How do we play with our Gestalt Language Processors?

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Child-led therapy

When working with Gestalt Language Processors, it is always advisable to use child-led therapy. What does that mean? Child led therapy involves following a child’s interests and allowing her/him to lead the play activity throughout the speech and language therapy session. In other words, instead of having my own ideas of what we might want to play with or what activities I might try and use, I provide a range of toys I know the child likes or has played well with before; then I wait for the child to pick what she/he enjoys doing.

Play can be very repetitive and we can often see our child cycling back to the same one or two toys throughout the session. But this is what she/he needs to do at that time and it means that we have focused attention and engagement. This in turn is very helpful for the therapeutic process, which is to offer great scripts and phrases/words alongside what she/he is playing with.

Monotropic minds

Often the mind of autistic children is more strongly pulled towards a smaller number of interests or hobbies as I like to call them. Dr Dinah Murray, Dr Winn Lawson and Mike Lesser have found in 2005 that autistic people have ‘monotropic’ minds. They explain that autistic children focus their energy on a narrow range of activities as the energy required to switch between several toys is much higher than we would see in the neuro-typical population.

Gestalt Language Processors are often also Gestalt Cognitive Processors. This is when experiences are retained as episodic events and memories. An event is remembered by specific parts of the same event. And, therefore, these specific parts should always be part of that event, when the event is repeated.

Should any of the specifics be changed or are missing, then this can cause great upset to Gestalt Cognitive Processors. So, for example, if the last two times in speech therapy we had the train set out and this was played with happily, then this becomes a specific part of the whole session. If, I then don’t offer the train set the third time a child comes to see me, this could be very upsetting.

This is why I tend to try this out and see what happens. Usually in the 3rd or 4th session: I might not bring out the car run that has hitherto been super successful to see if we are able to transition well to other toys. If yes, then we can have new experiences but if not then I will re-offer the car run/or whatever toy pretty quickly so as not to cause complete dysregulation.

A few pointers below which help with child-led play:

Introduce a few new toys and see what happens

Parents are encouraged to bring some familiar toys their child likes to the session. We can then introduce a couple of different toys to see how we go. Try offering a new toy alongside the familiar one; try offering new toys without the familiar one present, but be prepared to re-offer the “old” toy should our child get upset.

Rotate toys and don’t offer out too many toys

I find that children can get overwhelmed and overstimulated by too many items out all at once. I always talk to parents about toy rotation at home and I encourage storage and ‘tidy up’ of toys so that we can increase attention focus, and also maintain freshness and new interest in older toys.

Some children are not yet ready to play with toys

Here I suggest people games: these are games where the adult becomes part of a more motor-based activity. Some call it ‘rough and tumble play’ but it can be nursery rhymes such as sleeping bunnies/row row the boat or peek-a-boo for the younger ones.

Copy/Imitation is so important – try getting two identical or similar play items

When we are copying our child, it is often not desirable to ‘take turns’ with their toys/blogs/cars etc as our child may not be ready to let us take a turn. Instead, if we have the exact same toy that our child is having then we can play alongside our child and copy them perfectly without interrupting their play.

References:

Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism9(2), 139-156.

If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.


Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Unlocking communication: My daily life with the Saltillo 88 Core Board

    Introduction

    As an AAC speech and language therapist who uses the Saltillo 88 Core board every day, I can tell you it’s more than just a communication tool. It’s a doorway to independence, connection, and expressing my students’ unique voice.

    What is the Saltillo 88 and why do I use this one?

    In this blog post, I want to share practical, real-world examples of how I integrate the Saltillo 88 into various daily activities, empowering my students and parents to learn to communicate.

    There are literally hundreds of core boards out there and I have tried many different ones over the years. Which one should I use with this particular client? Should I make up my own? (I have made up tons!) or should I use a ready-made one like the one below which is what this blog is about.

    For me the best ones are boards with a good number of core words (at least 60) so that the board is versatile and can be used across a range of activities. The board needs to have a range of pronouns, verbs, descriptors, prepositions and question words to be useful and to stimulate not just requesting but commenting and asking questions. Another consideration is: can the board easily be transferred to a more robust AAC system. Once my student is used to the symbols and where they are could we move to an electronic talker/device. And if this answer is ’yes’ then we have a great board to get started with.

    Below is a picture of the Saltillo 88.

    Saltillo 88 Core Board
    Saltillo 88 Core Board

    It has 88 words and I find it really does suit most activities. The same board and design is also then found on the TOUCHCHAT AAC device which can be a seamless transition for our learner.

    Let me dive into how core words/board or AAC can be used daily:

    1.  Getting dressed

    Whilst choosing clothes for your little one and getting them ready for the day you can use the following words: want, like, get, finish. Always pack the words into little phrases you can speak naturally when using a board. I have tried to show you phrases that you could use below.

    The words in bold are the core words on the board and the other words are just words you say whilst pointing to the core word.

    • Goal: Express choices, needs, and preferences about clothing.
    • Ideas:
      • ‘I want this one [specific item of clothing: ‘shirt’, ‘pants’]’
      • ‘I like that one [colour/type of clothing]’
      • ‘Help me [put/get it on/take off]’
      • ‘let’s get your socks now’
      • finished let’s go’ (when dressed)

    2. Having a shower/bath

    • Goal: Bath time tends to happen daily and so it lends itself to using the same useful phrases and words to chat about temperature preferences, to ask for toys or for washing routines.
    • Ideas:
      • ‘let’s go have a bath/shower’
      • ‘let’s turn on the tap/water’
      • now turn it off
      • ‘let’s get/have more toys/water/bubbles/tickles’
      • all gone, what’s next?’
      • ‘how about washing your hands/feet’
      • ‘let’s do that again’
      • ‘need some help?’
      • Stop it now, let’s do something different’

    3. Mealtimes

    • Goal: Mealtimes can be (or should be) enjoyable and motivating to ask for specific things we like, and commenting about our eating experiences.
    • Ideas:
      • ‘I want/give me [food item: ‘apple’, ‘bread’]/[drink item: ‘water’, ‘juice’]’
      • More foods/drinks/snacks’
      • All done
      • ‘that’s messy we like that (not)’
      • ‘Like’/‘Don’t like’
      • Big’/‘Little’
      • ‘this is so nice!’

    4. Playing

    • Goal: This is where it’s at for children of course and we can use our core words to chat and engage with our little learners.
    • Ideas:
      • ‘I want play’
      • Go’/‘Stop
      • More/again’
      • ‘not it’s my My turn/’it’s Your turn
      • ‘that’s a Big one!’/‘let’s do Little bubbles (describing toys)
      • ‘let me Open it for you (for boxes, doors in play)
      • ‘I See it’ (to draw attention)
      • Help me’ (with a tricky toy)

    5. Opening boxes/doors/etc

    • Goal: Most kids love opening boxes, doors and cabinets to see what there is to play with. Help your child to ask for what they want.
    • Ideas:
      • let’s Open that box/bag/zip/door’
      • get me a (toy) out of here’
      • ‘Let’s Take it out and see what it is?’
      • finished’ (when finished with the task)
      • ‘I want [what’s inside]’
      • ‘What’s next? Let’s see’

    Tips for using AAC effectively

    • Consistency is key: Emphasise using it regularly, even for small things.
    • Modelling: this is crucial, the adults need to use the board for all situations first and foremost before we can expect our child to be interested.
    • Patience: Communication takes time and practice.
    • Celebrate successes: Acknowledge every communicative attempt.
    • Make it accessible: Keep the board within easy reach at all times.

    Conclusion

    If you’re considering the Saltillo 88, or TouchChat, or are already using it, I hope these examples inspire you. It’s a journey of discovery, and every word communicated is a step towards a more connected and independent life. What are your favourite ways to use the Saltillo 88 or which core board do you love using? I would love to hear your comments and stories.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · ·

    The purpose and nature of a speech and language therapy assessment

    If you have ever wondered what happens when you bring your child to a speech and language therapy assessment, then this blog will shed light on the ins and outs of it for you.

    At its heart, a speech and language therapy assessment is a systematic and thorough evaluation of your child’s communication or eating/swallowing abilities. It’s more than just asking a few questions. It is a carefully constructed process designed to identify strengths, pinpoint challenges, and ultimately pave the way for effective intervention.

    Establishing a detailed profile – a few bullet points:

    • Identification of communication and swallowing difficulties: I aim to determine if a communication or swallowing disorder exists. I will establish if the difficulty is a delay or a more complex disorder.
    • Diagnosis of the specific disorder/autism: The assessment delves deeper to pinpoint the specific type and nature of the difficulty. For instance, is your child’s language delay due to a specific learning disability, a developmental delay, or another underlying condition?
    • Knowing the aetiology or what is causing a difficulty is crucial for targeted intervention. And whilst we are on the topic let’s talk about an autism assessment: I am trained and experienced in assessing and diagnosing autism. However, when it comes to the diagnosis of autism I provide a preliminary ‘working hypothesis’ rather than giving a definite final diagnosis. The reason for this is that it is considered the ‘gold standard’ and ‘best practice’ to diagnose autism in a multi-disciplinary setting and context. Since I work on my own, I always refer to highly recommended multi-disciplinary clinics for the ultimate diagnostic assessment.
    • Determination of severity: Understanding the severity of the difficulty is essential for prioritising intervention and measuring progress. Is your child’s difficulty mild, moderate, or severe? This helps me choose a particular approach and then tailor it to suit each individual child.
    • Identification of underlying strengths and weaknesses: An assessment doesn’t just focus on what’s wrong. It also highlights your child’s strengths and areas of relative ease. This information is invaluable for building upon existing skills during therapy. Understanding weaknesses provides specific targets for intervention.
    • Guiding intervention planning: The assessment provides the crucial information I need to develop an individualised intervention plan. The findings directly inform the selection of therapy goals, strategies, and techniques. Without a thorough assessment, therapy would be a shot in the dark.

    A multi-faceted approach

    A speech and language therapy assessment is not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ procedure. The specific tools and techniques used will vary depending on a child’s age, the nature of the suspected difficulty, and other relevant factors. However, most comprehensive assessments incorporate several key components:

    • Case history: This involves gathering information about your child’s developmental, medical, social, and educational background. We will go through all the relevant milestones and throughout the process I will make notes which will help bring all the puzzle pieces together.
    • Observation: I will observe how parent and child play together and we also look at how the child plays by themselves. Additionally of interest is how a child plays with me, the therapist. Through discussion I will also endeavour to find out how your child plays with other children, be it at the nursery or within the family.
    • Standardised assessments: These are commercially available tests with specific administration and scoring procedures. They provide norm-referenced data, allowing to compare the individual child’s performance to that of his or her peers. Examples include articulation tests, language comprehension and production tests, and fluency assessments. I tend not to use these assessments a lot.
    • Instead, I use non-standardised assessments: These are more flexible and allow to probe specific areas of concern in more detail. This might include language samples (analysing spontaneous speech), dynamic assessment (testing and teaching to identify learning potential), and informal observation of play or interaction.
    • Immediate feedback and report writing: During and thenfollowing the assessment, I will bring all the gathered information together and I will discuss with the parents what my findings are and what my recommendations in the short term are. Parents always go home with a good handful of useful strategies that they can implement at home right away. In addition, I provide a comprehensive report outlining the findings, diagnosis (if applicable), severity, strengths and weaknesses, and recommendations for intervention.

    In conclusion, a speech and language therapy assessment is a dynamic and essential process. It is a journey of discovery, aiming to understand a child and the child’s family and his or her unique communication or feeding profile. The assessment is usually the start of our wonderful learning journey together.

    Below is a short video clip of an assessment where you see me in action explaining a particular therapy approach to a set of parents. It perhaps shows a tiny bit of how relaxed we are in our sessions and that assessment is not at all daunting, but a hugely informative event overall which will leave you feeling empowered and hopeful.

    What happens after an assessment?

    Please feel free to get in touch with me via my contact form if you wish to have an assessment for your child’s communication difficulties or feeding difficulties.

    An assessment is always a stand-alone event and does not mean you need to automatically book follow up sessions at all. It will give a lot of information and based on this you can decide if you would like more therapy or follow up for you and your child. Many times ongoing therapy is not needed! I only recommend a course of therapy if it is really needed and where it would be immediately beneficial for your child.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    How we can help shape smooth consonant blends

    For many children, especially those navigating Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS), the challenge isn’t just making individual sounds. It’s the ‘speech gymnastics’ required to move smoothly from one sound to the next.

    You might notice that instead of saying ‘Train’, your child says ‘Ter-ain’, or for ‘Frog’, you hear ‘Fer-og’. That sneaky little ‘uh’ sound in the middle is what we call a schwa vowel. In the world of speech science, this is known as epenthesis. It’s essentially a ‘repair strategy’ the brain uses to break up a difficult cluster of sounds into two easier pieces.

    While it might seem like a small detail, that tiny vowel makes a big difference in how fluent and clear a child’s speech sounds. In today’s post (and the video below), I am working with my student on ironing out that schwa by focusing on co-articulation—the art of getting the mouth ready for the second sound while still finishing the first.

    The ‘best friends’ strategy

    To help my student understand this complex movement, I use visual cues and a story. There are many ways to portray two sounds living closely together, but for this session, I used the ‘Best Friends’ story.

    In our story, the /T/ and the /R/ are older brother best friends who want to play together. The ‘schwa’ sound is represented by a little sister who keeps trying to jump in the middle of their game! Because my student has a younger sister, this scenario was instantly familiar and helped him visualise why we needed to ‘close the gap’ between those two sounds.

    Alternative methods I often use:

    Beyond stories, I often use other visual and tactile methods to show the closeness of two sounds:

    • The sliding finger: I draw two dots on a paper—one for /T/ and one for /R/. We slide a finger quickly from one to the other. I might say, ‘Don’t let the ‘uh’ monster jump in the gap!’
    • The rubber band: We stretch a rubber band as we speak. I tell my student that the word is one long, smooth stretch, rather than two separate ‘pops’.
    • Visual cues for ‘quiet’ sounds: I often put my finger to my lips or tap my throat to remind a child to keep the first sound voiceless. If the voice stays ‘off’ during the /T/, it’s much harder for that schwa vowel to creep in.

    The importance of ‘pure’ modelling

    A major hurdle in clearing up these blends is how we, as adults, model sounds. Often, when teaching the alphabet, we say ‘Kuh’, ‘Puh’ or ‘Tuh’. But if you listen closely, you’re actually adding a vowel! If a child learns that /K/ says ‘Kuh’, it’s only natural they will say ‘Kuh-R’ for /KR/.

    To give your child a cleaner blueprint, try modeling ‘pure’ sounds. Think of whispering rather than talking:

    • The /K/ sound: A short, sharp burst of air from the back of the throat. No voice! (A quiet /K/ click).
    • The /P/ sound: Just a ‘pop’ of air from the lips. If your throat vibrates, the vowel has snuck in.
    • The /T/ sound: A tiny tap of the tongue behind the teeth.

    Why is this important?

    You might ask, ‘If I can still understand them, does it really matter if they say “ter-ain”?

    The goal of speech therapy isn’t just functional communication; it’s building phonological awareness. When a child adds extra vowels, it can eventually impact their literacy. If they hear ‘ter-ain,’ they are much more likely to eventually spell it as ‘terain’ or ‘traint’.

    By helping them master these clusters through co-articulation now, we are setting them up for success in reading and writing. And we are giving them the confidence to speak with ease.

    Feel free to contact me if your child needs help with clusters or other difficulties either aligned with Childhood Apraxia of Speech or other articulation difficulties.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    References

    • Hall, N. (2011). Vowel Epenthesis. In The Blackwell Companion to Phonology (eds M. Oostendorp, C.J. Ewen, E. Hume and K. Rice). In this work, epenthesis is defined as the insertion of a vowel to break up complex consonant clusters into simpler, more manageable syllables. This is often viewed as a ‘repair strategy’ used by the brain when a transition between sounds is too complex to execute quickly.
    • Aichert, I., & Ziegler, W. (2004) Brain and Language 88(1):148-59. Syllable frequency and syllable structure in apraxia of speech. This research highlights that children with Apraxia often struggle specifically with word-onset clusters, leading to distortions like the schwa.
    • Browman, C. P., & Goldstein, L. (1992) Phonetica 1992;49(3-4):155-80. Articulatory Phonology: An Overview. This paper explains that fluent speech requires ‘gestural overlap,’ where the movements for two different sounds happen simultaneously. This supports the ‘Best Friends’ method of keeping sounds close together.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Four struggles parents face when out and about with children with speech, language, and communication difficulties

    A man and a woman hug a young girl at a table
    Hug

    You (as parents) often describe yourselves as being under constant pressure and stress when looking after your children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). You may find going out to do the simplest of tasks a challenge. And you will try to avoid social situations out of fear and anxiety. One of the most important factors to you is having like-minded people who understand your position as a parent with a young person with additional needs. Let’s look at some of the challenges you face and how I can support you and your family.

    1. Challenging behaviour and going out to the shops

    When your child displays challenging behaviour and won’t go into a shop without buying a toy that they insist on having, it can be tough on your family. You see people around you staring as you try to manage the situation. They do not understand the pressures you face, or that the simplest of tasks are a huge challenge.

    I can support you by giving strategies to use when out and about. I know that using visuals is important for your child. They may not understand or take in language when they are in a heightened state of anxiety or feeling overwhelmed. You could print pictures of the places you’re going to and put them on an easily accessible chain. Then you could use that chain when out and about at the shops. You may want to introduce a visual timetable at home. That way your child or young person understands where they are going. This may lessen their anxiety and subsequent behaviour.

    2. Your child is not able to communicate their needs to an unfamiliar communication partner

    When your child has difficulty communicating to an unfamiliar person it can be hard to manage. You feel yourself explaining your situation repeatedly. I can provide your child with individualised strategies or communication aids which support your child to communicate with both familiar and unfamiliar communication partners. We’ll work together to find which communication methods work in different situations and how your child will use these to help their independence.

    3. Being overwhelmed

    Your child or young person may easily be overwhelmed which may contribute to behaviour changes. I’ll work with your family to understand what the behaviour means, looking at what happened before and what happened afterwards. We’ll not only look at the behaviour but at the environment as well. This can inform how you can support your child or young person in the future, to reduce sensory stimuli (if needed) and for them to feel emotionally regulated.

    4. People avoid engaging with you

    One of the hardest things as a parent is for others to avoid you. You see them crossing the street because they don’t know what to say to you. All you want is them to accept you, to maintain your identity as a person and not as a SEND parent. I can support you emotionally. I can give you advice on local support networks where you can find other parents in a similar situation.

    We know the stresses that being a parent with a child with SEND comes with. Please know I am always here to support you, to find solutions so that when you’re next out and about. Your experience will be a little easier and you’ll feel less isolated.

    Improve your child’s communication, confidence, reduce overwhelm and feel supported here.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · ·

    Creating your calm: containment strategies for Sensory Processing Difficulties

    The world can be a beautiful and stimulating place, but for individuals with Sensory Processing difficulties (SPD), it can also be overwhelming and even painful. Everyday sights, sounds, smells, touches, and tastes can be amplified to uncomfortable or even unbearable levels. This can lead to anxiety, meltdowns, and a constant feeling of being on edge.

    One important coping mechanism for SPD is containment. Containment strategies are techniques that help individuals manage their sensory experiences and create a sense of calm and safety.

    Understanding containment needs:

    Containment needs vary greatly from person to person. Some individuals might find comfort in deep pressure, while others might crave quiet and solitude.

    Common containment strategies:

    Here are some examples of containment strategies that can be helpful for individuals with SPD:

    • Deep pressure: This can involve activities like wearing weighted vests, using weighted blankets, getting firm hugs, or applying deep pressure massage.
    • Movement: Engaging in rhythmic movements like rocking, swinging, or jumping can be calming for some individuals.
    • Proprioceptive input: Activities that involve proprioception, the sense of body awareness, can be grounding. Examples include yoga, stretching, and proprioceptive toys like chewy necklaces or fidget spinners.
    • Visual calming: Utilising calming visuals like nature scenes, dimmed lights, or fidget toys with visual patterns can provide a sense of peace.
    • Auditory modifications: Noise-blocking headphones, earplugs, or white noise machines can help block out distracting or overwhelming sounds.
    • Oral motor activities: Chewing gum, crunchy snacks, or chewy toys can provide sensory input and help regulate emotions.
    • Sensory bottles: Watching calming visuals move within a liquid-filled bottle can be visually stimulating and promote focus.
    • Creating a safe space: Having a designated quiet area at home or school where individuals can retreat to self-regulate can be invaluable. This space should be free from clutter and overwhelming stimuli and can include calming sensory items.

    Additional tips:

    • Be patient and understanding: It takes time and practice to find what works best for each individual. Be patient with yourself or your child as you explore different strategies.
    • Consistency is key: Once you find effective strategies, use them consistently in different settings to create a sense of predictability and comfort.
    • Communicate openly: Talk to teachers, caregivers, and others about individual needs and how they can support containment strategies.
    • Celebrate progress: No matter how small, acknowledge and celebrate successes in managing sensory experiences.

    Remember:

    Containment is not about suppressing sensory experiences altogether. It’s about creating a sense of control and reducing overwhelming sensations to a manageable level. By exploring different strategies and working with a qualified professional, individuals with SPD can develop the tools they need to navigate the world and experience life to the fullest.

    Do get in touch if you would like some in-person or on-line 1:1 support with this. It can be overwhelming to figure it all out alone.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · · ·

    Managing mealtime sensory overload at holiday gatherings: Supporting children with allergies and feeding differences

    Managing mealtime sensory overload at holiday gatherings: Supporting children with allergies and feeding differences

    Holiday meals are meant to be joyful and something we all look forward to. But for many children and their families, these occasions can be overwhelming and be the cause of dread and worry. The combination of new smells, unfamiliar foods, loud environments, social expectations, and allergy anxieties can quickly turn what should be a festive time into a stressful one.

    For parents of children with sensory processing differences, selective eating challenges, or food allergies, holiday gatherings often require careful planning and a big dose of tolerance and compassion. The good news is that with awareness and a few gentle strategies, you can support your child to feel safe, regulated, and included during festive meals without pressure, tears, or discomfort.

    Let’s explore how to make holiday mealtimes calmer, safer, and more connected this season.

    🎄 Why holiday meals feel so overwhelming

    Holiday gatherings usually combine several sensory triggers all at once:

    • Noisy, chaotic rooms
    • Strong smells from a mix of foods we don’t normally cook
    • Multiple conversations happening at once
    • Bright lights, Christmas décor, flickering candles
    • Unfamiliar foods with unexpected textures
    • Expectations to ‘try everything’ or ‘enjoy it’s sooo good!’
    • New environments, seating arrangements, or routines

    For children with sensory sensitivities, this can feel like a tidal wave of input. Research shows that children who are sensory-sensitive often have heightened responses to smell, taste, and texture, which may lead to avoidance or distress at mealtimes (Cermak, Curtin, & Bandini, 2010).

    Add food allergies into the picture and anxiety increases even further for both children and parents. A 2020 study by DunnGalvin et al. found that children with food allergies experience significantly higher stress in shared eating environments, especially when food preparation or contamination risk is hard to control.

    So, if your child becomes tearful, shuts down, or refuses to sit at the festive table, it isn’t ‘bad behaviour.’ It’s sensory overload, heightened vigilance, or discomfort communicating through their body.

    🌟 Preparing your child for a calmer festive meal

    Preparation is especially important for sensory-sensitive or allergy-aware children. Here’s how to set them up for success:

    1. Offer predictability through previewing

    Before the event, show your child pictures of:

    • where you’re going
    • who will be there
    • the types of foods that might be served
    • where they might sit

    A visual schedule or social story can help reduce anxiety and give your child a sense of control.

    2. Pack safe foods without apology

    If your child has allergies or selective eating, bring:

    • ‘Safe foods’ you know they will eat
    • Backup snacks
    • A separate (their own) plate, if needed
    • Emergency medication

    Announce clear, firm boundaries such as:

    ‘Ok people, these are Jamie’s safe foods — we’ll stick with these today.’ This will help relatives understand without pressure or judgement.

    3. Choose seating that supports sensory regulation

    If possible, seat your child:

    • at the end of the table
    • near a familiar adult
    • away from the kitchen (strong smells)
    • away from noise clusters
    • give them their favourite toy or fidget whilst waiting

    Let them take breaks when needed. This isn’t ‘rude,’ it’s self-regulation.

    🍽️ Supporting children during the meal

    1. Focus on connection, not consumption

    The holidays are not the time to expand your child’s food range. Keeping mealtimes low-pressure actually supports long-term progress.

    In fact, the research is clear: pressuring children to eat decreases acceptance and increases refusal (Galloway et al., 2006).

    So instead of ‘Just try it!’ try:

    • ‘You don’t have to eat it, you can look at it.’
    • ‘You’re in charge of what goes in your mouth.’
    • ‘You can keep your safe foods on your plate.’

    2. Protect your child’s allergy safety

    Holiday meals often include:

    • cross-contamination risks
    • shared utensils
    • buffets
    • homemade dishes without ingredient lists

    Use gentle but firm scripts:

    • ‘Because of Ellie’s allergies, we’ll keep her plate separate.’
    • ‘We’ll serve her food ourselves to make sure she stays safe.’

    Confidence in your boundary helps others respect it.

    3. Manage sensory load in real time

    Offer:

    • headphones
    • a small chew or fidget toy
    • a designated ‘calm corner’
    • time outside for fresh air
    • a predictable signal for breaks (e.g., a hand squeeze or card)

    Remember, sensory regulation is healthcare, not ‘giving in.’

    4. Model calm eating

    Children learn most from watching.

    Slow, happy bites and relaxed facial expressions tell the nervous system: ‘This environment is safe’.

    💛 What to say to well-meaning relatives

    Families often have big feelings about food. You can prepare nice phrases like:

    • ‘We’re focusing on helping him feel safe around food today.’
    • ‘She has allergies, so we’re sticking to our plan.’
    • ‘We’re avoiding pressure because it helps him eat better long term.’
    • ‘We’re celebrating together, eating is not the goal today.’

    Setting expectations ahead of time can reduce awkward moments later.

    🎁 The bigger picture: It’s about safety, not ‘picky eating’

    Children with allergies, sensory differences, or feeding challenges aren’t trying to be difficult. They are trying to stay safe, regulated, and comfortable.

    Your calm presence, gentle boundaries, and preparation create the conditions for a holiday that feels peaceful, not pressured.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    📚Research References

    Cermak, S. A., Curtin, C., & Bandini, L. G. (2010). Food selectivity and sensory sensitivity in children with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 110(2), 238–246.

    DunnGalvin, A. et al. (2020). APPEAL-2: A pan-European qualitative study to explore the burden of peanut-allergic children, teenagers and their caregivers. Clinical & Experimental Allergy, 50(11), 1238–1248.

    Galloway, A. T., Fiorito, L. M., Francis, L. A., & Birch, L. L. (2006). ‘Finish your soup!’ Counterproductive effects of pressuring children to eat on intake and affect. Appetite, 46(3), 318–323.

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