Four struggles parents face when out and about with children with speech, language, and communication difficulties

ByLondon Speech and Feeding
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A man and a woman hug a young girl at a table
Hug

You (as parents) often describe yourselves as being under constant pressure and stress when looking after your children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). You may find going out to do the simplest of tasks a challenge. And you will try to avoid social situations out of fear and anxiety. One of the most important factors to you is having like-minded people who understand your position as a parent with a young person with additional needs. Let’s look at some of the challenges you face and how I can support you and your family.

1. Challenging behaviour and going out to the shops

When your child displays challenging behaviour and won’t go into a shop without buying a toy that they insist on having, it can be tough on your family. You see people around you staring as you try to manage the situation. They do not understand the pressures you face, or that the simplest of tasks are a huge challenge.

I can support you by giving strategies to use when out and about. I know that using visuals is important for your child. They may not understand or take in language when they are in a heightened state of anxiety or feeling overwhelmed. You could print pictures of the places you’re going to and put them on an easily accessible chain. Then you could use that chain when out and about at the shops. You may want to introduce a visual timetable at home. That way your child or young person understands where they are going. This may lessen their anxiety and subsequent behaviour.

2. Your child is not able to communicate their needs to an unfamiliar communication partner

When your child has difficulty communicating to an unfamiliar person it can be hard to manage. You feel yourself explaining your situation repeatedly. I can provide your child with individualised strategies or communication aids which support your child to communicate with both familiar and unfamiliar communication partners. We’ll work together to find which communication methods work in different situations and how your child will use these to help their independence.

3. Being overwhelmed

Your child or young person may easily be overwhelmed which may contribute to behaviour changes. I’ll work with your family to understand what the behaviour means, looking at what happened before and what happened afterwards. We’ll not only look at the behaviour but at the environment as well. This can inform how you can support your child or young person in the future, to reduce sensory stimuli (if needed) and for them to feel emotionally regulated.

4. People avoid engaging with you

One of the hardest things as a parent is for others to avoid you. You see them crossing the street because they don’t know what to say to you. All you want is them to accept you, to maintain your identity as a person and not as a SEND parent. I can support you emotionally. I can give you advice on local support networks where you can find other parents in a similar situation.

We know the stresses that being a parent with a child with SEND comes with. Please know I am always here to support you, to find solutions so that when you’re next out and about. Your experience will be a little easier and you’ll feel less isolated.

Improve your child’s communication, confidence, reduce overwhelm and feel supported here.

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    When AAC modelling doesn’t feel natural yet: Helping parents learn to use their chosen AAC system

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    One of the most common pieces of advice parents hear when their child starts using AAC is: ‘Just model the words naturally.’

    And, yes, natural modelling is an important part of AAC support.

    But there is something we don’t always talk about: How on earth is a parent supposed to model a word naturally when they are still trying to work out where the word is themselves?

    Using a robust AAC system such as LAMP Words for Life can feel a little like learning a new language.

    The parent is learning the language at the same time as the child they are hoping to teach it to.

    So, although I absolutely want AAC to become part of everyday life, I often begin with something much more structured.

    And I have found that this can make the transition to natural, everyday modelling much easier for families.

    Learning the system first

    In my first video clip, I am using a very simple farm animal sticker activity with LAMP Words for Life.

    The activity gives us the opportunity to practise some useful, functional words:

    • OFF: taking the sticker off
    • FARM ANIMALS: finding the animal category
    • HORSE
    • SHEEP
    • CHICK
    • ON: putting the sticker onto the book

    At first, I am quite explicit about what I am doing.

    I might draw attention to the relevant button, help the child navigate to it, talk through what we are looking for and practise finding the word several times.

    This is more didactic and structured than the idealised picture some people have of AAC modelling.

    And I am completely comfortable with that at the beginning.

    Why start so explicitly?

    Imagine that you are given a brand-new device containing hundreds or thousands of words.

    Someone tells you: ‘Don’t worry. Just use it naturally.’

    You might manage to find a few obvious words.

    But when you are suddenly standing in the kitchen taking your child’s coat off and want to say ‘OFFS, you may have absolutely no idea where to look.

    That is exactly why I think parents sometimes need permission to learn the system in a supported way.

    The structured activity creates a safe environment where we can stop and think:

    • Where is that word?
    • How do I get there?
    • What does this word do?
    • What happens when I press it?

    We can practise it more than once.

    We can repeat it.

    And gradually, the route to that word becomes familiar.

    AAC systems are not simply devices that children need to learn. Communication partners need to learn them too. All the AAC research highlights partner training as an important part of AAC intervention and notes that intervention initially includes helping the individual and their family or carers develop operational competence with the system.

    From structured practice to everyday life

    And this is where the useful transfer can happen.

    Take the word OFF.

    In our sticker activity, we may practise:

    ‘OFFS

    ‘OFFS

    ‘OFF’

    We take the sticker off.

    We find the button again.

    We use the word again.

    After several opportunities, the parent has not only seen their child use the word, the parent now knows where the word lives too.

    Then later that day, they are taking their child’s coat off.

    Suddenly:

    ‘OFF!’

    And they know exactly where to find it.

    The same thing might happen with ON.

    Once the parent has practised finding ON several times during play, it becomes much easier to spot opportunities for it during the day:

    ‘Shoes ON.’

    ‘Lights ON.’

    ‘Music ON.’

    ‘Hat ON.’

    ‘Tap ON.’

    This is one of the reasons I like structured AAC activities. They are not necessarily the final goal.

    They can be the rehearsal space that gives parents and children enough confidence to use AAC in real life.

    Natural modelling is still the goal

    This doesn’t mean that I want parents spending their whole day sitting beside their child and directing them towards buttons.

    Quite the opposite.

    The aim is to gradually move towards a much more natural style of AAC use.

    Once parents know their way around the system, they can begin to model words spontaneously as they occur in everyday interactions.

    Research into aided AAC modelling describes adults using AAC alongside speech within meaningful activities, and evidence supports the use of aided input as part of AAC intervention.

    But getting there may take teaching, repetition, practice and coaching.

    And that’s okay.

    It is not about making the child press the button

    There is another important distinction here.

    When I say that I may initially be more explicit or ‘direct’ during an activity, I do not mean that I am trying to make a child perform the correct response.

    I am not interested in turning AAC into a test.

    I am not continually asking:

    ‘Where’s HORSE?’

    ‘Find SHEEP.’

    ‘Show me CHICK.’

    Instead, I am helping the child and parent become familiar with the system.

    I might point, gesture, navigate, model the word and repeat it within a meaningful activity.

    As confidence grows, the support can be reduced so that the child has increasing opportunity to locate and use the language themselves.

    My second video clip shows a child using their own LAMP Words for Life system at home, accessing a category they have chosen which is FOOD.

    This is what I love about AAC.

    The device isn’t just being used in the therapy room.

    It becomes part of the child’s own life.

    And the child is using it around their own interests and choices.

    That is the direction I want families to move towards:

    From ‘I don’t know where anything is!’ to ‘I know where some useful words are.’

    Then ‘I can use those words during our everyday routines.’

    And eventually: ‘This is my communication system, and I can use it to tell you what I think, want, notice, enjoy, reject and choose.’

    Parents don’t have to get it perfect

    This is perhaps the biggest message I would like parents to take away.

    You do not have to become an AAC expert overnight.

    You are learning too.

    It is completely reasonable for a parent to need time to become familiar with the layout, vocabulary and navigation of their child’s system.

    Learn it. Practise it. Model it. Then take it into real life.

    Any questions please contact me via my contact form.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · ·

    From ‘Nailed it!’ in therapy to ‘Whoops!’ at home: Why generalising speech sounds is tricky

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    As a parent, you’ve likely experienced the triumphant feeling when your child, who’s been working so hard on his or her /S/ sound, produces it perfectly in a therapy session. He or she is rocking those ‘sun’ and ‘socks’ words, his or her lisp seemingly a distant memory. You leave feeling elated, confident that all that hard work is finally paying off.

    Then you get home. And within minutes, you hear it: ‘Thooper!’ instead of ‘Super!’ Or maybe the clear /R/ in ‘rabbit’ from therapy reverts to a ‘wabbit’ when his or she is playing with his or her toys. It’s frustrating, confusing, and can feel like you’re back to square one.

    So, what’s going on? Why is it so difficult for children to take those amazing skills learned in a focused therapy session and seamlessly apply them to their everyday conversations? You’re not alone in wondering this. It’s a common challenge in speech therapy and understanding the ‘why’ can help both parents and children navigate this crucial stage.

    The brain’s habits: Old pathways are strong pathways

    Think of your child’s brain as having established ‘pathways’ for how he or she produces certain sounds. If he or she has been lisping his or her /S/ sound for years, that neural pathway is deeply ingrained. It’s like a well-worn path through a field: easy to follow because it’s always been there.

    In therapy, we’re essentially trying to forge a new path. We’re teaching him or her a new, more accurate way to make the sound. This new path is initially faint, like a barely visible trail. It takes conscious effort and repeated practice to strengthen it. Outside of the structured therapy environment, his or her brain often defaults to the old, comfortable, and well-established pathway, even if it’s not the most accurate.

    The demands of daily conversation: A multitasking challenge

    Therapy sessions are designed to be focused and controlled. We isolate sounds, practice them in specific words, and provide immediate feedback. There are minimal distractions, and your child’s full attention is on his or her speech production.

    Now, consider daily conversation:

    • Speed: We speak much faster in natural conversation than we do during structured practice. There is less time to think about individual sounds.
    • Cognitive load: Children are simultaneously thinking about what they want to say, understanding what others are saying, processing social cues, and managing their emotions. Adding the conscious effort of producing a new speech sound correctly on top of all that is a huge cognitive demand.
    • Variety of contexts: In therapy, we might practise ‘sun’ and ‘socks’. In real life, the /S/ sound appears in countless words, in different positions within words, and alongside a vast array of other sounds. Each new word and phonetic context present a fresh challenge.
    • Lack of immediate feedback: In therapy, the speech therapist is right there to provide instant correction and reinforcement. In a playground, during a family dinner, or while playing with friends, that immediate, consistent feedback isn’t present.

    The role of automaticity: Making it second nature

    The ultimate goal of speech therapy isn’t just correct sound production; it’s automaticity. This means producing the sound correctly without having to consciously think about it. It’s like learning to ride a bike. Initially, every pedal stroke and steering adjustment is deliberate. Eventually, it becomes second nature.

    Generalisation is the process of moving from conscious, controlled production to unconscious, automatic production. This takes time, consistent practice, and exposure to a wide variety of real-life speaking situations.

    How can we help? Bridging the gap

    So, what can parents do to help their children bridge this gap between therapy success and everyday speech?

    1. Be patient and positive: This is a marathon, not a sprint. Celebrate the small victories and avoid getting discouraged by setbacks. Your positive reinforcement is crucial.
    2. Practise little and often: Instead of long, infrequent practice sessions, aim for short, consistent bursts throughout the day. ‘Sprinkle’ in opportunities to practise their target sounds in natural conversations.
    3. Create ‘sound awareness’ moments: Gently draw your child’s attention to his or her target sounds in everyday words. For example, if he or she is working on /R/, you might say, ‘Oh, you said ‘wabbit.’ Can you try to make your /RRR/ sound for ‘rabbit’?’
    4. Model correct production: Continue to model the correct production of their target sounds in your own speech.
    5. Collaborate with your speech therapist: Your therapist is your best resource! Ask them for specific strategies and activities you can do at home to support generalisation. They can also provide guidance on when and how to gently correct your child.

    Tips and tricks

    Below I have listed a few good tips and tricks that can help the transition from therapy room to daily life:

    Empowering your child as the ‘sound detective’:

    • ‘Secret sound listener’: Instead of you doing the correcting, make your child the detective. When you’re having a conversation, say ‘your /S/ sounds are sometimes a bit “slippery”’ (or whatever fun, non-judgmental term you like). Ask your child to quietly listen for your /S/ sounds. You can even purposely make a few ‘slippery’ ones (or correct yourself immediately after) and see if they notice. This shifts the focus from being corrected to actively listening and identifying the sound in a non-threatening way.
    • ‘Sound scorecard’: For a short period (maybe 10–15 minutes during a specific activity, like dinner or a game), provide a small notepad and pencil. Explain that your child is going to listen for his or her /S/ sounds and gently mark a tally every time he or she uses it correctly. The goal isn’t perfection, but awareness. This gives your child agency and a visual representation of progress. You can even make it a game: ‘Let’s see how many /S/ sounds we can catch in five minutes!’
    • /S/ sound song/rhyme creation: Work together to create silly songs or rhymes that are packed with /S/ sounds. The sillier, the better! You can sing them in the car, while doing chores, etc.
    • /S/ sound superpower: Frame the new sound skill as a ‘superpower’. ‘You’re getting so good at using your /S/ superpower! It’s going to help you speak so clearly and confidently.’
    • Highlighting successes: Always go out of your way to acknowledge and praise successful /S/ productions in natural conversation. ‘I really understood you clearly when you said ”s_top”.’ or ‘That /S/ sound was perfect when you told me about the “s_tory”!’

    Important considerations:

    • Keep it low-pressure: The goal is generalisation, not perfection. If your child is feeling pressured, he or she will likely revert to old patterns.
    • Focus on awareness, not just correction: Help your child become aware of his or her own speech rather than relying on you for corrections.
    • Short, frequent bursts: A few minutes of subtle focus multiple times a day is more effective than one long, forced session.
    • Acknowledge feelings: If your child expresses frustration about ‘being corrected’, validate these feelings. ‘I understand it can feel like a lot of listening, but we’re just trying to help you use that super /S/ sound all the time!’

    By incorporating these strategies, you can help your child naturally integrate the new /S/ sound into daily speech, fostering independence and confidence without it feeling like constant ‘testing’ or ‘correction’. Generalising new speech sounds is arguably the hardest part of speech therapy, but it’s also the most rewarding. With patience, consistent effort, and a collaborative approach between parents and therapists, children can successfully integrate their new, clearer speech sounds into every aspect of their daily lives.

    Any comments or if you need help and support with your child’s speech please do not hesitate to get in touch with me: simply fill out the contact form here on the website. I endeavour to reply within 48 hours.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
  • · ·

    Strategies to support children with eating difficulties

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    where the cause is NOT a swallowing problem, but we are having a “fussy eater” in the family, seeming for no obvious reason

    When parents have a child who find mealtimes or eating difficult, it can put pressure on the whole family dynamics. Once we have observed a child’s eating and drinking skills and found that they are not swallowing impaired, but are for want of a better word “fussy” or “picky”, we can then start to look at what might be underpinning the food aversions/picky eating/food avoidance. Two of the main questions parents have (of course) are:

    • ‘is my child getting the right nutrition?’
    • ‘how can I have less anxiety-provoking and stressful mealtimes?’

    We all tend to have an image in our minds about the ‘perfect mealtime’, and how mealtimes ‘should’ be. Speech and Language Therapists with a Feeding Specialism are the perfect professionals to help you unpick feeding issues. We are trained to look at swallowing and oral skills and we also know a lot about feeding behaviours and sensory difficulties which could be causing your child’s eating avoidance.

    Here are some strategies that can support children with their eating:

    1. Create and maintain a mealtime culture that suits your home and lifestyle. Then stick to that. We all need some routine in our lives to thrive. Mealtimes are no different. It might be that you eat in the same place for every meal, with the same knives and forks, concentrating on maintaining good posture. Children learn by repetition so the more familiar it is, the easier they will find it. In the physical sense, our bodies also need preparing for food, regardless of whether we are eating with our mouths or we are tube-fed. We want every child to connect all the dots of the process. It starts with their eyes, noses, expectations, memories of past experiences, feelings and then finally their mouths….
    2. Be an excellent role model. Children learn through watching others, so your child will be observing you without you knowing. Ensure that you are positive about the food you are all eating, and talk about how delicious, tasty, juicy, and yummy the foods are. Make the atmosphere around the dinner table light hearted. Even though you are secretly stressed about your child not eating, try and not show this. Instead pick a topic or put on some nice music, or talk about something your child might be interested in, and try and avoid coercing your child to eat. Leave small finger foods on their plates and have a range of foods available on the table so that your child can see that everyone is eating a range of foods and enjoying them.
    3. Use positive reinforcement. Try and think of mealtimes as fun and motivating. Children who are happy will likely be more inclined to try foods and take part in family mealtimes. Reward all interactions around food, so if your child merely touches a new food then praise this behaviour. Or if your child licks a food just once, again make a nice comment and praise your child for touching and licking the food. The takeaway here is to try and keep all messages positive around food.
    4. Keep offering all types of food. What often happens is that parents stop serving foods they know will not be eaten. This makes sense in a way; we don’t want wastage! However, try and keep the doors open and re-offer all types of foods, even the ones that your child has not wanted in the past. Try and give your child one food they will like and one food they have tasted before and liked before, even a little, and then one new food to try. So, your child always has something to fall back on and they can join in with eating. But they can also try (or at least look at and think about trying) other foods that you and perhaps the siblings are eating.

    Take a look at this website, I find it very helpful in showing parents what types of foods and how big a portion to offer

    Have a go and try and implement some of the ideas above, and should you get stuck please get in touch!

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · ·

    AAC Systems and Speech and Language Development

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    Introduction

    I see a lot of minimally speaking or non-verbal children in my practice. Some children are autistic and others are severely challenged with motor planning and some are both. Some children are simply delayed in their spoken language for reasons that we don’t quite know yet.

    Regardless of the causes, what is always apparent pretty quickly is that apart from the odd gestures or Makaton signs (mainly ‘more” ‘finished’ and “biscuit) we don’t have a robust alternative for speech in place. Instead, what we often have is a child with lots of frustration and tantrums and some behaviours we really don’t want like: hitting, biting, pushing, grabbing and often throwing… There are others, too many to mention, but we don’t enjoy watching our children in these states. And we are often fearful of what might happen next if we don’t find a way to calm our child.

    Fear not

    In my work, before I get to offer an alternative means of communication, I often have to work with a fair amount of resistance on the parents’ side as parents tend to feel that allowing such a system into their lives will prevent their child from speaking. They fear that their child will so enjoy pressing those buttons that they will become lazy and not talk at all.

    I totally get it!

    Parents often feel overwhelmed by the task of getting their own heads round how to use AAC, either in paper form or a computerised system. This can be a great turn-off for lots of people who feel they are not very “techy” – like myself actually! Indeed, it is true to say that I resisted operating in this field for a long time as I didn’t feel able to navigate electronic devices. But fear not. Truly, most systems are very user-friendly. The support is great. And I have managed to become quite proficient in one or two of these systems, through using it daily. It really is as simple as that.

    Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC)

    There is plenty of research on the efficacy of Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC). It is now very well understood and proven that, once we introduce our child to a good, attractive way of communicating that they can actually do, in time children who can speak will speak. Speaking is more effective than any AAC system. It is more versatile, more fun, and when human beings have discovered how to speak, most will do so in favour of any other system.

    Many children and adults, for many reasons, were never going to speak an awful lot, or with great difficulty. Or they were not going to like to speak. Or they were going to like to speak some times but not other times… And for all those people an AAC system is invaluable and a wonderful resource.

    Neuro-diversity affirming means that we do not impose one system of communication on our children (speaking with our mouth) only because it is the one we are using and most people we know too.

    Of course, we want the best for our children, and we want them to have the easiest and most straight forward existence on Earth. Of course we do. Speaking with our mouth does help with that. But we must come to understand that not all children and people feel like that and they struggle to use their mouth for talking.

    Personal experience

    I have difficulties understanding this myself, I will be very honest here. And I will say that – shoot me down in flames SLT fraternity – but I am learning to accept that using an AAC system proficiently is a very good alternative for when speech is not coming. I am learning to accept that some people are perfectly able to speak, and might do so but not always and only when conditions are right. I came into the profession as a speech therapist with the idea that I would help anybody that came to me to speak with their mouth. But I have changed my stance on that and now am happy to help anybody that comes to me to communicate most effectively with whatever works for them. I will always try for speech if I can … Just because it’s easiest!

    Acceptance

    Now I will equally celebrate a child pointing to a symbol or making a sign for something. It is a fantastic moment when it happens for the parents and me and the child! And we can always hope for more speech to come as we go. Nothing wrong with our aspirations, is there?

    The basic premise is this: accept any mode of communication as valid, as long as your communication partner understands what it means. Don’t require individuals to repeat themselves in another modality. Do model the response in the modality you are trying to teach. So, a child can point to a symbol and I will respond with speaking (with my mouth) but I will also respond by pointing to a symbol because that way I am signalling that both are ok and that I have understood and am encouraging the person to say some more.

    Here is some research;

    Binger, C., Berens, J., Kent-Walsh, J., & Taylor, S. (2008) The effects of aided AAC interventions on AAC use, speech and symbolic gestures. Seminars in Speech and Language, 29, 101-111.

    Sennott, S.C., Light, J., & McNaughton, D. (2016). AAC modelling intervention research review. Research and Practice for Persons with Severe Disabilities, 41, 101–15.

    Dada, S., & Alant, E. (2009). The effect of aided language stimulation on vocabulary acquisition in children with little or no functional speech. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 18, 50–64.

    Contact me if you would like your child to have neurodiversity affirming speech and language therapy.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Why tongue lateralisation matters: The hidden feeding skill that every toddler needs

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    When parents think about feeding milestones, they often focus on what their child is eating. Are they accepting lumps? Will they eat vegetables? Are they managing finger foods?

    However, one of the most important skills happening behind the scenes is something many parents have never heard of: tongue lateralisation.

    Tongue lateralisation simply means the tongue’s ability to move from side to side inside the mouth. Although this sounds like a small movement, it is one of the key building blocks for safe chewing, efficient eating and later speech development.

    As a Speech and Language Therapist specialising in infant feeding, I frequently assess children who have delayed or absent tongue lateralisation. The encouraging news is that this skill can often be developed. But like many areas of development, there is an optimal window during which children learn it most naturally.

    What does the tongue actually do during eating?

    Eating is an incredibly complex process involving the lips, jaw, cheeks, tongue and swallowing muscles all working together.

    For mature chewing, the tongue needs to:

    • move food from the centre of the mouth onto the back gums and molars
    • keep the food positioned while the jaw chews
    • collect scattered pieces of food from around the mouth
    • reform the chewed food into a single cohesive bolus
    • move that bolus safely to the middle of the tongue before swallowing.

    Without good tongue lateralisation, food often stays in the middle or front of the mouth where it cannot be chewed effectively.

    Children may compensate by:

    • swallowing pieces whole
    • mashing food with the front teeth only
    • relying on sucking instead of chewing
    • holding food in their cheeks
    • gagging frequently
    • refusing more challenging textures altogether.

    These children are often described as ‘fussy eaters’, when in reality they may simply lack the oral motor skills needed to manage more advanced textures comfortably.

    When should tongue lateralisation develop?

    Tongue lateralisation begins to emerge during the second half of the first year of life as babies start exploring textured foods.

    Between approximately 6 and 12 months, babies naturally begin learning to move food sideways towards their gums for early chewing. As molars develop during the second year, these movements become more refined and efficient.

    This period represents an important developmental window because babies are biologically programmed to experiment with increasingly varied textures. Repeated opportunities to chew different foods strengthen the tongue, jaw and cheek muscles while building the complex movement patterns needed for mature eating.

    If a child remains on smooth purées or very soft foods for too long, they may miss hundreds of opportunities to practise these essential movements.

    Why does this developmental window matter?

    Like learning to crawl, walk or ride a bicycle, oral motor skills develop through repeated practice.

    Children who do not experience enough chewing opportunities during infancy can sometimes continue to rely on immature sucking and munching patterns well into toddlerhood.

    This does not mean the opportunity is completely lost after infancy. Many toddlers can still learn tongue lateralisation successfully with the right support. However, the longer an immature pattern is used, the more established it becomes, making change more challenging.

    That is why early assessment is so valuable.

    Signs your toddler may have poor tongue lateralisation

    You may notice your child:

    • chews mainly with the front teeth
    • bites but does not chew efficiently
    • keeps food in the centre of the mouth
    • pockets food in the cheeks
    • frequently spits out textured foods
    • gags on lumps
    • prefers soft foods
    • swallows before food has been adequately chewed
    • takes a very long time to finish meals.

    Not every child showing these signs has an oral motor difficulty, but they do warrant further assessment.

    How can we encourage tongue lateralisation?

    The good news is that the tongue learns through experience.

    One of the best ways to encourage side-to-side movement is by offering long, resistive foods that naturally encourage the tongue to move food towards the side gums for chewing. We also call them sometimes HARD MUNCHABLES – they look like on the following image.

    Hard munchablers

    Examples include:

    • mango pits with most of the flesh removed
    • pineapple core strips
    • thick steak strips
    • cooked pork strips
    • peeled celery sticks
    • thick cucumber spears
    • roasted pepper strips
    • corn on the cob cut into manageable rounds
    • dehydrated apple rings
    • large clean cooked rib bones with a little meat remaining for supervised chewing practice.

    These foods are not intended for children to consume large pieces quickly. Instead, they provide resistance that encourages the jaw, cheeks and tongue to work together while giving valuable sensory feedback.

    A simple technique that can help

    Some toddlers struggle because they never naturally move food to the side of their mouths.

    In these cases, placing a long strip of food gently onto the side gums can sometimes trigger the chewing pattern automatically. This gives the tongue an opportunity to experience where chewing should occur.

    This should always be done calmly, with the child sitting upright and under close adult supervision.

    Every child develops differently

    Some children are more likely to experience delayed tongue lateralisation than others.

    This may include children who:

    • remained on purées for an extended period
    • have developmental delays
    • have low muscle tone
    • were born prematurely
    • have significant sensory processing differences
    • have experienced prolonged tube feeding or medical conditions affecting feeding.

    A feeding assessment can identify whether tongue movement, jaw stability, sensory processing or another factor is contributing to the difficulty.

    Early intervention makes a difference

    One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is:

    ‘They’ll grow out of it.’

    Some children do. Others don’t.

    Without intervention, inefficient chewing patterns can persist for years, affecting food variety, mealtime confidence and nutritional intake. In some cases, immature oral motor patterns may also contribute to unclear speech production later on, although feeding and speech skills do not always develop at the same rate.

    The earlier we identify a problem, the easier it usually is to help children develop more mature, efficient chewing patterns.

    Final thoughts

    Tongue lateralisation may not be a term many parents recognise, but it is one of the foundations of successful feeding.

    By offering opportunities to chew a variety of safe textures during infancy, parents help build the complex tongue movements needed for efficient eating throughout childhood.

    If your toddler still struggles with chewing, gags on textured foods, or seems unable to move food around their mouth, don’t simply wait and hope they will outgrow it. A comprehensive feeding assessment can identify exactly where the difficulty lies and provide practical strategies tailored to your child’s needs.

    Sometimes a few small changes at the right time can make a lifetime of difference. Do get in touch with me. I would love to hear from you and help your little one develop good chewing skills and eating habits.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • ·

    Let’s relax about making EYE CONTACT already…

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    There’s been a long tradition with teaching staff and with Speech and Language Therapists working in schools that eye contact should be a goal. It is well known that Autistic individuals (whether that be children or adults) mostly avoid eye contact. Whilst it’s part of the way we communicate, it shouldn’t be used as a necessity for an individual who feels that it is uncomfortable. Whilst it does show that you’re listening and showing an interest, it’s not a fair expectation for neurodiverse children.

    Autistic children can find making and maintaining eye contact physically and emotionally uncomfortable as well as unnatural. It adds an extra layer of stress and has been reported to increase distractions rather than reduce them. Children who engage in conversations in their own way (i.e., with reduced eye contact) are not shown to suffer with schooling, work, or social interaction.

    By having fun through meaningful activities, I often experience that ‘BINGO’ moment (a phrase coined by Alex @meaningfulspeech) where the child is enjoying themselves and naturally makes eye contact. There is no demand on them, they are in a fun, engaging environment which suit their strengths and supports their needs.

    Following this, I often reflect on this question ‘Should we make eye contact as a goal?’

    It very much depends on the situation. If it places more demands on the child and becomes stressful. Then no. There are many strategies we can use which gain eye contact without placing extra demands on the child. We need to be mindful to adapt the environment and not place neurotypical expectations to meet the needs of neurodiverse children.

    How can you encourage eye contact without demand?

    • If you’re using toys, try holding them up to your eye level.
    • You can adjust your position, try sitting face to face during play.
    • Always get down to your child’s level. This might mean that you lay on the floor if your child is positioned in this way.
    • During play, waiting is extremely powerful. Before a key part of the activity, wait and see if your child looks at you. Remember silence is golden!
    • The best way I find is: do something unusual during play. It might be that you spray shaving foam with the lid still on. Or you bring out a wow toy and make it spin/light up or make a noise. A balloon can be good – see video clip. Use the excitement of the activity, and wait to see if you achieve that ‘BINGO’ moment.
    • Create opportunities when there are no toys involved such as during ‘tickles’ or ‘hide and seek’. Autistic children find it difficult to shift their attention between a toy and an adult. So by removing one option, you’re setting them up to succeed.

    Remember, it takes practice and time for you to develop these skills. Try one at a time and experiment, see which works best for your child. If you need speech, language or communication support or advice, I am always here to help.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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