Four struggles parents face when out and about with children with speech, language, and communication difficulties

ByLondon Speech and Feeding
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A man and a woman hug a young girl at a table
Hug

You (as parents) often describe yourselves as being under constant pressure and stress when looking after your children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). You may find going out to do the simplest of tasks a challenge. And you will try to avoid social situations out of fear and anxiety. One of the most important factors to you is having like-minded people who understand your position as a parent with a young person with additional needs. Let’s look at some of the challenges you face and how I can support you and your family.

1. Challenging behaviour and going out to the shops

When your child displays challenging behaviour and won’t go into a shop without buying a toy that they insist on having, it can be tough on your family. You see people around you staring as you try to manage the situation. They do not understand the pressures you face, or that the simplest of tasks are a huge challenge.

I can support you by giving strategies to use when out and about. I know that using visuals is important for your child. They may not understand or take in language when they are in a heightened state of anxiety or feeling overwhelmed. You could print pictures of the places you’re going to and put them on an easily accessible chain. Then you could use that chain when out and about at the shops. You may want to introduce a visual timetable at home. That way your child or young person understands where they are going. This may lessen their anxiety and subsequent behaviour.

2. Your child is not able to communicate their needs to an unfamiliar communication partner

When your child has difficulty communicating to an unfamiliar person it can be hard to manage. You feel yourself explaining your situation repeatedly. I can provide your child with individualised strategies or communication aids which support your child to communicate with both familiar and unfamiliar communication partners. We’ll work together to find which communication methods work in different situations and how your child will use these to help their independence.

3. Being overwhelmed

Your child or young person may easily be overwhelmed which may contribute to behaviour changes. I’ll work with your family to understand what the behaviour means, looking at what happened before and what happened afterwards. We’ll not only look at the behaviour but at the environment as well. This can inform how you can support your child or young person in the future, to reduce sensory stimuli (if needed) and for them to feel emotionally regulated.

4. People avoid engaging with you

One of the hardest things as a parent is for others to avoid you. You see them crossing the street because they don’t know what to say to you. All you want is them to accept you, to maintain your identity as a person and not as a SEND parent. I can support you emotionally. I can give you advice on local support networks where you can find other parents in a similar situation.

We know the stresses that being a parent with a child with SEND comes with. Please know I am always here to support you, to find solutions so that when you’re next out and about. Your experience will be a little easier and you’ll feel less isolated.

Improve your child’s communication, confidence, reduce overwhelm and feel supported here.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • ·

    Rethinking the PECS Approach

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    I want to talk about some concerns of SLTs, parents and increasingly autistic adults who explain to us how this communication method did not really work so well and why.

    What is PECS in a nutshell:

    PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) is based on the idea of exchanging pictures in return for desired items. For more advanced users, it is used to communicate different functions such as emotions, comments, negations using the exchange of a sentence strip. It was founded on the principles of Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA).

    How does that look in practice?

    In my experience, having been trained in the approach myself, the overall aim is eventually for the child to spontaneously go and get their picture book (PECS book), open it, look through a range of pages to select the correct picture of what they want to have or say, then go and find their communication partner, and finally place that picture onto the communication partner’s outstretched palm to be rewarded with an item or with a response of some sort. Or the child selects a range of pictures to create a little sentence, such as: ‘the blue fish swims in the sea’, ‘the red bird flies in the sky’ or ‘I see a red bird’ for example. This can be part of a structured table top activity.

    The system follows a series of phases, starting from simple picture exchanges to eventually construction of sentences using symbols. PECS’s aim is to promote communication initiation and reduce frustration for those who struggle with speech.

    So far so good one might say, why not? Before I go into the various concerns, I would want to add my own working experience with PECS, and whilst it is my opinion, I would say I have NEVER seen a working PECS book being used spontaneously!

    My experience

    I have seen attempts of stages 1 and 2 done quite well, in schools, and where people knew that I was coming in “to have a look at how PECS is working with child X”. Yes, in those instances an effort was made of course to try and show me how it worked. I must add that have never been very impressed. I cannot recall it used for any other items than: biscuits/quavers/crisps/ raisins and bubbles/puzzle pieces or spinners.

    If we want to see a child trained to exchange for these items in a structured setting, i.e., the child sits at a little table with the adult sitting opposite enticing the child with one or other item, then yes that can be done successfully. I have seen children exchange 25 pictures with a crisp on it, for said crisp and they might have asked for another 25 of those crisps given half the chance. Yes. Good. But. I have yet to see a child go to their PECS book and go through all the motions that I mentioned above to get a crisp. In school they don’t need to: they know that crisps are only available when the PECS book is being practised. Otherwise, let’s be honest, it’s fruit at 10.30 am!

    So, they don’t get a spontaneous opportunity to ask for highly motivating items as that is not how school works, is it? ‘SIR! Can I have a crisp?’ At 10.02am, in the middle of maths? Didn’t think so… So in reality this does not get practised in my experience.

    A few concerns in no particular order:

    Limited Generalisation

    One issue often raised is the limited generalisation of skills learned through PECS. The structured nature of the program may result in a child only being able to communicate effectively within the specific contexts where they were taught to use the system (as I suggest above: crisps: yes, please let’s do the PECS for it). This limitation can pose challenges when trying to apply communication skills in new or unstructured/spontaneous situations.

    Lack of Spontaneity

    Critics suggest that PECS can sometimes lead to scripted and less spontaneous communication. This is also what I have observed. Since the method is designed to follow a structured progression, there is a concern that individuals might struggle to initiate communication outside of the established framework, potentially hindering their ability to engage in more natural interactions.

    Narrow range of communication functions being practised

    While PECS is quite successful in focusing on requesting and naming items, there are many other important communication functions, such as expressing emotions, asking questions, giving opinions or greetings for instance. We can argue that a communication core board where we have a whole range of different core words available lends itself much better to practising a range of communicative functions.

    The Pictures are movable

    They are attached to the book via Velcro. They are constantly being picked and exchanged and then returned to the book. This means that the pictures tend to be always in different places. This goes against the motor planning that takes place when one is learning a new skill: imagine you want to learn to touch type and the letters always move and are at different places? How can you be quick about finding a letter? You can never get to “automatic” with this type of approach.

    Communication is not taught via behavioural means

    Only if you say “banana” in the way that I dictate that you should will you get a piece of banana. Who does that? Nobody. Typically, child points to the counter where there is a banana and says: ‘ba’ or ‘ana’ and mother/carer will look over there and say ‘oh banana! You want a banana? Ok there you go have a piece.’ Or something like it. Mother will not say: ‘SAY BANANA or else you won’t get it.’ Child hears mum saying ‘Banana’ each time and with time will point and say ‘banana’ or ‘I want-a-nana’ or something. This is how communication is learned: through the adult modelling it cheerfully all day long and the child hearing it and then gradually copying it.

    One other gripe I personally have but I am reliably informed by all my parents that they share this about PECS:

    IT IS SO LABOUR INTENSIVE!

    There are 10, 50, 100’s of little pictures that first of all need laminating… then velcroing, then finding and replacing. As I said above, it’s a constant moveable feast for one, but also you LOSE them. Yep. You want to find the picture for “trampoline”. ‘Where is it? I saw it yesterday… We had it outside when we practised you asking for the trampoline. I am sure we put it back? Where is it??? Ok. We need to print off a new one.’

    It is also labour intensive for the first stage where you need to have TWO adults to ease the exchange (pick up and release of picture into the communication partner’s hand). Who has two adults available for what can be weeks until the child is able to pick up and release by themselves?

    YEP. So it’s really not for me you can tell! I much prefer Core boards (see my previous post on using one) or electronic speech generating AAC devices like GRID, or LAMP or TOUCHCHAT. These are all great to use and there is good support out there for introducing these.

    Finding a Balance

    While the concerns surrounding the PECS approach are valid, it’s fair to note that the method also has some merits. There is anecdotal evidence of many individuals who have successfully improved their communication skills and quality of life through PECS. But, finding a balance between using PECS as a stepping stone and ensuring the development of more comprehensive and SPONTANEOUS communication is key.

    As educators and therapists, we need to extend the focus beyond requesting and labelling by incorporating symbols that represent emotions, actions, and more complex ideas. This expansion encourages a broader range of communication functions. When the time is right, gradually transitioning from PECS to more advanced communication methods such as Core boards or electronic AAC tools and speech-generating devices is the way forward.

    We want to value all communication equally and our approach ought to be playful and child-led and to focus on intrinsic motivation instead of extrinsic rewards and reinforcers.

    If you have any questions or if you are looking for a therapist who endorses play-based and child-led therapy approaches, please do reach out.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • Speech sound disorders

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Kids Speech Therapist London
    Speech Sound Disorders

    Treatment Approaches – A Typical Session

    There are various great ways to treat speech sound disorders and I use all the approaches available selectively; I decide what works with each individual child and I also vary the approach depending on the child’s frame of mind at any given time during my session.

    Some of the approaches are more “drill-based” and require a child to be able to pay attention and really participate actively in the therapy, and this is what I am showing you today with this video clip.

    My little student here has been working with me for some time and from only saying a handful of words which were not very easy to understand he has come a long way. He does have some features of Verbal Dyspraxia which I shall briefly outline here:

    • Making sounds in general is a struggle, especially when asked to copy certain sounds, example: ‘can you say: a ee ou oo?”
    • Repeating sound sequences or words sequences is hard, for example: “say p-t-k in sequence” or “say fish chips fish chips fish chips
    • When saying the same word again and again, different mistakes can be heard
    • Intonation difficulties: speech sounds monotonous
    • Vocabulary is very limited

    Some therapy approaches are more play based, for example the Core Word method: here we pick a few words at a time which are very significant to the child and therefore highly motivating to try and say. These could be characters of Pokemon or Minecraft for example, or simple words like “GO!”

    When you watch the video you will see that I use a lot of visual prompting, such as showing him where the tongue is moving to or from. I do this with my index finger and this approach is called Tactile Cueing or “Cued Articulation”. Part of the approach is to give a visual prompt and then reduce the prompt as the learner is more able to produce the correct sounds. Once he can produce the sound on its own, we quickly move to the sound within a word.

    I do mix and match my approaches and in fact here I am drilling but I also use the Core Word which for him (YELLOW) — it’s his favourite colour and I happen to have quite a few good games where a YELLOW something or other can be asked for….. WHO KNEW!? 🙂

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

  • · ·

    Are the Gestalts I model easy to mix and match later on?

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Image by bearfotos on Freepik

    Here are some examples of great phrases and Gestalts that we could use:

    • Let’s get a banana / Let’s go out / Let’s play lego / Let’s go see daddy
    • That’s nice! / That’s really good! / That’s a green one / That’s a submarine
    • Need more help / Need a wee wee / Need that / Need to run
    • How about a biscuit / How about a cuddle / How about watching tv
    • We love bananas / We love a monkey / We love a cuddle

    Why or how could these examples be mixed and matched?

    You can see I have given several examples for each, that is how later a child can take one chunk (let’s) and add another (go out) or (need) + (go out).

    What about our own grammar? Should we be using grammatical phrases?

    In general for NLA 1 (Natural Language Acquisition stage 1) we want to use short phrases and keep them quite generic, something like:

    ‘Let’s go’ or ‘let’s play’ and pick 2-3 phrases per communicative function (see next point below).

    And if we are going to say longer sentences, for example: ‘let’s go and feed the ducks now’, then we should do so with good grammar and really varied intonation. It sometimes helps me to make up a little song/jingle on the spot that has a lot of intonation, more than I would perhaps use just by speaking.

    How many varied communicative functions do we cover with our modelling?

    We want to model a variety of Gestalts other than just requesting for example. In general, we are looking at our child having one or two Gestalts in the following areas before they are ready to move on into stage 2.

    These are the most common ones I see in my practice:

    • Requesting ‘want a banana/biscuit’ ‘Wanna play ball’
    • Transitioning: ‘what now?’ ‘what next?’
    • Ask for help: ‘need help’ ‘help me’ ‘mummy help’
    • Commenting: ‘it’s big’ ‘it’s red’ ‘it’s fast’ ‘too loud’
    • Speak up for self: ‘not that one’ ‘go now’ ‘stop it’

    Is the Gestalt I am modelling meaningful to my child?

    We don’t use all available Gestalts for every child. It has to be meaningful to the individual and has to match their interests. If our child is a big fan of feeding the ducks in the park then we can think about Gestalts like:

    • I see ducks!
    • They’re over there
    • Let’s feed them?
    • Let’s get some seeds
    • They’re coming!
    • They want food / They wanna eat!
    • That’s a big one
    • It’s so hungry
    • It loves the seeds!
    • No more! All done! Finished! Let’s go home

    What is my child actually trying to tell me?

    We have to be become word/phrase detectives! Is the phrase/script/Gestalt they are using right now actually meaning what they said or does it mean something else, and if so, what?

    Here is an example from my own personal experience in my practice:

    The little boy I was working/playing with was building a tall tower with blocks. When it finally fell with a great big bang he said in a sing-song voice ‘ring-a-ring-a roses’ … then he began to collect the blocks again to make a fresh tower. I sat there and thought: why ‘ring-a-ring-a roses’? What does that mean in this context? I then sang the song (silently) to myself with my detective hat on and realised as I came to the end that it finishes with ‘we all fall down’! it was a real AHA!!! moment for me as I saw right there what the meaning of his Gestalt was. He sang the first line of the song to say ‘all fall down!’

    So realising this I waited for the next tower to fall, and there it was again, he sang the first line of the song. I replied thus, copying him at first:

    ‘RING-A-RING-A ROSES – WE ALL FALL DOWN!…

    FALL DOWN

    WE LOVE IT FALLING DOWN.’

    The process to find what we should say is not always straight forward or easy at all, and often we don’t quite know in the moment what our child is trying to say. But we can try and get to know their interests and then gradually we do know more and more what the meaning behind the Gestalt is or could be.

    What pronouns should we use?

    This can be a tricky one.

    We don’t want to use language that uses the pronouns ‘you’ or ‘you’re’. The reason is that our child will likely copy us exactly as we have said it. Therefore, using pronouns ‘you’ and ‘you’re’ will then sound wrong.

    Always try to model language that is from the child’s perspective or in other words how they would say it if they could.

    Alternatively, you can model using WE or US. For example, if the child is tired, rather than saying ‘you are so tired’ model language from his or her point of view: ‘I’m tired’ or ‘let’s go have a lie down’.

    There is so much more to talk about. Stay tuned for a blog on NLA stage 2 coming soon.

    If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · · ·

    What to do when words don’t come fast enough

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    What to do when words don’t come fast enough

    When children find talking hard, parents often face a difficult question: ‘Should we wait and keep encouraging speech? Or introduce something like AAC?’

    AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) can sound intimidating, but it simply means any way we support or replace spoken words, from simple gestures and picture boards to high-tech speech-generating devices. Far from ‘giving up on speech,’ AAC often becomes the bridge that helps children find their voice, in whatever form that takes.

    💡 What is AAC, really?

    AAC is a spectrum of tools and strategies that help people express themselves when speaking is difficult. It might include:

    • Low-tech supports: Gestures, key word signs (like Makaton), picture symbols, or printed boards
    • High-tech systems: Apps on tablets that speak aloud when pictures or words are tapped

    AAC is not just for children who will never talk. It’s for anyone whose speech isn’t meeting their communication needs right now.

    🤔 When to introduce AAC

    There’s a common myth that you should only try AAC after ‘exhausting’ other speech therapy options. In fact, AAC can be introduced at any stage, even alongside speech development.

    Here are some helpful signs that AAC might support your child:

    • Your child understands much more than they can say.
    • They rely on gestures, sounds, or behaviour to communicate.
    • They become frustrated trying to express themselves.
    • You find yourself ‘reading their mind’ to interpret needs.
    • Speech progress feels slow or inconsistent.

    If you recognise these patterns, AAC isn’t a ‘last resort’. It’s a communication support, not a replacement for speech.

    Recent research consistently shows that AAC does not stop children from talking. In fact, it can encourage speech to develop. A 2024 systematic review and meta-analysis published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that children who received interventions combining naturalistic developmental behavioural approaches with aided AAC showed improved language outcomes, and that AAC ‘does not negatively impact speech development and may even facilitate spoken language growth’ (Smith et al., 2024).

    🌉 How AAC supports speech development

    Speech and AAC aren’t competing paths: they’re parallel tracks that often feed each other.

    Here’s how AAC helps speech grow:

    1. Reduces frustration: When a child can express their needs, they’re more relaxed and ready to learn.
    2. Provides a visual model: Seeing symbols or words while hearing spoken language strengthens understanding and word recall.
    3. Builds consistent language structure: AAC systems follow the same grammar and word order as speech, helping children internalise how sentences work.
    4. Encourages turn-taking and social connection: AAC lets children join conversations even before speech is fluent, giving them more practice in real communication.

    AAC is not ‘giving up on speech’. It’s giving a child more ways to succeed while speech continues to develop.

    🧩 How to introduce AAC gently and effectively

    1. Start small and meaningful: Begin with a few key messages your child wants to say, not just what adults want to hear. Think ‘I want’, ‘stop’, ‘help’, ‘more’, ‘all done’, ‘no’, ‘again’. These are powerful words for real interaction and autonomy.
    2. Model, model, model: The most important part of AAC success is modelling—using the system yourself as you talk. For example: ‘You want banana 🍌’ and you tap the ‘want’ and ‘banana’ symbols. Children need to see and hear AAC used naturally before they try it themselves.
    3. Use it throughout the day: AAC isn’t a therapy tool to take out once a week. It’s a living part of communication. Model a few words during mealtimes, play, and routines. The more consistently it’s embedded, the more fluent both you and your child will become.
    4. Keep it accessible: If using a device or picture board, make sure it’s always nearby. If it’s in a bag or drawer, it can’t be used in real moments.
    5. Celebrate all communication: If your child points, signs, uses a sound, or taps a symbol, it all counts. Respond warmly and naturally to reinforce communication in any form.

    🧠 What parents often worry about

    • ‘Won’t AAC stop them from talking?’: No. Research shows AAC use either has no negative effect on speech or leads to increased spoken output (Smith et al., 2024). When children feel understood, their motivation to communicate grows.
    • ‘What if I model it wrong?’: There’s no perfect way to start. Your effort and consistency matter far more than accuracy.
    • ‘Will they get ‘stuck’ using pictures?’:  Some children do continue using AAC long-term; others move naturally toward more spoken language. The goal is always functional communication, not replacing one form with another.

    🪞 Bringing AAC into daily life

    Here are a few simple, parent-friendly ideas:

    • Create visual spaces: Post symbols or core words on the fridge, mirror, or play area.
    • Narrate routines: Use AAC during toothbrushing, dressing, or mealtimes; consistent contexts build understanding.
    • Pair speech and touch: Always say the word aloud when you point to or tap a symbol.
    • Involve siblings and friends: Model how they can respond to AAC too. ‘Oh, you said go! Let’s go fast!’
    • Use shared books and songs: Pause and model key words in stories or songs.

    🌱 The takeaway

    AAC doesn’t mean giving up on speech; it means opening more doors to communication. When words don’t come easily, AAC gives children a way to connect, share, and be heard.

    It helps parents move from guessing to understanding, and gives children the power to express themselves on their own terms.

    If you’re unsure where to start, reach out to a speech and language therapist experienced in AAC. Together, you can find a system that fits your child’s strengths, build confidence in modelling, and help every word (spoken or tapped) feel like a step forward.

    And download and print my one page summary.

    Because when communication is possible, everything else begins to grow.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    📚 Reference

    Smith, K., et al. (2024). The Effect of Naturalistic Developmental Behavioral Interventions and Aided AAC on the Language Development of Children on the Autism Spectrum with Minimal Speech: A Systematic Review and Meta‑Analysis. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 55, 3078–3099. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-024-06382-7

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • ·

    Joint attention for children with autism

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Kids Speech Therapist London

    Why is joint engagement important for communication development?

    It has been well-documented that the development of joint attention is impaired in children who have social communication difficulties or autism. It is, in fact, this impairment which distinguishes children with ASD from children who have other developmental delays.

    A lack of joint attention in very young children is an early sign of autism as it is a signal that there is a disruption in the motivation to connect socially with others. Since this is a crucial element, I thought I would outline what we mean by Joint Attention as supported by the research undertaken at Hanen.org.

    In typically developing children, the ability to shift attention between a person and an object for the purposes of connecting socially or for requesting develops around the same time. However, for children with ASD, these components emerge one at a time and in a linear fashion. Children with ASD usually start with requesting something and later they may learn to share attention for social sharing. (see pattern below as a general guide).

    As with typical development, there is variation in the order that these skills emerge but the following patterns of development is commonly seen:

    • Reaching, taking adult’s arm/hand or pointing to ask for something — but without looking at the adult
    • Gradually alternating looking between person and object of desire
    • Then learning to follow the point of another — which is responding to joint attention initiated by another
    • Directing attention to share interests — without looking at the adult: pointing to a truck on the road/ helicopter circling above
    • Then directing attention to share interest by alternating gaze shift between person and object — here the child is now initiating joint attention.

    What is important to note is that in order to fulfil the criteria for true joint attention, the purpose of directing the attention of another person must be social in nature. In other words, it must not be exclusively to obtain a desirable object or event/action. True Joint Attention is seen verbally or non-verbally; we want to share a thought with another person and direct them to something we are interested or excited or spooked by.

    For example: we can see an amazing firework display in the distance and we want to quickly direct our friend’s attention to this. In order to do this we might be tugging their sleeve/arm whilst pointing to the display in the distance, and perhaps we might add “wow look over there!” We are doing so simply to share an interest without obtaining anything, we are just being social with each other. So True Joint Attention is not just looking at what we want to have, then look at the person who can get this for us and then point to the item. We can say that this is the precursor to true joint attention, which is purely social in nature.

    Because true joint attention is an essential precursor to typical language development, the absence of joint attention in children with ASD contributes to difficulties with language learning. Beuker, K., Rommelse, N., Donders, R. & Buitelaar, J. (2013).

    The Hanen programme for Parent Child Interaction teaches parents of children with Social Communication Difficulties step by step how to enable their children to learn to pay attention to an object and the parent at the same time.

    We learn how to enable a child to:

    • engage take turns
    • shift eye gaze between toy and adult
    • copy adult’s actions, gestures and then words
    • play with toys in different, new ways
    • interact and for longer periods of time
    • have fun whilst playing

    If you would like to know more about the Hanen programme please get in touch. I look forward to exploring the topic with you and help guide you forward if this is something your child is struggling with.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

  • ·

    Transforming Mealtimes

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Speech Therpaist in London

    Transforming Mealtimes

    Below are two reviews I got from grateful clients over the past 4-6 weeks; this blog is more about how Feeding Therapy can help you than blowing my own trumpet…. though that said, it is always so nice and gratifying to hear when parents are happy and hopeful about their little one’s feeding journey. Feeding Therapy is a substantial part of my work as a Children’s Speech and Language Therapist. One of my specialist subjects is Autism and we find that many children on the Autism Spectrum are very specific about eating, and will often refuse a range of typical family foods in favour of a narrow range of foods/snacks.

    Mostly, feeding difficulties are a combination and complex cocktail of factors that have contributed to the current status quo: sure, there may have been some physical problems to start off with, such as reflux causing the baby discomfort, constipation, a very tight tongue tie or a swallowing problem caused by neurological difficulties and of course sensory processing difficulties are also very physical experiences. We always begin with a very thorough case history taking and information gathering, followed by an oral assessment and observation of the actual swallow to establish what might have been – or still might be – the cause for the feeding difficulties.

    In most of the cases I see in my practice, the original obvious cause is no longer present, especially with older children. So, if the swallowing is fine, the reflux is no longer present, the tongue was divided (twice!) why are they still not eating much, refusing to try new foods, only accept certain textures etc.

    The answer is extremely complex and multi-faceted and this little blog is not covering any factors in detail (we would be here all night) -I mentioned sensory processing difficulties earlier on. These are mostly still present but often not acknowledged or recognised by parents. And it is certainly the case that one of the contributors is parental anxiety; this tends to run very high and has been for many months, sometimes years. This in turn often leads to very tense and unpleasant, endlessly long meal times and many times children are force-fed several times a day in order to “get something down there” as otherwise they would probably starve themselves.

    Additionally, parents end up only offering a very narrow range of foods because that is all their child will eat. This ends up in a vicious cycle of children being fed porridge-style food for all meal times and of course they won’t progress to more mature foods if these mature foods are never on offer.

    In order to help address and disentangle some of the issues I often introduce the “Division of Responsibility in Feeding” as researched and recommended by Ellyn Satter (The Satter Feeding Dynamics Model)

    Here are the main points of her approach:

    Children have a natural ability with eating, they eat as much as they need and they grow in the way that is right for them and they learn to eat what their parents eat. (E Satter). The parent is responsible for WHAT the child eats, WHERE and WHEN the child eats. The child is responsible for HOW MUCH they eat or WHETHER to eat. Satter proposes that parents should guide their child’s transition from nipple feeding through semi-solids, then thick and lumpy foods to finger foods and then on to normal family meals.

    Please note: this model is only appropriate for children where the original physical cause is no longer present!

    Of course it’s not easy! It requires a huge shift in thinking about feeding and it requires to trust our children to know what is best for them. This is very big for most parents, as it is not how we were brought up and it is not commonly known that babies and children know what is good for them!

    However, it is certainly true that parents who follow this particular approach and make small, steady changes in the way the offer foods, and in the way they create family meal times differently, children make very nice, pleasing progress and over some months we often see remarkable positive changes.

    I like to work in a team and especially for this type of problem it is essential to have a multi-disciplinary approach. A knowledgeable dietician is an enormous plus in any feeding team as is of course a

    Paediatrician and/ or a Gastroenterologist and the most important people in the team are the parents!

    Feeding Therapy is all about collaboration and a ‘team around the child” approach. When we have this in place and there is trust amongst the team members then we make fantastic progress.

    Do get in touch with me if you would like some help with your tricky feeder.

    Lovely Reviews

    I visited London Speech and Feeding a couple of days ago with my 8-month-old granddaughter and her mother. Sonja made us feel comfortable and at ease from our first introductions. She was able to pinpoint my granddaughter’s mum’s anxiety around weaning very quickly. She not only gave her the tools to do this successfully, but also really encouraged my granddaughter’s mum and instilled confidence that she had everything she needed to make this sometimes-difficult transition without further anxiety.

    Sonja was very thorough in her initial assessment of my granddaughter’s physical milestones and her developing speech. My granddaughter felt very comfortable with Sonja and happily played along with her. Then came the big moment – trying out various foods! We were amazed to see just how easily my granddaughter, with Sonja’s expert encouragement, took to sampling the wonderful array of different delicious morsels Sonja had prepared for the session. My granddaughter even drank from a cup for the first time! Wonderful!

    Sonja then emailed a summary of the session and an extensive array of resources with suggestions for my granddaughter’s mum which she has now put into action. My granddaughter’s mum couldn’t thank Sonja enough for her caring attitude, extensive knowledge, and warm professionalism. I have no hesitation in recommending Sonja, she’s a fantastic Feeding Therapist!

    –

    Sonja (and her lovely colleague, Sandra) were stupendous. I had brought my one-year-old son to see them as I was concerned that he wasn’t eating enough. They looked at his history and we ate together to make sure they had all the information they needed to give an accurate diagnosis. Whilst our outcome was that Henry was in fact doing brilliantly (and I just needed to chill out a bit!), I would imagine if there was something more serious going on, Sonja would make you feel just as supported and empowered as she did with us. Excellent follow-ups too. Money well spent for a bit of reassurance for a stressed out mama. Thank you, Sonja!

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.