The /R/ sound is notoriously challenging for many children (and even some adults!). It’s one of the most complex sounds in the English language, with various pronunciations depending on its position in a word. If your child is struggling with their /R/s, you’re not alone. As Speech and Language Therapists (SLTs), we frequently work on this sound, and a key component of our therapy is focusing on proper tongue placement.
Why is the /R/ so difficult?
The /R/ sound requires precise coordination of the tongue, jaw, and lips. Unlike sounds like /P/ or /B/ that involve simple lip movements, the /R/ involves intricate tongue movements and tension. There are also different ways to produce the /R/ sound, which adds to the complexity:
Retroflex /R/: The tongue tip curls up and back towards the roof of the mouth.
Bunched /R/: The body of the tongue bunches up towards the roof of the mouth, while the tongue tip remains down.
The importance of tongue placement
Regardless of which /R/ variation is being targeted, accurate tongue placement is crucial. Even a slight deviation can result in a distorted or inaccurate sound. That’s why SLTs dedicate significant time to teaching and practising tongue positioning.
Speech therapy techniques: Focusing on the tongue
Here’s a glimpse into how I address /R/ sound difficulties, with a focus on tongue placement:
Visual aids:
Mirrors: I use a mirror to help children see their tongue movements and make adjustments.
Tongue diagrams and models: These visual tools provide a clear representation of where the tongue should be positioned.
Tactile cues:
Tongue depressors: These can be used to gently guide the tongue into the correct position.
Food-grade tools: Sometimes, I use flavoured tongue depressors or other tools to provide tactile feedback and increase awareness of tongue placement.
Auditory discrimination:
I help children distinguish between correct and incorrect /R/ sounds.
I use auditory cues and verbal feedback to reinforce proper pronunciation.
Exercises and drills:
Tongue strengthening exercises: Strengthening the tongue muscles can improve control and coordination.
Tongue placement drills: We practise positioning the tongue in the desired location and holding it there.
Sound approximation techniques: Sometimes we use other sounds to help approximate the /R/ sound. For example, I use the /L/ sound, to help achieve the correct tongue placement. Once my child has found the /L/ sound it is then a matter of pulling back just slightly to get a good /R/.
Contextual practice:
Once the child can produce the /R/ sound in isolation, we gradually introduce it into syllables, words, phrases, and sentences.
We also practise the /R/ sound in different contexts, such as at the beginning, middle, and end of words.
Tips for Parents:
Be patient and supportive: Learning the /R/ sound takes time and practice.
Practise regularly: Short, frequent practice sessions are more effective than long, infrequent ones.
Make it fun! Use games, stories, and other engaging activities to keep your child motivated.
Work with an SLT: A qualified SLT can provide personalised guidance and support.
In conclusion:
The /R/ sound can be challenging, but with targeted speech therapy and a focus on tongue placement, most children can achieve clear and accurate pronunciation.
Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice
The London Speech and Feeding Practice
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
What is Speech and Language Therapy (SLT) and what does a Speech Therapist do?
Speech and language therapists provide treatment, support and care for children and adults who have difficulties with communication, eating, drinking and swallowing. We help children and adults who have problems speaking and communicating.
How to find the perfect therapist for my child/client:
There are a huge number of speech and language difficulties, or feeding and swallowing problems that we can help with and the first thing to think about is what age group the person is you are seeking help for. Most SLT’s specialise in a range of disorders and treatments and they often treat specific age ranges. This could be, for instance, very young children up to 3 years, or school aged children, adolescents or just adults. Once you have narrowed it down to age and general area of difficulty you can then go and seek your perfect SLT match.
Generally it is my view that SLT’s with a narrow area of specialist interest are most likely to help you better if the problem you or your child/adult is having is significant and/or profound. For example, if your child has a very severe stutter/stammer but is otherwise developing fine and has good skills all round, then I would recommend to look for an SLT who only specialises in stammering/stuttering, or has only a small range of other specialist areas related to stammering , such as speech and language delay.
The reason is that it is a tall order for any professional to stay up to date with latest research, latest clinical developments and training for more than, say, five distinct areas of interest.
However, a more generalist Speech therapist who has lots of experience in many different areas could be a very good option for your child or adult who has more general speech and language delay in a number of areas, perhaps a global delay or a syndrome which means that their learning is delayed in general. It also means that your child might benefit from a Generalist SLT because they have many more tools in their SLT bag and your child might need a variety of approaches for several areas.
A good place to start is www.asltip.com which is the Association for Independent Speech and Language Therapists in the UK. Any SLT registered with ASLTIP will also be registered with the HCPC (Health Care Professionals Council), as well as RCSLT (Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists). These two important UK professional regulatory bodies ensure all its members are fully qualified, and are fully up to date with latest developments within their areas of work.
Here you can enter your post code and look for a therapist near you and you can look for specific problems such as stammering for example and narrow down your search. Most therapists have a website which you can then access too. I would recommend you speak to a few therapists on your list and then go with the person you had the best rapport with. You and the therapist will be spending a lot of time together and you will need to feel that you trust them and that you can relax into the process.
How I can help you:
I have 3 main areas of specialism:
Parent Child Interaction Coaching
This is an amazing way to help children with the following difficulties:
Social Communication Difficulties, Autistic Spectrum Disordersand
Speech and Language Delay – for children under the age of 4 years old, this is my preferred way of working because it is so very effective and proven to work. If your child is not developing words or not interacting, has reduced attention and listening and you feel is not progressing or, in fact even regressing, then this way of working is the best. For anyone wanting to read a bit more about the efficacy of this method, below are some research articles. You may also like to check out www.hanen.org which is the mainstay of my work and method when it comes to Parent-Interaction Coaching. You can also look at my latest blog, entitled: Tele-therapy, does it work?
In brief, what’s so great about Parent Coaching is that it empowers you the parent to help your child in daily life! This is where speech, language and social communication develop typically, in a naturalistic way and environment. Simple steps and strategies are discussed and demonstrated every week and you are encouraged to use these strategies with your child in daily routines: getting dressed, having breakfast, on the school run, whilst out in the park or shopping or simply playing at home or having dinner or bath time. Whatever your family routine happens to be, every strategy I teach you will help create a responsive communication environment; generally, if your child is able to develop speech then they will do so in direct response to your changed interaction style.
Speech Sound Disorders, Verbal Dyspraxia, Phonology and Articulation
I love working with children of all ages on developing their speech sounds. Whether your child has a lisp, or a couple of tricky sounds they simply cannot produce quite right, or perhaps your child is really unintelligible because he/she is having lots of different sound errors, making it really hard to understand them. I typically work on getting “most bang for your buck” , meaning I address the sounds that cause the most problems and, therefore, when they are fixed your child/person’s speech becomes that much clearer fairly quickly.
Feeding and Swallowing Difficulties
Having worked for over 20 years in NHS Child Development Clinics and Special Needs Schools I trained and worked with feeding and swallowing difficulties early on in my SLT career. I later trained as a Lactation Consultant and so I am well placed helping and support all types of Infant feeding, both breast or bottle, as well as toddler weaning. I aim to ensure that your little one swallows the right kind of foods and drinks for their abilities. I am experienced in managing and supporting children with physical needs and mobility problems, Cerebral Palsy, Down Syndrome or any other type of syndrome or presentation.
What does a speech therapy session look like?
All sessions differ slightly depending on the age of the child and the nature of the difficulties.
However, mostly our sessions look like FUN! After arrival and washing hands we tend to start off with the tricky work straight away whilst our child still has energy and the will to engage. So, for speech work we will focus on the target sounds first: this could be sitting at a table doing work sheets together, playing games using the target sound and really any type of activity that gives us around 70-100 repeats of the target pattern. For example, a child who is working towards saying a ‘K’ at the end of the word I will try and get around 100 productions of words like: pack/sack/lick/ pick/bike/lake and so on.
Then we often play a fun game where I might try for a ‘rhyming’ activity or other sound awareness type activities, for perhaps 10 minutes and within that time I aim to trial the next sound pattern we need to improve on; I will test which sound your child can do with help from me. During he last 10 minutes we might look at a book, again listening to and producing whatever sound we are working on. If I did not get 100 sounds earlier on in the session I will try and practice them now as part of the story. In total I aim to have about 40-45 minutes of activities, all aimed at the target sound we are working on.
What does a Coaching session look like?
During a Parent Coaching Session we meet online for about an hour and we discuss how the week has been for you trying out the strategies. Typically parents start off recalling what went well, what progress was made and what had been more tricky. We work through it all, and then follow on to the next strategies: I will show you examples and demonstrations of each strategy and I will get you to think about how you can use this with your child and in what situation you might use it. I will explain what we are doing and what the purpose is. You might want to write down what you are going to work on for the week. Over the course of about sessions we can cover all the major strategies that are proven to help kickstart spoken language and/or help your child to connect more with you. Through that connection spoken words most often develop.
Research Papers on the Efficacy of Parent Child Interaction Coaching
The It Takes Two to Talk Program has been shown to be effective in changing how parents interact with their children, and that children’s communication and language skills improve as a result.
Baumwell, L.B., Tamis-LeMonda, C.S. & Bornstein, M.H. (1997). Maternal verbal sensitivity and child language comprehension. Infant Behavior and Development, 20(2), 247-258.
Beckwith, L. & Cohen, S.E. (1989). Maternal responsiveness with preterm infants and later competency. In M.H. Bornstein (Ed.). Maternal responsiveness: Characteristics and consequences: New directions for child development (pp. 75-87). San Francisco: Jossey Bass.
Bronfenbrenner, U. (1974). Is early intervention effective? (Publication No. (CDH) 74-25). Washington, DC: Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, Office of Child Development.
Girolametto, L. (1988). Improving the social-conversational skills of developmentally delayed children: An intervention study. Journal of Speech and Hearing Disorders, 53, 156-167.
Sonja has been a real help for my 5 year old daughter. Due to her support, my daughter is now able to clearly and correctly enunciate ‘th’ ‘f’ and ’s’. She was also helpful in making positional changes to her seating to help her concentrate better and kept her engaged throughout all the lessons which is a feat in itself on zoom!
Helen, Mother of Catherine Age 5.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
AMAZINGLY EASY Activities that we can do at home and in the clinic to help our children practise those targets!
I bet you have wondered what amazing things are done by a therapist in the clinic that you could not possibly do at home…? Well, if so I am here to tell you that you will be absolutely fine with just a few select toys and games and you will be able to get those targets done in a jiffy!
What we clinicians do very well and what you probably can’t do yourself is formulate and design the targets that are important for your child to practice. Once we have assessed or reviewed your child’s progress and needs we can then design the perfect next step of targets for you.
So for example, we have decided your little one needs to be practicing their ‘r’ sounds at the beginning of short words. We decided that based on our clinical expertise and our assessment and we have already worked with your child and managed to get this tricky ‘r’ sound just about right on its own. Now we are ready for short word practice.
It has been researched that in order for the brain pathways to re-shape or reform we need to get about 100 words in per day of our target sound. That sounds like quite a lot, right? But actually….. it’s not that bad. After all you only need to say 5-7 words about 20 times and hey presto that’s about 80-100 words.
So here are some simple games I use in my clinic all the time and these games are easily available online or in your local toy shops and this is how to do them:
Pop the Pirate
Pop the Pirate, sooo good and popular:
Lay out your target words which you will have been given by your speech therapist and put a few swords on each word.
Each time your child picks up a sword they will need to say the target word 5 x, like:
rip rip rip rip rip or run run run run run just like that in a row, bish bash bosh.
Then they can stick the sword into the barrel. Onto the next sword which they can pick and then again
race race race race race and stick in another sword
So with this little lot I put out 5 target words and 3 swords on each.
You will therefore get…… 15 words per picture, and that makes….75 words , there that is nearly all you need to do.
If you then do another little game like this one:
Magnetic board game
This is a Magnetic Board game, and they are suddenly EVERYWHERE. But you could also just take a baking sheet and some fridge magnet you might have kicking about.
Same principle as before, but now since this is your SECOND game of the day and you have already got 75 targets under your belt you only need to do one more round of 5 target words each:
Each time your child picks up a magnet piece they will say the target word 5 more times:
Ray ray ray ray ray and DONE you will now at the end of this short round have 105!! target words done with just two little fun games.
How good is this? Your child won’t hardly notice that they are in fact doing their speech therapy homework.
You’re welcome 🙂
Get in touch if you would like me to help finding good targets for your child to work on. They can be speech and/or language targets with this game method.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
Hello, and welcome. I’m writing this today to share a bit about my professional journey, a journey that has evolved over many years from a bustling, full-schedule practice to a more intentional, deeply fulfilling semi-retired life. This shift wasn’t born out of a desire to slow down, but rather an understanding of what truly matters: my time, your time, and the quality of the work we do together.
For decades, I poured my energy into a full calendar, helping as many families as I possibly could. It was a wonderful, demanding, and rewarding time. I learned so much, grew immensely as a professional, and had the privilege of witnessing countless moments of breakthrough and success. But over recent months, I began to realise that the most impactful work wasn’t about quantity; it was about quality. It was about giving my whole, undivided attention to a select few, creating an environment where true progress could flourish.
Change
This realisation led to a significant change in my practice. I am now at a point in my career where my time is both valuable and precious. It is no longer a commodity to be filled, but a resource to be invested wisely. This doesn’t just apply to my personal life, but to my professional life as well. I’ve chosen to be more selective about the clients I see, and this selectivity is rooted in a single, powerful question: ‘Who can I truly, profoundly help?’
I believe that successful therapy is a partnership. It requires commitment, trust, and a genuine connection between therapist and client. When I take on a new family, I am not just filling a slot in my schedule; I am making a deep commitment to them. I am dedicating a part of my precious time and decades of expertise to their child’s success. This is why I am now focusing on who I can really work with: families who are equally invested in the process, who understand that progress is a team effort, and who are ready to engage fully in the journey.
My fees reflect this deep investment. You will find that my rates are higher than those of many other therapists, and I want to be transparent about why. It’s a reflection of the extensive experience I bring to the table. I have spent years honing my skills, navigating complex cases, and developing a unique, effective approach to speech, language and feeding challenges. This is not just a job for me. It is my life’s work, and I honour the value of that expertise and the time I dedicate to each family.
I want to ensure that every minute you spend with me is productive, focused, and truly transformative. Therefore, I provide a ‘boutique style’ of care. Think of it as an exclusive, personalised experience where every detail is considered and your needs are at the forefront. You won’t feel like you’re just another appointment on a long list. You will feel that you have my full, undivided attention, as if you were my only client.
This means less time spent on administrative tasks and more time dedicated to preparing for your sessions, reflecting on our progress, and providing you with the most thoughtful, tailored support possible. It means an environment of calm and focused expertise, where we can truly dive deep into the specific challenges and build a clear, effective path forward.
New perspective
For parents reading this, I hope this provides a new perspective. Choosing a therapist for your child is one of the most important decisions you can make. It’s about finding not just a professional, but a partner. I want you to feel that, if we choose to work together, you are entering into a unique partnership where your child’s growth is my singular focus.
In this next chapter of my career, I am prioritising passion over pace, depth over breadth, and meaningful connections over a packed schedule. I am here to work with families who are ready for a truly collaborative and transformative experience. If you are seeking a level of care that goes beyond the standard, an approach that is both highly experienced and deeply personal, I would be honoured to speak with you.
Sonja McGeachie
Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist
Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
I think my child might be autistic – how can we help? Image by macrovector on Freepik
Consulting a Specialist Speech and Language Therapist can help you in several ways: assessment, informal and formal observation, discussion and advice, onward referrals, direct intervention, parent coaching, educational support and much more, all geared towards supporting you the parents, and helping your child to flourish and thrive.
First up, we can help you with assessment and advice: with a wealth of expertise in observing childrens’ play and communication, as well as knowledge of the latest research we can see a child’s strengths and areas of struggle very quickly indeed.
Within a short space of time, we can identify the areas we need to focus on and start guiding you towards helping your child to connect, respond, react and feel better.
Early detection is key
If autism is detected in infancy, then therapy can take full advantage of the brain’s plasticity. It is hard to diagnose Autism before 18 months but there are early signs we know to look out for. Let’s have a brief look at the sorts of things we look at.
The earliest signs of Autism involve more of an absence of typical behaviours and not the presence of atypical ones.
Often the earliest signs are that a baby is very quiet and undemanding. Some babies don’t respond to being cuddled or spoken to. Baby is being described as a ‘good baby, so quiet, no trouble at all’.
Baby is very object focused: he/she may look for long periods of time at a red spot/twinkly item further away, at the corner of the room for example.
Baby does not make eye contact: we can often see that a baby looks at your glasses for example instead of ‘connecting’ with your eyes.
At around 4 months we should see a baby copying adults’ facial expressions and some body movements, gestures and then increasingly cooing sounds we make; babies who were later diagnosed with autism were not seen to be doing this.
Baby does not respond with smiles by about 6 months.
By about 9 months, baby does not share sounds in a back-and-forth fashion.
By about 12 months baby does not respond/turn their heads when their name is called.
By around 16 months we have no spoken words; perhaps we hear sounds that sound like ‘speech’ but we cannot make out what the sounds are.
By about 24 months we see no meaningful two-word combinations that are self-generated by the toddler. We might see some copying of single words.
24 months plus:
Our child is not interested in other children or people and seems unaware of others in the same room/play area.
Our child prefers to play alone, and dislikes being touched, held or cuddled.
He/she does not share an interest or draw attention to their own achievements e.g., ‘daddy look I got a dog’.
We can see our child not being aware that others are talking to them.
We see very little creative pretend play.
In the nursery our child might be rough with other children, pushing, pinching or scratching, biting sometimes; or our child might simply not interact with others and be unable to sit in a circle when asked to.
What sort of speech and language difficulties might we see?
Our child might do any of the following:
have no speech at all, but uses body movements to request things, takes adults by the hand
repeat the same word or phrase over and over; sometimes straight away after we have said it or sometimes hours later
repeat phrases and songs from adverts or videos, nursery rhymes or what dad says every day when he gets back from work etc.
copy our way of intonation
not understand questions – and respond by repeating the question just asked:
adult: Do you want apple? child: do you want apple?
not understand directions or only high frequency directions in daily life
avoid eye contact or sometimes ‘stares’
lack of pointing or other gestures
Common behaviours:
Hand flapping
Rocking back-and-forth
Finger flicking or wriggling/moving
Lining up items/toys
Wheel spinning, spinning around self
Flicking lights on and off, or other switches
Running back-and-forth in the room, needing to touch each wall/door
Loud screaming when excited
Bashing ears when frustrated or excited
Atypical postures or walking, tip toeing, can be falling over easily, uncoordinated
Can be hyper sensitive to noises, smells, textures, foods, clothing, hair cutting, washing etc.
Being rigid and inflexible, needing to stick to routines, unable to transition into new environments
Food sensitivity, food avoidance, food phobias
I mentioned this to be a ‘brief’ look at the areas and it is: each topic is looked at very deeply and each area is multi-facetted therefore a diagnosis is rarely arrived at very quickly. We want to make sure we have covered all aspects and have got to know your child very well before coming to conclusions.
Early detection is key, because we want to start helping your child to make progress as quickly as is possible. If you feel /know that your child is delayed in their speech and language development and you would like a professional opinion then please do contact me, I look forward to supporting you. It is important to know at this point, that if your child only has one or two of the above aspects it may mean that your child is simply delayed for reasons other than Autism and if that is the case, we will be able to help you iron out a few areas of need so that your child can go on thriving.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
A submucous cleft palate (SMCP) is much less obvious than its counterparts, cleft of lip and/or palate, and can profoundly impact a child’s speech development. It leads to often extreme hyper nasal speech and difficulty with producing many sounds (/K/ /G/ /T/ /D/ /P/ /B/ /S/ /Z/ /F/ /V/).
In short, the muscles and bone of the soft palate, and sometimes the hard palate, do not fuse completely during foetal development and the mucous membrane that lines the roof of the mouth remains intact, effectively camouflaging the underlying muscular and bony deficit.
So, while the surface of the palate appears normal, the essential muscle and functions responsible for sealing off the nasal cavity from the oral cavity during speech are compromised. This cleft (or lack of muscle) can be seen as a bluish midline discoloration of the soft palate, often a bifid (split) uvula, and at times a notch in the posterior border of the hard palate can be felt upon palpation. However, these signs aren’t always present or easily discernible, contributing to the difficulty arriving at a diagnosis.
Diagnosing a submucous cleft palate is often akin to searching for a needle in a haystack, especially for the untrained eye. Unlike overt clefts that are visually apparent at birth, an SMCP can go undiagnosed for years, sometimes well into childhood or even adolescence. Paediatricians and even ENT surgeons have been known to miss it during routine checks due to the intact mucosal lining. Parents might notice their child’s speech sounds ‘different’ or ‘nasal’ but struggle to pinpoint the cause. Children might undergo extensive speech therapy without a proper diagnosis, as the underlying structural issue continues to hinder progress.
My experience as a speech therapist in private practice:
Over my years of practice, I have encountered several children presenting with persistent hyper-nasal speech and significant difficulties producing plosive and fricative sounds.
It has been incredibly rewarding, though at times challenging, to successfully diagnose SMCP in a number of these children. My approach often involves:
a meticulous oral motor examination,
careful listening for the specific qualities of hypernasality,
and a deep understanding of the physiological requirements for clear speech sound production.
When I suspect an SMCP, I refer these children to Great Ormond Street Hospital where a fantastic multidisciplinary team, typically including ENT surgeons and a specialist speech-language therapist can conduct more definitive assessments. These assessments often involve instrumental analyses such as videofluoroscopy or nasoendoscopy, which provide objective measures of velopharyngeal function and visual confirmation of the anatomical deficit.
The path to resolution: surgery, therapy, and successful outcomes
Surgery
The journey for these children, once diagnosed, often involves surgical intervention. It’s not uncommon for children with SMCP to undergo multiple operations to achieve optimal velopharyngeal closure. These procedures aim to reconstruct or augment the velopharyngeal mechanism, enabling it to effectively separate the oral and nasal cavities during speech. The specific surgical approach depends on the individual child’s anatomy and the severity of the velopharyngeal insufficiency. It’s a testament to the skill of these specialised surgeons that such intricate repairs can be performed with remarkable success.
Speech therapy
Following surgery these children embark on the crucial phase of speech therapy. While surgery addresses the structural problem, speech therapy helps a child learn to utilise their newly improved anatomy. It involves intensive work on developing oral airflow, establishing correct articulatory placement, and reducing learned compensatory strategies that have developed due to the original structural deficit. It is immensely gratifying to witness the transformation. Children who once struggled to produce basic sounds, whose speech was difficult to understand, gradually develop clear speech.
Next steps?
If you’re a parent concerned about your child’s speech and feeding, you’re not alone. The journey can feel confusing, but professional guidance can make all the difference. Never hesitate to have a second opinion when you have that niggling feeling that there is something that has not yet been explored. At London Speech and FeedingI specialise in being thorough and thinking outside the box.
I am here to provide the support you need. Reach out to schedule a consultation and take the first step towards helping your child communicate and thrive.
Sonja McGeachie
Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist
Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
There’s been a long tradition with teaching staff and with Speech and Language Therapists working in schools that eye contact should be a goal. It is well known that Autistic individuals (whether that be children or adults) mostly avoid eye contact. Whilst it’s part of the way we communicate, it shouldn’t be used as a necessity for an individual who feels that it is uncomfortable. Whilst it does show that you’re listening and showing an interest, it’s not a fair expectation for neurodiverse children.
Autistic children can find making and maintaining eye contact physically and emotionally uncomfortable as well as unnatural. It adds an extra layer of stress and has been reported to increase distractions rather than reduce them. Children who engage in conversations in their own way (i.e., with reduced eye contact) are not shown to suffer with schooling, work, or social interaction.
By having fun through meaningful activities, I often experience that ‘BINGO’ moment (a phrase coined by Alex @meaningfulspeech) where the child is enjoying themselves and naturally makes eye contact. There is no demand on them, they are in a fun, engaging environment which suit their strengths and supports their needs.
Following this, I often reflect on this question ‘Should we make eye contact as a goal?’
It very much depends on the situation. If it places more demands on the child and becomes stressful. Then no. There are many strategies we can use which gain eye contact without placing extra demands on the child. We need to be mindful to adapt the environment and not place neurotypical expectations to meet the needs of neurodiverse children.
How can you encourage eye contact without demand?
If you’re using toys, try holding them up to your eye level.
You can adjust your position, try sitting face to face during play.
Always get down to your child’s level. This might mean that you lay on the floor if your child is positioned in this way.
During play, waiting is extremely powerful. Before a key part of the activity, wait and see if your child looks at you. Remember silence is golden!
The best way I find is: do something unusual during play. It might be that you spray shaving foam with the lid still on. Or you bring out a wow toy and make it spin/light up or make a noise. A balloon can be good – see video clip. Use the excitement of the activity, and wait to see if you achieve that ‘BINGO’ moment.
Create opportunities when there are no toys involved such as during ‘tickles’ or ‘hide and seek’. Autistic children find it difficult to shift their attention between a toy and an adult. So by removing one option, you’re setting them up to succeed.
Remember, it takes practice and time for you to develop these skills. Try one at a time and experiment, see which works best for your child. If you need speech, language or communication support or advice, I am always here to help.
Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.
