The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays

ByLondon Speech and Feeding
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The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays
Supplied by Sonja McGeachie, Practice Owner

As parents and caregivers, our natural instinct when interacting with a child, especially one who struggles with communication, is often to fill every silence. We might ask lots of questions, offer constant commentary, or try to prompt him or her to speak. Our hearts are in the right place. We want to help him or her communicate! However, for children with language delays or those on the autism spectrum, this well-intentioned approach can sometimes inadvertently create more pressure and fewer opportunities for them to truly initiate and develop their own communication skills.

What if I told you that one of the most powerful tools in your communication toolkit is often silence? And that responding to your child, rather than always initiating, can unlock incredible potential?

Let’s explore why these seemingly simple strategies are so profoundly beneficial.

The unspoken benefits of silence

In our fast-paced world, silence can feel awkward, but for a child who is processing language differently, it’s a gift:

  1. Time to process: Children with language delays often need more time to process what they hear and to formulate their own thoughts or responses. When we bombard them with words, we don’t give their brains the crucial milliseconds they need to catch up. A pause of 5–10 seconds can make all the difference.
  2. Reduces pressure: Constant questioning or prompting can feel like a test. Silence removes this pressure, creating a more relaxed environment where the child feels safe to communicate without fear of being ‘wrong’ or rushed.
  3. Creates opportunity to initiate: If you’re always talking, when does your child get a turn to start the conversation? Silence opens up a space for him or her to initiate, whether it’s through a sound, a gesture, eye contact, or a word. This is vital for developing spontaneous communication.
  4. Encourages independent thinking: When a child is given space, he or she is more likely to try to figure things out himself or herself. This fosters problem-solving skills and reduces reliance on adult prompts.
  5. Prevents overwhelm (especially for ASD): Many children on the autism spectrum can be sensitive to auditory input. A constant stream of language can be overwhelming, leading to withdrawal or challenging behaviours. Strategic pauses can help them regulate and engage more effectively.

The power of responding (not just initiating)

Think of a tennis match: if only one person serves, it’s not a game. Communication is a rally, a back-and-forth exchange. When you primarily respond to your child’s communication attempts, you’re teaching him or her the rhythm of conversation:

  1. Follow the child’s lead: This is a cornerstone of effective language intervention, famously championed by programs like Hanen’s ‘It Takes Two to Talk’. When you respond to what your child is already interested in or doing, the interaction becomes immediately relevant and motivating for him or her.
  2. Validates his or her attempts: Every sound, gesture, glance, or partial word your child offers is a communication attempt. By responding to it, you’re telling him or her, ‘I see you. I hear you. Your communication matters.’ This builds immense confidence and encourages him or her to try again.
  3. Builds confidence and motivation: When a child feels understood and successful in his or her communication, he or she are more likely to communicate more often. It’s a positive feedback loop.
  4. Teaches turn-taking naturally: By taking your turn after his or hers, you model the natural flow of conversation. He or she learns that communication is a shared activity, not a one-sided lecture.
  5. Makes interactions meaningful: When you respond to his or her interests, you’re talking about things that are inherently motivating to him or her. This makes the language you use more easily understood and remembered.

Practical strategies for parents: Observe, Wait, Listen (OWL)

The Hanen Centre’s ‘Observe, Wait, Listen’ (OWL) strategy perfectly encapsulates these principles:

  • Observe: Watch your child closely. What is he or she looking at? What is he or she doing? What sounds is he or she making? What gestures is he or she using?
  • Wait: After you’ve observed, wait. Give him or her time. Resist the urge to jump in with a question or comment immediately. Count to five (or even ten) in your head. This silence is an invitation for him or her to communicate.
  • Listen: When he or she does communicate (in any way!), listen intently. Try to understand his or her message or intent.

Beyond OWL – More tips:

  • Reduce questions, increase comments: Instead of ‘What’s that?’ try ‘Oh, a big red ball!’ or ‘The car is going fast!’ Comments provide language models without demanding a verbal response.
  • Expand, don’t just prompt: If your child says ‘Car’, you could respond with ‘Yes, That’s a big car!’ or ‘It’s really fast!’ You’re building on his or her communication with a slightly richer language model.
  • Create opportunities for communication: Place desired items slightly out of reach. This creates a natural reason for your child to communicate his or her wants (e.g., reaching, pointing, vocalising).
  • Respond to all communication: Don’t just wait for words. If your child points, look where he or she is pointing and comment. If he or she makes a sound, imitate it or respond with a related word.

In summary

Embracing silence and prioritising responsiveness might feel counterintuitive at first, especially when you’re eager for your child to talk. However, these powerful strategies create a nurturing, low-pressure environment that encourages spontaneous communication, builds confidence, and truly meets your child where he or she is. By giving your child the space and the meaningful responses he or she needs, you’re laying a strong foundation for his or her communication journey.

Try incorporating these ‘quiet powers’ into your daily interactions and watch your child’s communication blossom.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

Health Professions Council registered
Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
Member of ASLTIP

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    If you’re worried about your child’s speech, you are absolutely not alone. Many parents I work with tell me the same thing:

    ‘I’ve been Googling…’
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    ‘TikTok said we should practise this sound every day…’

    It makes complete sense. When waiting lists are long, evenings are quiet, and your child is struggling to communicate, it’s natural to look for help wherever you can find it.

    AI tools can actually be helpful in some ways. But they also have clear limits especially for children with significant speech delays or speech sound disorders.

    Here’s an honest, balanced guide to what AI can do, and what it simply can’t.

    ✔️ What AI can help with

    1. Explaining things in simple language

    AI can be very helpful for explaining speech and language terms in a way that’s easy for parents to understand for example, what a phonological delay is, or what Childhood Apraxia of Speech means. It can also suggest possible reasons for a child’s speech delay based on the information you provide.

    The difficulty is that parents (or teachers) can only ask questions based on what they notice or perceive to be the problem. In practice, this doesn’t always tell the full story. For example, parents often report that their child ‘can say certain words’, but during an assessment we may find those words are actually produced with consistent error patterns. These patterns give important clues about the underlying nature of the difficulty, whether it’s a delay or a disorder and they guide the speech therapist in choosing the most effective targets to improve intelligibility.

    2. Suggesting games and activities

    AI is very good at suggesting ideas for games and practice, such as word lists, simple play activities, sound practice games, book suggestions, and ways to encourage talking within everyday routines. These can be especially helpful when you feel stuck or want some fresh inspiration for supporting your child at home. It can help to think of AI as a big ideas bank, somewhere to dip into when you need new, playful ways to keep practice engaging.

    3. Helping you prepare questions for a therapist

    Some parents use AI to list questions before an assessment, understand reports and organise concerns.

    This can make therapy feel less overwhelming and more collaborative.

    Used this way, AI can actually support the therapy process.

    ❌ Where and why AI cannot replace real life speech therapy

    There is substantial research supporting the effectiveness of real-life speech therapy compared to generic online resources or AI-generated suggestions. Here are some key points highlighting why in-person therapy is often more beneficial:

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    • Nuanced understanding: Therapists are trained to recognise subtle cues in speech production, including the nuances of sound articulation, language comprehension, and social communication. This expertise enables us to identify underlying issues that may not be apparent through generic assessments.
    • Motivational support: A speech therapist can provide encouragement, motivation, and emotional support, which can significantly enhance a child’s willingness to participate and engage in therapy. This relational aspect is crucial for building confidence and reducing anxiety around communication.
    • Evidence-based practices: As a highly trained and specialised speech therapist I utilise evidence-based practices that are grounded in research, ensuring that the techniques used are effective and up to date. This contrasts with generic online information, which may not always be reliable or validated.
    • Progress monitoring: In-person therapy allows for ongoing assessment and adjustments to the treatment plan. We track progress over time and modify strategies as needed, ensuring that the therapy remains effective and relevant.

    Research studies consistently show that individualised, face-to-face interventions lead to better outcomes in speech therapy than generalised approaches. For parents and caregivers, seeking professional help tends to provide a more effective path toward improving their child’s communication skills.

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    • Expert target selection
    • Ongoing adjustment
    • Support for both child and you the parent!

    Dear parents,

    If you’ve been turning to AI for help, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It means you care!

    But please know the best outcomes usually come from combining your daily support at home with guidance and support from your speech therapist who knows you and your child.

    Many of my past and present clients tell me that they really value my ‘handholding’ and me guiding them in between the sessions. A quick check in is often all that is needed but it makes a huge difference!

    If you’d like support or advice, please contact me and I can help guide the next steps.

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    How I use cued articulation and the visuals in Speech Therapy

    1. Cueing and practice: I introduce the appropriate card and handshapes for the targeted sounds. We then practise producing the sounds.
    2. Reinforcement and feedback: Positive reinforcement encourages progress and builds confidence.
    3. Fading out the cues: Once my student is able to say the sound more easily, we can gradually fade out the speech cues.

    Benefits and effectiveness

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    • Phonology disorders or delays: Confusion and delays in how sounds are organised in categories to convey meaning, errors in sound patterns, for example front sounds are produced at the back, or long sounds are produced as stops.
    • Stuttering: A fluency disorder characterised by interruptions in speech, such as repetitions and prolongations.

    Tips for parents and student speech therapists

    Parents can play a crucial role in supporting the implementation of cued articulation at home and in therapy sessions. Here are some tips:

    • Collaborate with your SLT: Good feedback and communication with the Speech and Language Therapist creates consistency and progress..
    • Practise Regularly: Encourage consistent practice of cued articulation at home to reinforce learning.
    • Use Visual Aids: Use the same visuals that your therapist uses in the speech clinic to help your child at home with recall and practice.

    Feel free to contact me if you need help with your child.

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    Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    The London Speech and Feeding Practice

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    Conquering the ‘slushy’ /S/: Your guide to treating lateral lisps

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    Conquering the ‘slushy’ /S/: Your guide to treating lateral lisps

    As a speech therapist, few things are as rewarding as helping a child find their clear, confident voice. Among the various speech sound disorders, the ‘lateral lisp’ – often described as a ‘slushy’ or ‘wet’ /S/ sound – presents a unique challenge. While it can be tricky to treat, I’m thrilled to share that I’ve had significant success in helping children overcome this particular hurdle.

    What is a lateral lisp?

    Most people are familiar with a frontal lisp, where the tongue protrudes between the front teeth, resulting in a /TH/ sound for an /S/ (e.g., ‘thun’ for ‘sun’). A lateral lisp, however, is different. Instead of the air escaping over the front of the tongue, it escapes over the sides, often giving the /S/ and /Z/ sounds a distinct, muffled, or ‘slushy’ quality. This happens because the tongue is not forming the correct central groove, allowing air to spill out laterally.

    The science behind a perfect /S/ vs. a slushy one

    To understand how to fix a lateral lisp, it’s helpful to understand how a ‘perfect’ /S/ sound is made. Imagine a narrow, focused stream of air. For a clear /S/ sound, your tongue forms a shallow groove down its centre, directing a precise, thin stream of air right down the middle, over the tip of your tongue, and out through a tiny opening between your tongue and the roof of your mouth, just behind your front teeth. This focused airflow creates that crisp, sharp /SSSS/ sound we recognise.

    Now, picture what happens with a lateral lisp. Instead of that neat, central channel, the tongue is often flatter or positioned in a way that allows the air to escape over one or both sides. Think of it like a river overflowing its banks – the air, instead of flowing in a controlled stream, spills out sideways, creating that characteristic ‘slushy’ sound. This lateral airflow is what we need to retrain.

    Why is it tricky to treat?

    Treating a lateral lisp can be challenging for a few reasons:

    • Habitual muscle memory: The way the tongue moves and positions itself for a lateral lisp is deeply ingrained. It’s a motor habit that needs to be unlearned and replaced with a new, more precise movement.
    • Subtle differences: The difference between a lateral lisp and a correct /S/ sound can be quite subtle to perceive, both for the child and sometimes even for parents. This makes it harder for the child to self-monitor and correct.
    • Oral motor control: It requires fine motor control of the tongue muscles to create and maintain that central groove for airflow.

    My success with children aged six years and over

    I’ve found great success in treating lateral lisps, particularly with children aged six years and older. Why this age group? By this age, children typically have:

    • Increased awareness: They are more aware of their speech and often more motivated to make changes. They can better perceive the difference between their ‘slushy’ /S/ and a clear one.
    • Improved cognitive skills: They can understand and follow more complex instructions and strategies.
    • Better self-monitoring: Their ability to listen to themselves and correct their own speech improves significantly.
    • Enhanced oral motor control: Their fine motor skills, including those of the tongue, are more developed, allowing for greater precision.

    My approach focuses on a combination of auditory discrimination, tactile cues, and targeted myofunctional exercises to help children ‘feel’ the correct airflow and tongue placement. We use a variety of engaging activities to make the process fun and effective.

    It is crucial to understand tongue functioning and focusing on correcting improper oral resting posture and muscle function, which are often significant contributors to a lateral lisp. For example, if the tongue rests low and wide in the mouth consistently, or if there’s a tongue thrust during swallowing, these habits can prevent the tongue from achieving the precise, midline placement necessary for a clear /S/ or /Z/ sound. Through targeted exercises I aim to re-educate the oral and facial muscles, promoting correct tongue posture at rest, during swallowing, and, ultimately, during speech production. By strengthening the muscles responsible for tongue lifting and encouraging a more appropriate swallowing pattern we can establish the correct oral motor skills needed to overcome a lateral lisp and achieve clearer articulation.

    The recipe for success: Little and often

    The single most crucial ingredient for success in treating a lateral lisp is daily home practice of all the strategies given. This isn’t about long, arduous sessions; it’s about consistency. Think of it like building a muscle: short, frequent workouts yield better results than sporadic, intense ones.

    My recommended formula is ‘little and often’. This means:

    • Short, focused sessions: Aim for 5-10 minutes of practice, 2-3 times a day. This prevents fatigue and keeps the child engaged.
    • Integrate into daily routines: Practise while waiting for dinner, during a car ride, or before bedtime. Make it a natural part of their day.
    • Positive reinforcement: Celebrate every small success! Encouragement goes a long way in building confidence and motivation.
    • Parental involvement: Parents play a vital role in providing consistent cues and encouragement at home. I equip families with clear, easy-to-follow strategies.

    Overcoming a lateral lisp requires dedication, but with the right guidance and consistent practice, a clear, confident /S/ sound is achievable. If your child is struggling with a ‘slushy’ /S/, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we can achieve success!

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
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    One toy, endless targets: How to grow consonant clusters, core words and colours with one flower garden toy

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    Sonja McGeachie with the build-a-flower garden toy

    If you’ve been following me for a while you already know my absolute favourite rule for speech therapy: let the toy work for you. You don’t need an entire cabinet full of different flashcards or games to target a massive range of speech goals (though truth be told I do have 4 cabinets! What am I saying…) but often I find that sticking to one highly engaging, open-ended toy reduces a child’s cognitive load, keeps them firmly planted in play, and gives you dozens of natural opportunities for high-repetition practice. It also reduced my cognitive load!

    In today’s post we are looking at a classic: The build-a-flower garden toy. A link is here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fivejoy-Flower-Garden-Building.

    This vibrant, stacking toy isn’t just great for fine motor skills. It is an absolute goldmine for speech therapy. While it is incredible for targeting tricky consonant clusters (blends) like /ST/, /SP/, /SPR/, /FL/, /BL/, and /GR/, it is equally powerful for building functional core vocabulary.

    1. Digging deep with /ST/

    Let’s start building our garden.

    Stem & stalk: ‘Look at this long stem!’ or ‘Can you put the stem in?’ or ‘do you want the green or the red stem’?

    • Stuck: If a piece is a little tight to push down, it’s a brilliant opportunity for a natural exclamation: ‘Oh no, it’s stuck! Help me!’
    • Stand: Once it’s secure, you can celebrate: ‘it can stand up now!’
    • 👉 Core word integration: Use this setup stage to practise ANOTHER ONE. As you hold the base pieces, wait for the child to use their words or AAC device to request, ‘I want another one!’ before handing over the next stem.

    2. Sowing seeds with /SP/ and /SPR/

    Every good gardener needs the right equipment and a close eye for detail. We can introduce tools and descriptive language to hit our /SP/ and triple-blend /SPR/ targets.

    • Spade: Grab a toy shovel or pretend to use one. ‘Let’s dig a hole with the spade.’
    • Spot: Point to the holes on the base. ‘Find a good spot for this flower.’
    • Sprout: Talk about the little green pieces: ‘Look at the little sprout!’
    • 👉 Core word integration: Build on spontaneous requesting here. If they are eyeing a specific piece, model a full phrase like: ‘I WANT THE PINK ONE.’

    3. /FL/ and fine motor actions

    Now, we can start adding the colourful petals.

    • Flower: This is your high-frequency word for the entire activity. ‘Put the green/blue/pink flower on top.’
    • Flat & flutter: ‘This piece is flat on the ground,’ or ‘The butterfly flutters by!’
    • 👉 Core word integration: This stage is perfect for teaching directional actions. Every time they stack a petal onto a stem, model the core phrase: ‘PUT IT ON!’

    4. Blending it all together with /BL/

    Building a garden is a fantastic sensory experience because of the vivid colours. We can lean heavily into the /BL/ sound by focusing on colour selection and the action of growth.

    • Blue & bloom: ‘Should we use a blue flower?’ and ‘Watch it bloom!’
    • Blade & blend: Point out the blades of grass and talk about how we blend all the colours together.
    • 👉 Core word integration: Don’t just focus on putting the toy together, taking it apart is half the fun! If a child places a piece they don’t want, or when it’s time to clean up, model: ‘TAKE IT OFF.’

    5. Working the /GR/

    Finally, we look at the environment supporting our garden. The /GR/ blend can be targeted by looking downward at the base of our toy setup.

    • Green: Nearly every stem and base piece in this toy is a vibrant shade of green.
    • Grass & ground: ‘Put the base down on the ground.’ ‘Look at the green grass.’
    • 👉 Core word integration: Combine your /GR/ blend with a powerful core phrase. As you pull a stem upward slowly or stack the petals higher and higher, chant together: ‘MAKE IT GROW! Grow, grow, grow!’

    Maximise your repetitions in play

    The beauty of the flower garden toy is its repetitive nature. Because a child builds multiple flowers, you aren’t just saying a word or a phrase once, you have the potential to repeat it 10, 15, or 20 times in a single sitting without the child losing interest.

    By layering structural speech sounds (like blends) over functional communication phrases (like core words), we give children words they can use across their entire day.

    What toy would you like to see us target next in our series? Let me know in the comments on Instagram, and don’t forget to swipe through the carousel there to save these word lists for your next playtime!

    If you are concerned about your child’s speech, please do not hesitate to get in touch. I would love to help you find some answers.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • The art of selective care: My journey as a semi-retired private therapist

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding

    Welcome!

    Hello, and welcome. I’m writing this today to share a bit about my professional journey, a journey that has evolved over many years from a bustling, full-schedule practice to a more intentional, deeply fulfilling semi-retired life. This shift wasn’t born out of a desire to slow down, but rather an understanding of what truly matters: my time, your time, and the quality of the work we do together.

    For decades, I poured my energy into a full calendar, helping as many families as I possibly could. It was a wonderful, demanding, and rewarding time. I learned so much, grew immensely as a professional, and had the privilege of witnessing countless moments of breakthrough and success. But over recent months, I began to realise that the most impactful work wasn’t about quantity; it was about quality. It was about giving my whole, undivided attention to a select few, creating an environment where true progress could flourish.

    Change

    This realisation led to a significant change in my practice. I am now at a point in my career where my time is both valuable and precious. It is no longer a commodity to be filled, but a resource to be invested wisely. This doesn’t just apply to my personal life, but to my professional life as well. I’ve chosen to be more selective about the clients I see, and this selectivity is rooted in a single, powerful question: ‘Who can I truly, profoundly help?’

    I believe that successful therapy is a partnership. It requires commitment, trust, and a genuine connection between therapist and client. When I take on a new family, I am not just filling a slot in my schedule; I am making a deep commitment to them. I am dedicating a part of my precious time and decades of expertise to their child’s success. This is why I am now focusing on who I can really work with: families who are equally invested in the process, who understand that progress is a team effort, and who are ready to engage fully in the journey.

    My fees reflect this deep investment. You will find that my rates are higher than those of many other therapists, and I want to be transparent about why. It’s a reflection of the extensive experience I bring to the table. I have spent years honing my skills, navigating complex cases, and developing a unique, effective approach to speech, language and feeding challenges. This is not just a job for me. It is my life’s work, and I honour the value of that expertise and the time I dedicate to each family.

    I want to ensure that every minute you spend with me is productive, focused, and truly transformative. Therefore, I provide a ‘boutique style’ of care. Think of it as an exclusive, personalised experience where every detail is considered and your needs are at the forefront. You won’t feel like you’re just another appointment on a long list. You will feel that you have my full, undivided attention, as if you were my only client.

    This means less time spent on administrative tasks and more time dedicated to preparing for your sessions, reflecting on our progress, and providing you with the most thoughtful, tailored support possible. It means an environment of calm and focused expertise, where we can truly dive deep into the specific challenges and build a clear, effective path forward.

    New perspective

    For parents reading this, I hope this provides a new perspective. Choosing a therapist for your child is one of the most important decisions you can make. It’s about finding not just a professional, but a partner. I want you to feel that, if we choose to work together, you are entering into a unique partnership where your child’s growth is my singular focus.

    In this next chapter of my career, I am prioritising passion over pace, depth over breadth, and meaningful connections over a packed schedule. I am here to work with families who are ready for a truly collaborative and transformative experience. If you are seeking a level of care that goes beyond the standard, an approach that is both highly experienced and deeply personal, I would be honoured to speak with you.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1