‘5’ except the fifth is not an ‘S’
The fifth is REPEAT.
Repeat words and phrases often throughout the day. When learning a language we all need to hear words and phrases several times and in different situations before we can understand, remember, and then eventually use them. Our children are ‘new language learners’ and so we can apply the same principles that we would when learning a new foreign language ourselves.
Any questions or need help with supporting your little one’s language please contact me via my contact form, or you could also check out www.hanen.org for advice and lots of inspiration.
Sonja McGeachie
Early Intervention Speech and Language Therapist
Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice
The London Speech and Feeding Practice
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
For many families, Halloween is an exciting time filled with costumes, decorations, and sweets. But for children who are sensory sensitive, whether they’re autistic, have sensory processing differences, or simply find new experiences overwhelming, Halloween can feel like a night of chaos rather than fun.
The bright lights, unexpected noises, strange textures, and social pressure to ‘join in’ can quickly become too much. The good news? With some thoughtful planning and gentle support, you can make Halloween a positive and manageable experience for your child.
Understanding sensory overload
Sensory overload happens when a child’s brain receives more sensory input than it can process. This might mean:
Costumes that itch, squeeze, or feel strange on the skin.
Loud sounds like doorbells, fireworks, or shrieking decorations.
Crowds and unpredictability during trick-or-treating.
Strong smells or tastes from face paint or unfamiliar sweets.
When overloaded, children may cry, cover their ears, hide, run away, or ‘shut down.’ These reactions aren’t ‘bad behaviour’, they’re signs of distress. The goal isn’t to eliminate Halloween fun, but to adjust it to your child’s comfort level.
Step 1: Choose costumes wisely
Costumes are often the biggest trigger. Scratchy fabrics, tight seams, or masks that restrict breathing can be unbearable for some children.
Try these tips:
Go sensory-friendly: Use soft, breathable fabrics and remove tags. Many retailers now sell sensory-safe costumes.
Test it early: Let your child wear the outfit around the house before Halloween. If it’s too much, simplify — maybe themed pyjamas or a favourite T-shirt with Halloween accessories.
Skip the mask: Face paint can be equally challenging, always test on a small patch of skin first. A comfortable headband or hat might be enough to feel ‘in costume.’
Remember, participation doesn’t require perfection. Your child can still ‘be’ their favourite character without a full costume.
Step 2: Plan your Halloween environment
Before the big day, think about what parts of Halloween your child enjoys — and what might overwhelm them.
At home:
Keep decorations minimal and predictable. Avoid motion-activated sounds or flashing lights.
Practise knocking at your own front door or saying ‘trick or treat’ with a trusted adult.
Have a ‘quiet space’ ready, a cosy corner or room where your child can retreat if things get too intense.
If you’re going out:
Choose earlier, quieter times for trick-or-treating.
Visit a few familiar houses instead of the whole street.
Bring ear defenders or noise-cancelling headphones.
Have a clear exit plan if your child needs a break.
Sometimes, watching from the window and handing out sweets can be just as enjoyable! it still offers social participation without sensory overload.
Step 3: Prepare socially and emotionally
Halloween involves a lot of unexpected social interaction: strangers at the door, unfamiliar greetings, and different rules.
Help your child by:
Using visuals or stories: Read picture books about Halloween or make a short social story about what will happen.
Role-playing: Practise saying ‘Trick or treat!’ or handing out sweets in a fun, low-pressure way.
Labelling feelings: Explain that it’s okay to feel nervous or to take a break if something feels ‘too loud’ or ‘too much.’
Children feel safer when they know what to expect. Predictability reduces anxiety and makes participation more enjoyable.
Step 4: Rethink the treats
Not every child enjoys sweets; some dislike sticky textures or strong flavours. Offer non-food alternatives like stickers, glow sticks, or small toys.
If your child has feeding difficulties or oral sensitivities, it’s okay to opt out of the traditional treats entirely. They can still join in by giving treats or decorating treat bags instead.
Halloween doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s version. Maybe your family watches a ‘not-too-scary’ film, carves pumpkins, or does a flashlight treasure hunt indoors. The goal is joyful connection, not conformity.
A calm, happy experience, even if it looks simple from the outside builds positive associations your child will carry into future celebrations.
In summary
Halloween can be full of sensory surprises, but with empathy, planning, and flexibility, it doesn’t have to end in tears.
The more you adapt to your child’s sensory needs, the more they learn that they are safe, understood, and included not just at Halloween, but in every celebration.
As with all things in speech and feeding development, progress starts with connection. When children feel regulated and supported, communication and confidence follow.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Sonja McGeachie
Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist
Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
As parents and caregivers, our natural instinct when interacting with a child, especially one who struggles with communication, is often to fill every silence. We might ask lots of questions, offer constant commentary, or try to prompt him or her to speak. Our hearts are in the right place. We want to help him or her communicate! However, for children with language delays or those on the autism spectrum, this well-intentioned approach can sometimes inadvertently create more pressure and fewer opportunities for them to truly initiate and develop their own communication skills.
What if I told you that one of the most powerful tools in your communication toolkit is often silence? And that responding to your child, rather than always initiating, can unlock incredible potential?
Let’s explore why these seemingly simple strategies are so profoundly beneficial.
The unspoken benefits of silence
In our fast-paced world, silence can feel awkward, but for a child who is processing language differently, it’s a gift:
Time to process: Children with language delays often need more time to process what they hear and to formulate their own thoughts or responses. When we bombard them with words, we don’t give their brains the crucial milliseconds they need to catch up. A pause of 5–10 seconds can make all the difference.
Reduces pressure: Constant questioning or prompting can feel like a test. Silence removes this pressure, creating a more relaxed environment where the child feels safe to communicate without fear of being ‘wrong’ or rushed.
Creates opportunity to initiate: If you’re always talking, when does your child get a turn to start the conversation? Silence opens up a space for him or her to initiate, whether it’s through a sound, a gesture, eye contact, or a word. This is vital for developing spontaneous communication.
Encourages independent thinking: When a child is given space, he or she is more likely to try to figure things out himself or herself. This fosters problem-solving skills and reduces reliance on adult prompts.
Prevents overwhelm (especially for ASD): Many children on the autism spectrum can be sensitive to auditory input. A constant stream of language can be overwhelming, leading to withdrawal or challenging behaviours. Strategic pauses can help them regulate and engage more effectively.
The power of responding (not just initiating)
Think of a tennis match: if only one person serves, it’s not a game. Communication is a rally, a back-and-forth exchange. When you primarily respond to your child’s communication attempts, you’re teaching him or her the rhythm of conversation:
Follow the child’s lead: This is a cornerstone of effective language intervention, famously championed by programs like Hanen’s ‘It Takes Two to Talk’. When you respond to what your child is already interested in or doing, the interaction becomes immediately relevant and motivating for him or her.
Validates his or her attempts: Every sound, gesture, glance, or partial word your child offers is a communication attempt. By responding to it, you’re telling him or her, ‘I see you. I hear you. Your communication matters.’ This builds immense confidence and encourages him or her to try again.
Builds confidence and motivation: When a child feels understood and successful in his or her communication, he or she are more likely to communicate more often. It’s a positive feedback loop.
Teaches turn-taking naturally: By taking your turn after his or hers, you model the natural flow of conversation. He or she learns that communication is a shared activity, not a one-sided lecture.
Makes interactions meaningful: When you respond to his or her interests, you’re talking about things that are inherently motivating to him or her. This makes the language you use more easily understood and remembered.
Practical strategies for parents: Observe, Wait, Listen (OWL)
Observe: Watch your child closely. What is he or she looking at? What is he or she doing? What sounds is he or she making? What gestures is he or she using?
Wait: After you’ve observed, wait. Give him or her time. Resist the urge to jump in with a question or comment immediately. Count to five (or even ten) in your head. This silence is an invitation for him or her to communicate.
Listen: When he or she does communicate (in any way!), listen intently. Try to understand his or her message or intent.
Beyond OWL – More tips:
Reduce questions, increase comments: Instead of ‘What’s that?’ try ‘Oh, a big red ball!’ or ‘The car is going fast!’ Comments provide language models without demanding a verbal response.
Expand, don’t just prompt: If your child says ‘Car’, you could respond with ‘Yes, That’s a big car!’ or ‘It’s really fast!’ You’re building on his or her communication with a slightly richer language model.
Create opportunities for communication: Place desired items slightly out of reach. This creates a natural reason for your child to communicate his or her wants (e.g., reaching, pointing, vocalising).
Respond to all communication: Don’t just wait for words. If your child points, look where he or she is pointing and comment. If he or she makes a sound, imitate it or respond with a related word.
In summary
Embracing silence and prioritising responsiveness might feel counterintuitive at first, especially when you’re eager for your child to talk. However, these powerful strategies create a nurturing, low-pressure environment that encourages spontaneous communication, builds confidence, and truly meets your child where he or she is. By giving your child the space and the meaningful responses he or she needs, you’re laying a strong foundation for his or her communication journey.
Try incorporating these ‘quiet powers’ into your daily interactions and watch your child’s communication blossom.
Sonja McGeachie
Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist
Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
Many of my students have difficulties telling stories. When looking at a book together, even books they love and have seen many times, they often struggle to understand what they are reading and cannot therefore retell the story in any sequence. A great method I often use with those students is called Colourful Semantics.
What is Colourful Semantics?
Colourful Semantics is an approach aimed at helping children develop grammar and meaning of phrases and sentences. We help children identify WHO is the subject in a story, what is he/she/it DOING to WHAT and WHERE. There are lots of colour coded stages but we tend to start with the basic 4:
WHO = ORANGE
DOING = YELLOW
WHAT = GREEN
WHERE = BLUE
Once a student is accomplished at this level, we move on to different colour codes for describing words (adjectives), connecting words (with/together/and/therefore) feeling words (PINK), timing words (BROWN) eg. when, tomorrow, last week etc.
Colourful Semantics is a really useful method and helps children to organise their sentences. It also helps me knowing how to guide a student in thinking about the story.
The approach can be used with children with a range of Speech and Language Needs, such as:
Developmental Delay / Disorder
Autistic Spectrum Condition
Down Syndrome
Any other syndromes and related speech and language delays
General Literacy difficulties
There are a wide range of benefits to using this approach and I use it in my therapeutic work with children of around 3 years plus. Below is a little video which shows how I use it with this student who has general language difficulties associated with Autism. One of the main benefits with this student is that seeing the Cue Cards helps her to use a much wider range of vocabulary than she would ordinarily generate. Her sentences are getting longer and she is more able to answer questions. In general, I find it useful to help with storytelling and to guide us through the story in a sequence.
There are many on-line games these days that have incorporated the Colourful Semantics Approach. Once a child is familiar with the basic colour scheme then gradually the visual prompts can be reduced to using verbal prompts.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
As parents, we spend a massive portion of our days multi-tasking. We are talking to our toddlers while washing dishes, shouting encouraging words from across the living room while folding laundry, or answering their questions from a few feet above them while walking through the supermarket. It is a completely natural dynamic, after all, the adult world happens up here, and their world happens down there.
But when it comes to actively boosting your child’s speech and language development, one of the simplest, most profound changes you can make costs absolutely nothing and requires no special training.
It is simply this: Get down on the floor, sit cross-legged, and get face-to-face.
At London Speech and Feeding I call this physical positioning ‘face to face’. It is also one of the major ‘Hanen Programme’ Strategies. It completely reshapes how your child interacts with you, transforms how they process language, and turns ordinary playtime into an instant communication opportunity.
Our mouth is the magic: Visual cueing and speech imitation
When a child is learning to talk, they aren’t just listening to the sounds you make; they are watching how you make them.
Speech is an incredibly complex motor skill. To say a single word, the brain must coordinate the lips, tongue, teeth, jaw, and vocal cords in a fraction of a second. When you speak to your child from a standing or even a seated chair position while they are on the floor, your mouth is entirely out of their direct line of sight. They miss the visual roadmap of speech.
When you sit right in front of them at eye level:
They see mouth shapes: They can see how your lips round for an /OO/ sound, how your teeth touch your lip for an /F/ sound, or how wide your mouth opens for an /AH/.
They read facial expressions: Emotions give context to words. Seeing your eyes widen with excitement or your eyebrows lift in surprise helps them map meaning onto the vocabulary you are using.
They mimic naturally: By putting your face directly in your child’s field of vision, you make it infinitely easier for her or him to try and copy your oral movements.
If you are working on a specific word like ‘pop’ while blowing bubbles or ‘more’ during snack time getting your face just a foot or two away from your child gives her or him the front-row seat she or he needs to learn the mechanics of that word.
Unlocking joint attention: The foundation of all languages
Before a child can say their first words, they need to master a milestone called joint attention.
What is joint attention?
It is the magic moment when a child looks at an object (like a toy train), looks up at you to share their excitement, and then looks back at the object. It is a three-way loop of shared experience.
Without joint attention, communication cannot thrive. If a child is entirely hyper-focused on a toy and ignoring your presence, or if you are commenting on a book they aren’t looking at, true communication isn’t happening.
When you get down on the floor on a play mat, you naturally insert yourself into their bubble. You aren’t a distant narrator anymore; you are a co-player. Being at their level makes it incredibly easy for their eyes to flick from the toy straight to your face. This shared gaze is the exact moment language takes root. It signals to the child, ‘We are experiencing this together, and this thing we are doing has a name.’
The ‘wait and see’ technique
Once you are down on the floor, the temptation is often to take over by pointing at everything, asking a million questions like ‘What’s that?’, ‘Is that a blue train?’, or somehow driving the play.
Instead, the most powerful thing you can do at eye level is to practise the ‘Wait and See’ technique.
In the video clip you can see this exact dynamic in action. Look at how I am sitting cross-legged on the mat, at eye level with the toddler. Notice how my hands are on the toy container, but my eyes are locked on the child. I am not forcing the interaction; instead, I am waiting.
Here is how you can use this strategy at home:
Set the stage: Get down on their level with a high-interest toy that requires help (like a wind-up toy, bubbles, or a tight-lidded box with toys inside).
Create anticipation: Hold the object near your face or place your hands on it, but don’t open or activate it right away.
Lean in and wait: Lean slightly forward, open your eyes wide, adopt an expectant facial expression, and completely pause. Count to five or ten in your head. Do not say anything.
Capture the gaze: Wait for the exact moment your child looks up from the toy to meet your eyes, as if to say, ‘Well? Are you going to open it?’
Reward the eye contact: The instant they make eye contact, deliver the language reward! Model a simple, functional word like ‘Open!’, ‘Go!’, or ‘Look!’ as you immediately do the action.
By pausing and waiting at eye level, you create a ‘communication temptation’. The child learns that looking at you and engaging with your face is the key that unlocks the fun.
Making it a daily habit
You don’t need to spend hours a day sitting on the floor to see a difference. Start small by dedicating just 10 to 15 minutes of undivided, face-to-face play time each day. Turn off the television, put your phone in another room, get down on their level, and let them lead the play while you focus on being their visual communication partner.
Whether you’re opening a little toy briefcase, pushing a plastic train along a track, or stacking blocks, remember: your face is the best toy in the room.
Are you wondering if your toddler’s speech and language milestones are on track? At London Speech and Feeding I love helping families navigate early communication. Feel free to explore my services page and reach out directly to schedule a consultation.
Sonja McGeachie
Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist
Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
