The picky eater’s plate: Introducing solids to toddlers with ARFID

ByLondon Speech and Feeding
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Mealtimes can be a battleground for parents of picky eaters, especially toddlers with Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). I see a great number of toddlers with Autism traits and many of my clients are picky eaters from mild to severe. Take a look at my blog for an outline of what the issues are and how to try and help.

ARFID goes beyond typical ‘picky eating’ and can significantly impact a child’s growth, nutrition, and social-emotional well-being. If your toddler is resistant to trying new foods or has a very limited diet, here are some strategies to navigate the introduction of solids:

1. Understand ARFID:

ARFID is a diagnosable eating disorder characterised by:

  • Limited food variety: Eating only a small range of foods, often with specific textures or colours.
  • Fear of new foods: Intense anxiety or aversion to trying unfamiliar foods.
  • Sensory sensitivities: Heightened sensitivity to taste, smell, texture, or appearance of food.
  • Lack of interest in eating: May show little interest in food or mealtimes.

2. Seek professional guidance:

  • Paediatrician and/or gastroenterologist: Rule out any underlying medical conditions.
  • Registered dietitian: Assess nutritional needs and create a balanced meal plan.
  • Speech and language therapist (SLT): If oral-motor skills or sensory sensitivities are contributing to feeding difficulties.
  • Occupational therapist (OT): If sensory processing challenges are affecting mealtime behaviours.
  • Child psychologist: If anxiety or emotional factors are contributing to ARFID.

3. Strategies for introducing solids:

  • Start small: Introduce one new food at a time, in small amounts, alongside familiar favourites.
  • Patience is key: It can take multiple exposures (up to 10–15 times!) for a child to accept a new food. Don’t give up!
  • Positive reinforcement: Praise and encouragement for any interaction with the new food, even just touching or smelling it.
  • No pressure: Avoid forcing or pressuring the child to eat. This can create negative associations with food.
  • Make it fun: Present food in playful ways, use cookie cutters for fun shapes, or involve the child in food preparation.
  • Sensory exploration: Encourage exploration of food through touch, smell, and sight before tasting.
  • Role modelling: Show the child that you enjoy eating a variety of foods.
  • Use fun utensils: your child might like characters from ‘Frozen’ or ‘Dinosaurs’ or ‘Diggers’ there are a host of character-based cutlery and cups/plates to be had. Also, I really rate these two items very highly they are so good so I want to share these with you. Both are available online. But warning: the cup is outrageously expensive as it comes from the United States and is sold by a small scale company. But I feel this is cup very worth trying, I have had good results with this.
NumNum Baby Spoons Set
TalkTools Recessed Lid Cup with Handles
  • Gradual desensitisation: Start with foods that are similar in texture or taste to accepted foods, then gradually introduce more challenging options.
  • Food chaining: Introduce new foods that are similar in taste, texture, or appearance to accepted foods.

4. Mealtime Environment:

  • Positive and relaxed: Create a calm and enjoyable mealtime atmosphere.
  • No distractions: Minimise distractions like TV or toys.
  • Consistent schedule: Offer meals and snacks at regular times.
  • Child-sized portions: Offer small, manageable portions to avoid overwhelming the child.
  • Involve the child: Let the child choose their utensils, plate, or cup.

5. Remember:

  • Every child is different: What works for one child may not work for another.
  • Progress takes time: Be patient and celebrate small victories.
  • Focus on the positive: Praise any positive interaction with food.
  • Seek support: Connect with other parents or support groups.

Introducing solids to toddlers with ARFID can be challenging, but with patience, persistence, and professional guidance, you can help your child develop a healthier relationship with food.

Get in touch with me via my contact form if you need support

Sonja McGeachie

Early Intervention Speech and Language Therapist

Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice

The London Speech and Feeding Practice

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · ·

    Are the Gestalts I model easy to mix and match later on?

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Image by bearfotos on Freepik

    Here are some examples of great phrases and Gestalts that we could use:

    • Let’s get a banana / Let’s go out / Let’s play lego / Let’s go see daddy
    • That’s nice! / That’s really good! / That’s a green one / That’s a submarine
    • Need more help / Need a wee wee / Need that / Need to run
    • How about a biscuit / How about a cuddle / How about watching tv
    • We love bananas / We love a monkey / We love a cuddle

    Why or how could these examples be mixed and matched?

    You can see I have given several examples for each, that is how later a child can take one chunk (let’s) and add another (go out) or (need) + (go out).

    What about our own grammar? Should we be using grammatical phrases?

    In general for NLA 1 (Natural Language Acquisition stage 1) we want to use short phrases and keep them quite generic, something like:

    ‘Let’s go’ or ‘let’s play’ and pick 2-3 phrases per communicative function (see next point below).

    And if we are going to say longer sentences, for example: ‘let’s go and feed the ducks now’, then we should do so with good grammar and really varied intonation. It sometimes helps me to make up a little song/jingle on the spot that has a lot of intonation, more than I would perhaps use just by speaking.

    How many varied communicative functions do we cover with our modelling?

    We want to model a variety of Gestalts other than just requesting for example. In general, we are looking at our child having one or two Gestalts in the following areas before they are ready to move on into stage 2.

    These are the most common ones I see in my practice:

    • Requesting ‘want a banana/biscuit’ ‘Wanna play ball’
    • Transitioning: ‘what now?’ ‘what next?’
    • Ask for help: ‘need help’ ‘help me’ ‘mummy help’
    • Commenting: ‘it’s big’ ‘it’s red’ ‘it’s fast’ ‘too loud’
    • Speak up for self: ‘not that one’ ‘go now’ ‘stop it’

    Is the Gestalt I am modelling meaningful to my child?

    We don’t use all available Gestalts for every child. It has to be meaningful to the individual and has to match their interests. If our child is a big fan of feeding the ducks in the park then we can think about Gestalts like:

    • I see ducks!
    • They’re over there
    • Let’s feed them?
    • Let’s get some seeds
    • They’re coming!
    • They want food / They wanna eat!
    • That’s a big one
    • It’s so hungry
    • It loves the seeds!
    • No more! All done! Finished! Let’s go home

    What is my child actually trying to tell me?

    We have to be become word/phrase detectives! Is the phrase/script/Gestalt they are using right now actually meaning what they said or does it mean something else, and if so, what?

    Here is an example from my own personal experience in my practice:

    The little boy I was working/playing with was building a tall tower with blocks. When it finally fell with a great big bang he said in a sing-song voice ‘ring-a-ring-a roses’ … then he began to collect the blocks again to make a fresh tower. I sat there and thought: why ‘ring-a-ring-a roses’? What does that mean in this context? I then sang the song (silently) to myself with my detective hat on and realised as I came to the end that it finishes with ‘we all fall down’! it was a real AHA!!! moment for me as I saw right there what the meaning of his Gestalt was. He sang the first line of the song to say ‘all fall down!’

    So realising this I waited for the next tower to fall, and there it was again, he sang the first line of the song. I replied thus, copying him at first:

    ‘RING-A-RING-A ROSES – WE ALL FALL DOWN!…

    FALL DOWN

    WE LOVE IT FALLING DOWN.’

    The process to find what we should say is not always straight forward or easy at all, and often we don’t quite know in the moment what our child is trying to say. But we can try and get to know their interests and then gradually we do know more and more what the meaning behind the Gestalt is or could be.

    What pronouns should we use?

    This can be a tricky one.

    We don’t want to use language that uses the pronouns ‘you’ or ‘you’re’. The reason is that our child will likely copy us exactly as we have said it. Therefore, using pronouns ‘you’ and ‘you’re’ will then sound wrong.

    Always try to model language that is from the child’s perspective or in other words how they would say it if they could.

    Alternatively, you can model using WE or US. For example, if the child is tired, rather than saying ‘you are so tired’ model language from his or her point of view: ‘I’m tired’ or ‘let’s go have a lie down’.

    There is so much more to talk about. Stay tuned for a blog on NLA stage 2 coming soon.

    If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • ·

    Support your child’s communication using books: OI FROG

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Sonja's top recommendation: Oi Frog, written by Kes Gray and Jim Field. An exciting book for children to enhance their speech, language and communication.
    Oi Frog by Kes Gray and Jim Field

    Book corner with Oi Frog! by Kes Gray and Jim Field.

    Books are an engaging way to support your child’s communication development. Even if your little one dislikes reading in the traditional sense. They will become immersed in this adventure, without realising they are taking in language and developing vital communication skills. This is one of my favourite series for children.

    Increase fun and interaction

    These books are made for fun and excitement! It may seem silly putting on different voices for different characters, but this is one way in which you can engage your child. Why not try to use different intonation patterns (e.g., you may use a deep voice for the dog, and a higher pitch for the cat)? Make your story interactive: you could ‘rawww’ like a lion and see who can make the loudest noise. Make noises to encourage interaction (e.g., when scratching his chin, make a squeaky sound!). You could also relate the experience back to your child (e.g., ‘can you scratch your chin?’).

    Time to talk

    Talk about what you can see on the front cover (e.g., There’s a frog on a log, how funny!) You could also ask your child to choose the rhyming words on a page in the book. Can your child tell you what rhymes with certain words (e.g., can you guess what a parrot sits on?)? Make use of every page. You could comment on your favourite frog and see if your child can talk about their favourite. You can support them by giving them an example (“my favourite frog is the one swimming backwards because he looks funny”). Then you could use this scaffold to support their answer. Your favourite is [________________] because [_________________]

    If your child is reluctant to use language, the use of commenting can take the pressure of them (“look at all those frogs” or “he’s climbing up the stool”) is a powerful way in which you (as parents) can take the pressure off your child. A top tip I like to give is to make sure you pause regularly, which creates opportunities for your child to use language.

    This book uses a subject-verb-object sentence structure (e.g., ‘hares sit on chairs’) which allows your child to hear a good model of a sentence. You could also talk about things in the book that belong in a certain category (e.g., animals, food) or begin with a specific sound. See if your child will name any more.

    Reap the reward of repetitive language

    Oi Frog uses repetitive rhyming language and puts emphasis on these words. This is important because the more your child hears a word, the more likely they are to remember, understand and use it in the correct context.

    Emotions matter

    Talk about how the animals feel and why they may feel this emotion (e.g., the cat’s feeling annoyed because…, Lions sit on irons, how does the lion feel?). Reasons can be difficult for children with communication difficulties. Support them by giving an example or by giving them an option (e.g., “does the lion feel happy or sad? I think the lion feels sad because he’s burnt his bottom on the iron! It’s too hot!”)

    A collection of books
    OI Books

    Why not read similar stories? I highly recommend OI CAT, OI DOG and OI DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS.

    Need support for your child’s communication? Contact me here.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · ·

    AAC Systems and Speech and Language Development

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    Introduction

    I see a lot of minimally speaking or non-verbal children in my practice. Some children are autistic and others are severely challenged with motor planning and some are both. Some children are simply delayed in their spoken language for reasons that we don’t quite know yet.

    Regardless of the causes, what is always apparent pretty quickly is that apart from the odd gestures or Makaton signs (mainly ‘more” ‘finished’ and “biscuit) we don’t have a robust alternative for speech in place. Instead, what we often have is a child with lots of frustration and tantrums and some behaviours we really don’t want like: hitting, biting, pushing, grabbing and often throwing… There are others, too many to mention, but we don’t enjoy watching our children in these states. And we are often fearful of what might happen next if we don’t find a way to calm our child.

    Fear not

    In my work, before I get to offer an alternative means of communication, I often have to work with a fair amount of resistance on the parents’ side as parents tend to feel that allowing such a system into their lives will prevent their child from speaking. They fear that their child will so enjoy pressing those buttons that they will become lazy and not talk at all.

    I totally get it!

    Parents often feel overwhelmed by the task of getting their own heads round how to use AAC, either in paper form or a computerised system. This can be a great turn-off for lots of people who feel they are not very “techy” – like myself actually! Indeed, it is true to say that I resisted operating in this field for a long time as I didn’t feel able to navigate electronic devices. But fear not. Truly, most systems are very user-friendly. The support is great. And I have managed to become quite proficient in one or two of these systems, through using it daily. It really is as simple as that.

    Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC)

    There is plenty of research on the efficacy of Alternative and Augmentative Communication (AAC). It is now very well understood and proven that, once we introduce our child to a good, attractive way of communicating that they can actually do, in time children who can speak will speak. Speaking is more effective than any AAC system. It is more versatile, more fun, and when human beings have discovered how to speak, most will do so in favour of any other system.

    Many children and adults, for many reasons, were never going to speak an awful lot, or with great difficulty. Or they were not going to like to speak. Or they were going to like to speak some times but not other times… And for all those people an AAC system is invaluable and a wonderful resource.

    Neuro-diversity affirming means that we do not impose one system of communication on our children (speaking with our mouth) only because it is the one we are using and most people we know too.

    Of course, we want the best for our children, and we want them to have the easiest and most straight forward existence on Earth. Of course we do. Speaking with our mouth does help with that. But we must come to understand that not all children and people feel like that and they struggle to use their mouth for talking.

    Personal experience

    I have difficulties understanding this myself, I will be very honest here. And I will say that – shoot me down in flames SLT fraternity – but I am learning to accept that using an AAC system proficiently is a very good alternative for when speech is not coming. I am learning to accept that some people are perfectly able to speak, and might do so but not always and only when conditions are right. I came into the profession as a speech therapist with the idea that I would help anybody that came to me to speak with their mouth. But I have changed my stance on that and now am happy to help anybody that comes to me to communicate most effectively with whatever works for them. I will always try for speech if I can … Just because it’s easiest!

    Acceptance

    Now I will equally celebrate a child pointing to a symbol or making a sign for something. It is a fantastic moment when it happens for the parents and me and the child! And we can always hope for more speech to come as we go. Nothing wrong with our aspirations, is there?

    The basic premise is this: accept any mode of communication as valid, as long as your communication partner understands what it means. Don’t require individuals to repeat themselves in another modality. Do model the response in the modality you are trying to teach. So, a child can point to a symbol and I will respond with speaking (with my mouth) but I will also respond by pointing to a symbol because that way I am signalling that both are ok and that I have understood and am encouraging the person to say some more.

    Here is some research;

    Binger, C., Berens, J., Kent-Walsh, J., & Taylor, S. (2008) The effects of aided AAC interventions on AAC use, speech and symbolic gestures. Seminars in Speech and Language, 29, 101-111.

    Sennott, S.C., Light, J., & McNaughton, D. (2016). AAC modelling intervention research review. Research and Practice for Persons with Severe Disabilities, 41, 101–15.

    Dada, S., & Alant, E. (2009). The effect of aided language stimulation on vocabulary acquisition in children with little or no functional speech. American Journal of Speech-Language Pathology, 18, 50–64.

    Contact me if you would like your child to have neurodiversity affirming speech and language therapy.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · ·

    Why pointing matters: Unpacking the power of this simple gesture

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    As a speech and language therapist, I’m often asked about the significance of seemingly simple gestures in child development. One question that comes up frequently is, ‘Why is pointing so important?’ It might seem like a trivial action, but pointing is a powerful communication tool and a critical milestone in a child’s development.

    Why is pointing so important?

    Let’s delve into the theory behind why pointing matters:

    1. Pointing as pre verbal communication:

    Before children can use words, they use gestures to communicate their needs and interests. Pointing is one of the earliest and most important gestures. It allows children to:

    • Request: ‘I want that!’
    • Protest: ‘No, not that!’
    • Direct attention: ‘Look at that!’
    • Share interest: ‘Wow, cool!’

    2. Pointing and language development:

    Pointing is not just about communicating in the here and now; it also plays a crucial role in language development. Research shows that:

    • Early pointing predicts later language skills: Children who point more often tend to have larger vocabularies and better grammar later on.
    • Pointing helps children learn new words: When children point at something, adults tend to label it, providing valuable language input.
    • Pointing supports joint attention: Joint attention, or the shared focus of two individuals on an object or event, is essential for language learning. Pointing helps establish joint attention, creating opportunities for communication and learning.

    3. Pointing and social-emotional development:

    Pointing is not just about language; it’s also about social interaction. It allows children to:

    • Engage with others: Pointing invites others to share their focus and participate in their world.
    • Express emotions: Pointing can convey excitement, curiosity, or concern.
    • Develop social understanding: By observing how others respond to their pointing, children learn about social cues and communication.

    4. Pointing and cognitive development:

    Pointing is linked to cognitive skills, such as:

    • Understanding object permanence: The ability to know that objects exist even when they are out of sight.
    • Categorisation: The ability to group similar objects together.
    • Problem-solving: Pointing can be used to ask for help or to indicate a problem.

    5. Types of Pointing:

    It’s important to note that there are different types of pointing, each with its own significance:

    • Imperative pointing: To request something.
    • Declarative pointing: To share interest or direct attention.
    • Informative pointing: To provide information.

    If you have concerns about your child’s pointing or overall communication development, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance from a speech-language therapist. Early intervention can make a significant difference in supporting your child’s communication journey.

    How can we create opportunities for pointing?

    • ‘Where’s the…?’ games:
      • Play games like ‘Where’s the doggy?’ or ‘Where’s the ball?’ and encourage your toddler to point to the object.
      • Start with familiar objects and gradually introduce new ones.
    • Reading together:
      • When reading picture books, ask your toddler to point to specific objects or characters on the page.
      • Use phrases like, ‘Can you point to the puppy?’
    • Everyday activities:
      • During daily routines, ask your toddler to point to things they want or need.
      • For example, ‘Do you want the apple or the banana?’
      • When walking outside say ‘LOOK’ and encourage pointing.
    • Use of toys:
      • Use toys that have buttons or points of interest that when pressed make a noise. Encourage your toddler to point to the area that makes the noise.
      • Use toys that have many different parts, and ask the toddler to point to a specific part.

    Model pointing:

    • Point yourself:
      • When you see something interesting, point to it and say the name of the object.
      • For example, ‘Look! A bird!’
    • Point to show choices:
      • When offering choices, point to each item as you name it.
      • For example, ‘Do you want the blue cup or the red cup?’ (Point to each cup).
    • Point to indicate direction:
      • When giving directions, point in the direction you want your toddler to go.
      • For example, ‘Let’s go that way!’ (Point).

    Make it rewarding:

    • Respond to pointing:
      • When your toddler points, immediately respond to their communication.
      • Give them the object they want, or acknowledge what they are pointing at.
    • Use positive reinforcement:
      • Praise and encourage your toddler when they point.
      • Say things like, ‘Good pointing!’ or ‘You showed me the car!’
    • Show excitement:
      • When they point to something, show excitement, this will encourage them to point again.

    Use specific techniques:

    • Use gestures and verbal cues:
      • Combine pointing with verbal cues and other gestures.
      • For example, say ‘Look!’ while pointing and nodding your head.
    • Simplify the environment:
      • Reduce distractions to help your toddler focus on the object you want them to point to.
    • Use exaggerated movements:
      • Use large, exaggerated pointing movements to draw your toddler’s attention.

    Consider developmental factors:

    • Age-appropriate expectations:
      • Remember that pointing develops at different rates for different children.
      • Be patient and supportive.
    • Underlying issues:
      • If your toddler is not pointing by 18 months, or if you have any concerns about their development, consult with a speech and language therapist.
      • There may be underlying sensory or motor issues.

    Key points:

    • Consistency is key. Practise these strategies regularly.
    • Make it fun and engaging for your toddler.
    • Celebrate every success, no matter how small.
    • If you have any concerns about your child’s development, contact your local health services.

    Great toys and items for pointing

    1. Interactive books:

    • Touch-and-feel books: Books with different textures, flaps to lift, and sounds encourage interaction and pointing. ‘Where’s the…?’ questions prompt pointing to specific features.
    • Books with simple pictures: Clear, uncluttered pictures make it easier for toddlers to focus and point to objects or characters.

    2. Cause-and-effect toys:

    • Activity cubes: These often have buttons, dials, and levers that produce sounds or actions when manipulated, prompting pointing and exploration.
    • Pop-up toys: Toys where figures pop up or things happen when a button is pressed encourage anticipation and pointing to the action.
    • Simple musical instruments: A toy piano, drum, or xylophone encourages pointing to the keys/surfaces to make sounds.

    3. Toys with parts to manipulate:

    • Shape sorters: Encourage pointing to the shapes and the matching holes.
    • Stacking cups or rings: Nesting cups or stacking rings invite pointing to select the correct size or order.
    • Puzzles with knobs: Simple puzzles with large knobs are easier for toddlers to grasp and point to the pieces.

    4. Toys that encourage joint attention:

    • Bubbles: Blowing bubbles and following them with your eyes and pointing encourages joint attention (shared focus).
    • Balls: Rolling a ball back and forth and pointing to where it’s going can promote joint attention and turn-taking.
    • Wind-Up Toys: Wind-up toys that move across the floor can be exciting to follow with pointing.

    5. Pretend play toys:

    • Toy telephones: Encourage pointing to the buttons and pretending to dial.
    • Dolls and stuffed animals: Pointing to the doll’s eyes, nose, mouth, etc., or asking the child to point to these features on themselves.
    • Toy food and dishes: Pretend play with food and dishes can involve pointing to request items or indicate actions (e.g., ‘Can I have the apple?’).

    Tips for using toys to encourage pointing:

    • Get involved: Play alongside your toddler, modelling pointing and using language to describe what you’re doing.
    • Follow their lead: Observe what your child is interested in and use that to encourage pointing.
    • Limit distractions: Reduce background noise and visual clutter to help your child focus.
    • Use gestures and words: Combine pointing with words and other gestures (e.g., ‘Look!’ while pointing).
    • Be patient and positive: Celebrate all attempts at pointing and provide lots of encouragement.

    Remember, the most important factor is the interaction you have with your child while playing. Use these toys as tools to create opportunities for communication and joint attention, and your toddler will be well on their way to mastering pointing!

    Get in touch with me via my contact form if you need support

    Sonja McGeachie

    Early Intervention Speech and Language Therapist

    Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
  • · · · ·

    Let’s ditch the ‘Fix-It’ approach to autistic play and stimming

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Let’s ditch the 'Fix-It' approach to autistic play and stimming

    December is often presented as a time of perfect, reciprocal play. Children are supposed to be unwrapping toys, sharing, and engaging in imaginative scenarios with family. But for parents of young autistic children, this high-pressure, socially demanding period can often feel like a battleground.

    If you’ve been told to interrupt your child’s stimming, push for eye contact, or force them to play ‘functionally’ with toys, it’s time to take a deep breath. Those traditional approaches are not only stressful—they often miss the point of your child’s communication.

    As a neurodiversity-affirming Speech and Language Therapist, I want to encourage you this December: You are allowed to follow your child’s lead, validate his or her unique interests, and trust that his or her play and movement are profoundly meaningful.

    1. Stimming: not a distraction, but a regulator 💡

    Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behaviour and includes repetitive movements or sounds like hand flapping, humming, rocking, finger flicking, or repeating phrases (called echolalia).

    For years, parents were incorrectly advised to block or eliminate these behaviours. The neurodiversity-affirming view tells us the exact opposite: Stimming is a vital and essential tool for your child’s self-regulation.

    Think of stimming as an internal volume dial:

    • Too loud/overwhelmed: Your child may stim to reduce incoming sensory input (e.g., rocking to ground himself or herself in a busy room).
    • Too quiet/under-stimulated: Your child may stim to increase sensory input and focus (e.g., running back and forth to maintain alertness).

    The shift: validate, don’t block

    Instead of saying, ‘Stop flapping your hands’, try to understand the message behind the movement.

    • Observe: When does the stimming happen? Is it before a meltdown? When your child excited? When your child is bored?
    • Validate: Name the need, not just the behaviour. You might say, ‘I see your body needs to move fast right now. That helps you calm down!’
    • Co-regulate: If the stim is unsafe (e.g., head-banging), help your child find a safer, alternative stim that meets the same sensory need (e.g., pushing hard against a wall, squeezing a stress ball).

    By validating your child’s need to regulate, you are building trust, reducing anxiety, and teaching him or her critical self-awareness.

    2. Autistic play: Meaningful, even if it’s monologue

    The traditional idea of ‘good play’ often involves turn-taking, pretending, and specific toy functions (e.g., pushing a train around a track). When an autistic child spends 30 minutes lining up cars, spinning their wheels, or scripting whole scenes from a favourite movie, it can often be dismissed as non-functional or repetitive.

    In neurodiversity-affirming practice, we recognise that autistic play is authentic play. These activities are crucial for learning, deep focus, and imaginative development.

    • Lining up toys may be an exploration of patterns, visual organisation, and order.
    • Spinning wheels may be a deep interest in cause-and-effect and visual sensory input.
    • Scripting is often a way to process language, regulate emotions, and practise complex social situations in a safe, controlled way.

    Make a change: Join your child’s world, don’t drag them to yours.

    Stop trying to force the ‘right’ way to play. Instead, try these neuro-affirming strategies:

    1. Be a co-regulator, not a director: If your child is lining up cars, sit down next to him or her. Instead of moving a car, try handing him or her another car to line up. Focus on the shared interest rather than forcing interaction.
    2. Narrate (don’t question): Avoid constantly asking, ‘What are you doing?’ or ‘What does this car say?’ This puts pressure on your child to perform. Instead, narrate your observations using his or her interest: ‘I see you made a long, straight line of red cars. Look at all the wheels spinning!’
    3. Validate the interest: Show genuine appreciation for your child’s focus. ‘Wow, you know so much about how magnets stick together! That’s incredible.’

    3. The communication revolution: Honouring gestalt language processing 

    Many young autistic children communicate in ways that don’t fit the traditional model of building language word-by-word. Many use Gestalt Language Processing (GLP).

    A gestalt language processor learns language in chunks or scripts (e.g., ‘what’s-in-there?’ or ‘ready-go!’). These chunks (or gestalts) are not random; they are often tied to an emotional memory or meaning. Over time, the child breaks down these big chunks into individual words then learns to recombine those words creatively.

    If your child repeats movie phrases or whole sentences that seem unrelated, he or she is likely a gestalt language processor!

    Affirm the script, then model something useful.

    1. Affirm the script: When your child says a script, respond to the meaning or emotion behind it, not the literal words. If he or she says, ‘We’re going to need a bigger boat’, and he or she is looking at a messy toy pile, he or she may be trying to express overwhelm or a need for help. You can affirm: ‘That pile is too big! I can help you move it.’
    2. Model new ‘mix and match’ scripts: To help your child move from whole scripts to single words, you can model shorter, slightly changed versions of the script, also called ‘mitigated gestalts’. If they say, ‘I want to go home now’, you might model, ‘Let’s go home, now’ or ‘I wanna go home’.

    By honouring your child’s communication style, you validate his or her experience and naturally support his or her path to language development—a core part of neurodiversity-affirming SLT.

    Your December gift to your little one:

    This December, stop trying to make your child fit into a neurotypical box. Instead, make your home a safe space where he or she can be his or her authentic selves.

    Prioritise regulation and connection over compliance.

    Trust that when your child is regulated, his or her communication, learning, and engagement will flourish naturally. This is the true gift of neurodiversity-affirming practice.

    Download and print my neuro-affirming quick reference guide and keep this guide handy on your fridge and/or in your child’s play area for a quick reminder to prioritise connection over conformity.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Rethinking the PECS Approach

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    I want to talk about some concerns of SLTs, parents and increasingly autistic adults who explain to us how this communication method did not really work so well and why.

    What is PECS in a nutshell:

    PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) is based on the idea of exchanging pictures in return for desired items. For more advanced users, it is used to communicate different functions such as emotions, comments, negations using the exchange of a sentence strip. It was founded on the principles of Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA).

    How does that look in practice?

    In my experience, having been trained in the approach myself, the overall aim is eventually for the child to spontaneously go and get their picture book (PECS book), open it, look through a range of pages to select the correct picture of what they want to have or say, then go and find their communication partner, and finally place that picture onto the communication partner’s outstretched palm to be rewarded with an item or with a response of some sort. Or the child selects a range of pictures to create a little sentence, such as: ‘the blue fish swims in the sea’, ‘the red bird flies in the sky’ or ‘I see a red bird’ for example. This can be part of a structured table top activity.

    The system follows a series of phases, starting from simple picture exchanges to eventually construction of sentences using symbols. PECS’s aim is to promote communication initiation and reduce frustration for those who struggle with speech.

    So far so good one might say, why not? Before I go into the various concerns, I would want to add my own working experience with PECS, and whilst it is my opinion, I would say I have NEVER seen a working PECS book being used spontaneously!

    My experience

    I have seen attempts of stages 1 and 2 done quite well, in schools, and where people knew that I was coming in “to have a look at how PECS is working with child X”. Yes, in those instances an effort was made of course to try and show me how it worked. I must add that have never been very impressed. I cannot recall it used for any other items than: biscuits/quavers/crisps/ raisins and bubbles/puzzle pieces or spinners.

    If we want to see a child trained to exchange for these items in a structured setting, i.e., the child sits at a little table with the adult sitting opposite enticing the child with one or other item, then yes that can be done successfully. I have seen children exchange 25 pictures with a crisp on it, for said crisp and they might have asked for another 25 of those crisps given half the chance. Yes. Good. But. I have yet to see a child go to their PECS book and go through all the motions that I mentioned above to get a crisp. In school they don’t need to: they know that crisps are only available when the PECS book is being practised. Otherwise, let’s be honest, it’s fruit at 10.30 am!

    So, they don’t get a spontaneous opportunity to ask for highly motivating items as that is not how school works, is it? ‘SIR! Can I have a crisp?’ At 10.02am, in the middle of maths? Didn’t think so… So in reality this does not get practised in my experience.

    A few concerns in no particular order:

    Limited Generalisation

    One issue often raised is the limited generalisation of skills learned through PECS. The structured nature of the program may result in a child only being able to communicate effectively within the specific contexts where they were taught to use the system (as I suggest above: crisps: yes, please let’s do the PECS for it). This limitation can pose challenges when trying to apply communication skills in new or unstructured/spontaneous situations.

    Lack of Spontaneity

    Critics suggest that PECS can sometimes lead to scripted and less spontaneous communication. This is also what I have observed. Since the method is designed to follow a structured progression, there is a concern that individuals might struggle to initiate communication outside of the established framework, potentially hindering their ability to engage in more natural interactions.

    Narrow range of communication functions being practised

    While PECS is quite successful in focusing on requesting and naming items, there are many other important communication functions, such as expressing emotions, asking questions, giving opinions or greetings for instance. We can argue that a communication core board where we have a whole range of different core words available lends itself much better to practising a range of communicative functions.

    The Pictures are movable

    They are attached to the book via Velcro. They are constantly being picked and exchanged and then returned to the book. This means that the pictures tend to be always in different places. This goes against the motor planning that takes place when one is learning a new skill: imagine you want to learn to touch type and the letters always move and are at different places? How can you be quick about finding a letter? You can never get to “automatic” with this type of approach.

    Communication is not taught via behavioural means

    Only if you say “banana” in the way that I dictate that you should will you get a piece of banana. Who does that? Nobody. Typically, child points to the counter where there is a banana and says: ‘ba’ or ‘ana’ and mother/carer will look over there and say ‘oh banana! You want a banana? Ok there you go have a piece.’ Or something like it. Mother will not say: ‘SAY BANANA or else you won’t get it.’ Child hears mum saying ‘Banana’ each time and with time will point and say ‘banana’ or ‘I want-a-nana’ or something. This is how communication is learned: through the adult modelling it cheerfully all day long and the child hearing it and then gradually copying it.

    One other gripe I personally have but I am reliably informed by all my parents that they share this about PECS:

    IT IS SO LABOUR INTENSIVE!

    There are 10, 50, 100’s of little pictures that first of all need laminating… then velcroing, then finding and replacing. As I said above, it’s a constant moveable feast for one, but also you LOSE them. Yep. You want to find the picture for “trampoline”. ‘Where is it? I saw it yesterday… We had it outside when we practised you asking for the trampoline. I am sure we put it back? Where is it??? Ok. We need to print off a new one.’

    It is also labour intensive for the first stage where you need to have TWO adults to ease the exchange (pick up and release of picture into the communication partner’s hand). Who has two adults available for what can be weeks until the child is able to pick up and release by themselves?

    YEP. So it’s really not for me you can tell! I much prefer Core boards (see my previous post on using one) or electronic speech generating AAC devices like GRID, or LAMP or TOUCHCHAT. These are all great to use and there is good support out there for introducing these.

    Finding a Balance

    While the concerns surrounding the PECS approach are valid, it’s fair to note that the method also has some merits. There is anecdotal evidence of many individuals who have successfully improved their communication skills and quality of life through PECS. But, finding a balance between using PECS as a stepping stone and ensuring the development of more comprehensive and SPONTANEOUS communication is key.

    As educators and therapists, we need to extend the focus beyond requesting and labelling by incorporating symbols that represent emotions, actions, and more complex ideas. This expansion encourages a broader range of communication functions. When the time is right, gradually transitioning from PECS to more advanced communication methods such as Core boards or electronic AAC tools and speech-generating devices is the way forward.

    We want to value all communication equally and our approach ought to be playful and child-led and to focus on intrinsic motivation instead of extrinsic rewards and reinforcers.

    If you have any questions or if you are looking for a therapist who endorses play-based and child-led therapy approaches, please do reach out.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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