How parent coaching turns story time into a communication success

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We often hear from parents who are trying their best to connect with their child, especially when reading books, but are met with frustration. They’ll say, ‘I read the book exactly as it’s written, but my child can’t focus for very long and just runs off!’ or ‘my child just flicks through the pages then turns it upside down and runs off with it’ or similar.

It’s a common story. Traditional reading—going through the text from cover-to-cover—has its place of course, but for little ones with a language delay or autism it can move too quickly and place all the focus on the book’s words, not on the interaction.

But what if I told you that story time could become one of the most fun and productive times for your child’s communication development?

Watch the fantastic little video clip above! You can see the pure joy and connection between this dad and his son. This is the same family who, just a few weeks ago, felt defeated when trying to read a book, with their child quickly losing interest and leaving the reading/book corner.

What changed?

The power of parent coaching and Hanen principles

The difference you see in the video is the direct result of parent interaction therapy, or parent coaching, based on the internationally recognised Hanen principles.

I didn’t ‘fix’ the child. Instead, I coached the parents in a few simple, powerful strategies that completely changed the dynamic of their interaction. Instead of being a time for teaching and instruction, story time became a back-and-forth conversation.

Here are the four major transformations that coaching helped this family achieve:

1. From reader to play partner

Before coaching, the parents felt their job was to read the text and to teach the words in it to their child. Now, their job is to follow their child’s lead. They learned to Observe, Wait, and Listen (OWL). If the child points to the tree or the badger on the page, the parent talks about the tree or the badger.

The result

The child is now initiating and leading the conversation! He is sharing what he finds interesting, which makes him feel powerful and keeps him deeply engaged.

2. Building connection and attention

When parents focus solely on reading, they often forget to make frequent eye contact and use animated facial expressions. The principles taught them to put the text aside and prioritise connection.

The result

Our little boy is looking at his dad more frequently, making great eye contact, and clearly having fun! When the interaction is fun, the child’s attention span naturally lengthens, allowing him to attend to the book and the interaction for a much longer time.

3. Creating opportunities for communication

The parents learned simple ways to prompt communication without pressure. They stopped asking knowledge-based questions (‘What colour is that? Or point to the pig!’), which can feel like a test.

Instead, they learned to use techniques like ‘Saying less and pausing’ or ‘copying their little one’s echolalia ‘, signalling that they are very interested in what he is saying and that his communication matters!

The result

The child is now spontaneously using strings of sounds and gestures to communicate his needs and interests, knowing and enjoying his parents’ enthusiastic responses.

This video is a testament to the fact that you are your child’s best therapist. With the right tools and coaching, you can transform everyday routines, like reading a book, into the most joyful and effective communication sessions.

4. Acknowledging and interpreting echolalia

In the video, you may hear the little boy repeat a phrase from the book or from what his dad just said. This is called echolalia, and for a long time, it was often dismissed or discouraged.

However, a core principle of our parent coaching is that echolalia is communication. For children who are ‘Gestalt Language Processors,’ these memorised phrases (or ‘gestalts’) are their building blocks of language.

The key is not to stop the repetition, but to become a ‘language detective’ and ‘interpreter’!

By modelling the correct, first-person phrase right after the echo, parents/caregivers are teaching a child how to break down the ‘chunk’ and use the individual words functionally. They are showing their child: ‘I heard you. Your communication makes sense to me.’

This strategy is a game-changer because it:

  1. Validates the child’s communication: It honours the child’s natural way of learning language, which boosts their confidence and willingness to communicate.
  2. Facilitates language development: It provides the child with the next step—a meaningful, functional phrase—to move them from repeating language to generating their own spontaneous sentences.

Look at the child’s face again in the video. When his dad acknowledges and interprets his communication, you see that spark of joy and connection—that’s the moment when true, functional language learning happens!

Ready to unlock the potential in your family’s story time? Contact me to learn more about our parent coaching programs.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


Health Professions Council registered
Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
Member of ASLTIP

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Tongue training: Why tongue placement matters for clear speech

    As speech and Language therapists (SLTs), we know that where your tongue goes, so goes your sound. This blog post will explore why tongue placement is so vital for speech correction and how we use tools and techniques to help our clients find their ‘sweet spot’ for sound production.

    Let me show you here a little video clip where I am using my dentist’s mouth/teeth model to help my clients navigate their tongue movements.

    The tongue: A tiny muscle with a big job

    The tongue is a small but mighty muscle. It’s incredibly versatile, playing a key role in eating, swallowing, and, of course, speaking. For each speech sound, the tongue, along with the lips and jaw, needs to move to a very specific spot. Think of it like a dance: every part of your mouth has a choreographed movement to produce the correct sound. If the tongue is out of sync, the sound comes out muffled, distorted, or just plain wrong.

    The trouble with our tongue movements is that most of us never think about how the tongue has to move and what it does to: swallow, chew, drink, suck and speak. Most parents when asked to think about their own tongue placement for say the /S/ sound are completely lost as to what their tongue is doing. Yet, of course, they produce a perfect /S/ and perfect speech in general. The same goes for swallowing. When did you last think about what happens in your mouth when you swallow? I bet you have not thought about it. We ‘just do it’, right?

    Why is tongue placement so important?

    Accurate tongue placement is the foundation of clear articulation. When a child struggles with a particular sound, it’s often because his or her tongue isn’t quite reaching the right spot or moving in the correct way. For example, the /S/ sound requires the tongue to be slightly raised and positioned behind the top teeth, creating a narrow channel for air to flow through. If the tongue is too far forward, you might get a /TH/ sound instead. If it’s too far back, the /S/ can sound muffled.

    Visual aids: Our secret weapon

    We SLTs love our visual aids! They’re incredibly helpful for showing clients exactly where their tongue needs to be. Here are some of our favourite tools:

    • Mirrors: Mirrors provide instant feedback. Clients can see their tongue’s position and make adjustments in real-time. We often use hand mirrors or even the mirror on a compact for quick checks.
    • Tongue depressors: These simple tools can gently guide the tongue to the correct position. We might use them to show where the tongue tip should rest for the /L/ sound or how the sides of the tongue should touch the molars for the /K/ and /G/ sounds.
    • Diagrams and models: Pictures and models of the mouth can help clients visualise the tongue’s movements. We might use a cross-section diagram of the mouth to show how the tongue forms different sounds.

    Beyond the tongue: The jaw’s role

    While the tongue takes centre stage, the jaw plays a supporting role. It provides a stable base for the tongue and helps control the opening and closing of the mouth. Sometimes, jaw stability is an issue, and we might use techniques to help clients find a comfortable and stable jaw position.

    Making it fun and engaging

    Learning correct tongue placement can be challenging, but we make it fun! We use games, stories, and playful activities to keep clients motivated. For younger children, we might use silly voices or pretend to be animals. For older children, we might incorporate their interests, like using a car analogy for tongue movements.

    The takeaway

    Correct tongue placement is essential for clear speech. By using visual aids, interactive techniques, and a bit of creativity, we can help our clients master their speech sounds and communicate with confidence.

    If you have any concerns about your child’s speech, don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified speech and language therapist, we are here to help! Contact me via my contact form.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Early Intervention Speech and Language Therapist

    Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    The London Speech and Feeding Practice


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    What to do when words don’t come fast enough

    What to do when words don’t come fast enough

    When children find talking hard, parents often face a difficult question: ‘Should we wait and keep encouraging speech? Or introduce something like AAC?’

    AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) can sound intimidating, but it simply means any way we support or replace spoken words, from simple gestures and picture boards to high-tech speech-generating devices. Far from ‘giving up on speech,’ AAC often becomes the bridge that helps children find their voice, in whatever form that takes.

    💡 What is AAC, really?

    AAC is a spectrum of tools and strategies that help people express themselves when speaking is difficult. It might include:

    • Low-tech supports: Gestures, key word signs (like Makaton), picture symbols, or printed boards
    • High-tech systems: Apps on tablets that speak aloud when pictures or words are tapped

    AAC is not just for children who will never talk. It’s for anyone whose speech isn’t meeting their communication needs right now.

    🤔 When to introduce AAC

    There’s a common myth that you should only try AAC after ‘exhausting’ other speech therapy options. In fact, AAC can be introduced at any stage, even alongside speech development.

    Here are some helpful signs that AAC might support your child:

    • Your child understands much more than they can say.
    • They rely on gestures, sounds, or behaviour to communicate.
    • They become frustrated trying to express themselves.
    • You find yourself ‘reading their mind’ to interpret needs.
    • Speech progress feels slow or inconsistent.

    If you recognise these patterns, AAC isn’t a ‘last resort’. It’s a communication support, not a replacement for speech.

    Recent research consistently shows that AAC does not stop children from talking. In fact, it can encourage speech to develop. A 2024 systematic review and meta-analysis published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that children who received interventions combining naturalistic developmental behavioural approaches with aided AAC showed improved language outcomes, and that AAC ‘does not negatively impact speech development and may even facilitate spoken language growth’ (Smith et al., 2024).

    🌉 How AAC supports speech development

    Speech and AAC aren’t competing paths: they’re parallel tracks that often feed each other.

    Here’s how AAC helps speech grow:

    1. Reduces frustration: When a child can express their needs, they’re more relaxed and ready to learn.
    2. Provides a visual model: Seeing symbols or words while hearing spoken language strengthens understanding and word recall.
    3. Builds consistent language structure: AAC systems follow the same grammar and word order as speech, helping children internalise how sentences work.
    4. Encourages turn-taking and social connection: AAC lets children join conversations even before speech is fluent, giving them more practice in real communication.

    AAC is not ‘giving up on speech’. It’s giving a child more ways to succeed while speech continues to develop.

    🧩 How to introduce AAC gently and effectively

    1. Start small and meaningful: Begin with a few key messages your child wants to say, not just what adults want to hear. Think ‘I want’, ‘stop’, ‘help’, ‘more’, ‘all done’, ‘no’, ‘again’. These are powerful words for real interaction and autonomy.
    2. Model, model, model: The most important part of AAC success is modelling—using the system yourself as you talk. For example: ‘You want banana 🍌’ and you tap the ‘want’ and ‘banana’ symbols. Children need to see and hear AAC used naturally before they try it themselves.
    3. Use it throughout the day: AAC isn’t a therapy tool to take out once a week. It’s a living part of communication. Model a few words during mealtimes, play, and routines. The more consistently it’s embedded, the more fluent both you and your child will become.
    4. Keep it accessible: If using a device or picture board, make sure it’s always nearby. If it’s in a bag or drawer, it can’t be used in real moments.
    5. Celebrate all communication: If your child points, signs, uses a sound, or taps a symbol, it all counts. Respond warmly and naturally to reinforce communication in any form.

    🧠 What parents often worry about

    • ‘Won’t AAC stop them from talking?’: No. Research shows AAC use either has no negative effect on speech or leads to increased spoken output (Smith et al., 2024). When children feel understood, their motivation to communicate grows.
    • ‘What if I model it wrong?’: There’s no perfect way to start. Your effort and consistency matter far more than accuracy.
    • ‘Will they get ‘stuck’ using pictures?’:  Some children do continue using AAC long-term; others move naturally toward more spoken language. The goal is always functional communication, not replacing one form with another.

    🪞 Bringing AAC into daily life

    Here are a few simple, parent-friendly ideas:

    • Create visual spaces: Post symbols or core words on the fridge, mirror, or play area.
    • Narrate routines: Use AAC during toothbrushing, dressing, or mealtimes; consistent contexts build understanding.
    • Pair speech and touch: Always say the word aloud when you point to or tap a symbol.
    • Involve siblings and friends: Model how they can respond to AAC too. ‘Oh, you said go! Let’s go fast!’
    • Use shared books and songs: Pause and model key words in stories or songs.

    🌱 The takeaway

    AAC doesn’t mean giving up on speech; it means opening more doors to communication. When words don’t come easily, AAC gives children a way to connect, share, and be heard.

    It helps parents move from guessing to understanding, and gives children the power to express themselves on their own terms.

    If you’re unsure where to start, reach out to a speech and language therapist experienced in AAC. Together, you can find a system that fits your child’s strengths, build confidence in modelling, and help every word (spoken or tapped) feel like a step forward.

    And download and print my one page summary.

    Because when communication is possible, everything else begins to grow.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    📚 Reference

    Smith, K., et al. (2024). The Effect of Naturalistic Developmental Behavioral Interventions and Aided AAC on the Language Development of Children on the Autism Spectrum with Minimal Speech: A Systematic Review and Meta‑Analysis. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 55, 3078–3099. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-024-06382-7


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    2
  • ·

    Why Imitation is so Important

    Target Activities and Games For Kids

    Why imitation is so important and how can speech and language therapy help children who struggle to imitate?

    Imitation or copying starts in early infancy. When we observe a young baby and his parent or familiar adult we can see clearly and frequently that the baby will be intently looking at adult’s face and try to copy their facial expressions, smiles and all those funny baby sounds we often make with young babies.

    These sounds are called “motherese” and are the beginnings of a little conversation between the parent and the baby. The “conversation can go back and forth for a long time and include sounds, as well as facial expressions.

    A little later on, once the baby can crawl and sit up unaided the copying then goes on to include toys and objects. Mum or Dad will show their toddler how to use a drum or how to put a little train on the wooden tracks and the toddler will try and copy this. They may not succeed and be a little clumsy perhaps but the act of copying anything and everything their favourite adult does is typically seen throughout the day.

    We all know and have laughed at mums or dads saying; ssshhh don’t say that in front of the baby he/she will copy you, watch your mouth! (as dad is swearing at the broken radiator….)

    This imitation goes on for years and includes eventually of course little words, more words, putting words together and then creating sentences, all the while our toddler is listening to how their adults speak, not only what they say but how they say it. This is how dialects and accents can be transmitted easily from parent /family to child.

    Copying in Children with Autism

    We know that children with autism often struggle to imitate. We see children on the spectrum typically having great difficulty to copy adults or children; this can be seen in very reduced play with their peers in nursery for example.

    Children with autism tend to have reduced joint attention and engagement with others and need to develop the ability and awareness to copy others in order to then engage more jointly with others.

    Speech and Language Therapy can help with Parent Child Interaction work and Coaching, here is how:

    During my coaching work with parents I teach step by step how to help a child who struggles to imitate:

    We look at all the researched skills and actions that adults can take to help their little one to copy, starting with close observation of their child’s interests, then following and including their child’s play and copying/imitating their child in how they play. I teach steps in a graduated way so that it is easy to see the progress and joyful to have the results at the end.

    The results are clear to see over time: our children on the spectrum learn to imitate actions, with objects and gestures, then sounds and words. Alongside this increased imitation skill the child can then develop more joint attention and engagement.

    I would always recommend Parent Child Interaction Training as a first port of call as we learn so many great techniques which are well researched by the Hanen Programme, www.hanen.org. Do drop me a line if you would like to find out more.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

  • · ·

    Why auditory memory matters (especially for little ones!)

    Why auditory memory matters (especially for little ones!)

    Have you ever stopped to think about how we learn to speak, understand, and communicate effectively? It’s a complex dance of various cognitive skills, and one often overlooked but absolutely crucial player in this orchestra is auditory memory. It’s not just about remembering sounds. It’s about remembering sequences of sounds, which is fundamental to language development.

    What exactly is auditory memory?

    At its core, auditory memory is our ability to take in, process, store, and recall information that we hear. Think of it as your brain’s internal recording studio. When someone speaks to you, your auditory memory is busy at work, capturing the individual sounds, the order in which they appear, and the rhythm and intonation of the words. This isn’t just for long-term recall; it’s also vital for working auditory memory, which allows us to hold onto a small amount of auditory information for a short period, just long enough to make sense of it.

    For speech and language, auditory memory is essential for:

    • Understanding spoken language: To comprehend a sentence, we need to remember the beginning of the sentence by the time we hear the end.
    • Following instructions: Remembering a sequence of commands relies heavily on auditory memory.
    • Learning new words: We hear a word, remember its sound, and connect it to its meaning.
    • Developing phonological awareness: This is the ability to recognise and manipulate the sounds in spoken language, a critical precursor to reading. Auditory memory helps children distinguish between similar-sounding words (e.g., ‘cat’ vs. ‘bat’) and segment words into individual sounds.
    • Producing clear speech: To articulate words correctly, we need to recall the precise sequence of sounds that make up that word.
    • Developing conversational skills: Remembering what was just said helps us formulate appropriate responses.

    When auditory memory falls short: The impact on speech

    When auditory memory is poor, particularly in young children, the ripple effects on speech and language development can be significant. Children might struggle with:

    • Following multi-step directions: ‘Put on your shoes, get your coat, and meet me at the door’ can become an overwhelming jumble of sounds.
    • Learning new vocabulary: They might hear a new word repeatedly but struggle to retain its sound pattern, making it difficult to recognise or use later.
    • Understanding stories or conversations: Missing key details or losing the thread of a narrative because they can’t hold enough information in their working memory.
    • Developing phonological skills: Difficulty with rhyming, identifying initial sounds in words, or blending sounds together to form words, which can impact early literacy.
    • Speech production: They might mispronounce words, omit sounds, or struggle with the correct sequencing of sounds within words.
    • Social communication: Difficulty participating in group discussions, remembering names, or recalling what their peers have said.
    • Academic performance: Auditory memory challenges can impact a child’s ability to learn in a classroom setting, where much of the instruction is delivered verbally.

    It’s important to note that poor auditory memory isn’t a sign of low intelligence, but rather a specific processing challenge that can be addressed with targeted support.

    Nurturing auditory memory in under 5s: Preparing for schooling

    The good news is that auditory memory is a skill that can be strengthened and developed, especially during the crucial early years. For children under five, laying a strong foundation in auditory memory is an invaluable gift as they prepare for the demands of formal schooling. Here’s what we can do to help:

    1. Read aloud regularly: This is perhaps one of the most powerful tools. As you read, encourage your child to listen for specific words, predict what happens next, and retell parts of the story. Vary your voice, use different intonations, and pause to emphasise key words.
    2. Play auditory memory games:
      • ‘Simon says’: This classic game is fantastic for following multi-step instructions. Start with one command and gradually increase the number.
      • ‘I Spy’ with sounds: Instead of colours, describe sounds. ‘I spy with my little ear something that goes “moo”.’
      • Rhyming games: Sing rhyming songs, read rhyming books, and encourage your child to come up with words that rhyme.
      • Sound matching: Use everyday objects to make sounds (e.g., shaking keys, tapping a spoon) and have your child identify or match them.
      • ‘Memory chain’: Start a sentence and have your child add to it, remembering everything that came before: ‘I went to the market and bought an apple.’ ‘I went to the market and bought an apple and a banana.’
    3. Sing songs and nursery rhymes: Repetitive songs and nursery rhymes are excellent for developing auditory memory, rhythm, and phonological awareness. The predictable patterns help children anticipate and remember sequences of sounds and words.
    4. Give multi-step instructions (and praise!): Start with two-step instructions and gradually increase the complexity as your child’s skills improve. Always give positive reinforcement when they succeed. ‘Please pick up the red block and put it in the box.’
    5. Engage in active listening: Model good listening skills yourself. When your child is speaking, give them your full attention. Ask clarifying questions to encourage them to elaborate and organise their thoughts.
    6. Reduce background noise: A quiet environment makes it easier for young children to focus on auditory information. Minimise distractions like TV or loud music during activities that require listening.
    7. Use visual cues: While we’re focusing on auditory memory, sometimes pairing auditory information with visual cues can be helpful, especially initially. For example, when giving instructions, demonstrate the action as you say it.
    8. Be patient and consistent: Developing auditory memory takes time and consistent practice. Celebrate small victories and create a playful, supportive environment for learning.

    By actively engaging in these strategies, we can empower our youngest learners to build robust auditory memory skills, setting them up for success not only in speech and language development but also in their overall academic journey. It’s an investment that truly pays dividends in their future communication and learning abilities.

    Any comments or if you need help and support with your child’s speech please do not hesitate to get in touch with me: simply fill out the contact form here on the website. I endeavour to reply within 48 hours.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
  • · ·

    The power of containment: A therapeutic approach for autistic children

    Photo by lemonlenz

    The practice of wrapping or swaddling children, often referred to as ‘containment,’ has been used for centuries to soothe and comfort infants. I use this therapeutic approach with autistic children at the London Speech and Feeding Practice. While it might seem counterintuitive, the act of being tightly wrapped can provide significant benefits for children who struggle with sensory processing, emotional regulation, and communication.

    Understanding sensory processing and autism

    Autistic persons often experience challenges with sensory processing, which is their brain’s ability to interpret and respond to sensory information. This can lead to sensory overload or under-responsivity. Containment can be a valuable tool in helping children regulate their sensory input.

    Photo by lemonlenz

    To summarise, here are some of the benefits of containment:

    • Sensory Regulation:
      • Provides deep pressure input: The tight, enveloping sensation of being wrapped can provide deep pressure input, which is calming and organising for many children.
      • Reduces sensory overload: By creating a controlled sensory environment, containment can help to reduce overstimulation and promote a sense of safety.
    • Emotional Regulation:
      • Containment creates a sense of security: Being wrapped tightly can mimic the feeling of being in the womb, providing a sense of security and comfort.
      • Facilitates calming: The deep pressure input can help to calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety.
    • Improved Body Awareness:
      • Enhances proprioception: Containment can improve the child’s awareness of their body in space, which is essential for motor development and sensory integration. I often provide extra pressure on a child’s arms and legs sticking out of the yoga mat; this helps my child understand where their limbs are in space: I can feel my legs and I can feel my arms and I can feel where they are right now, i.e. they are under Sonja’s hand, I can feel them.
    • Facilitates Communication – and this is obviously where I come in as a Speech and Language Therapist:
      • Swaddling creates a safe space: When a child feels calm and secure, they are more likely to engage in communication.
      • Enhances joint attention: The shared experience of being wrapped can foster joint attention, which is essential for language development. You can see this one in my highlights where I swaddle my student in the yoga mat (picture above). She absolutely loves it, and what is more she is calm and steady when usually this child likes to be on the move constantly. Here we have a wonderful moment of joint engagement. She looks at me, she can listen to what I say or sing, and she can tell me in her own way to carry on rolling her or to carry on singing or providing calming pressure to her legs and arms or to stop.

    A few pointers for when you try this at home: How to practise containment safely and effectively

    • Create a safe environment: Ensure the wrapping material is soft, breathable, and free from any hazards.
    • Observe your child’s cues: Pay attention to your child’s body language and verbal cues to determine their comfort level.
    • Respect your child’s boundaries: If your child shows signs of distress, stop the containment immediately – this might seem obvious but sometimes we adults get so carried away with some ‘great idea’ that we have seen work elsewhere. And so we can be a little too ‘determined’ sometimes to ‘make it happen’… perhaps this rings a bell with some of my readers.
    • MAKE IT FUN: Start carefully and take it step by step. See if the student is having a nice time. It is all about trust and therefore it might not work the very first time you do it.

    It’s important to remember that containment is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Some children may respond better to other sensory-based interventions. However, for many autistic children containment can be a valuable tool in their journey towards improved communication and emotional regulation.

    For more information follow me on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Early Intervention Speech and Language Therapist

    Feeding and Dysphagia (Swallowing) Specialist The London Speech and Feeding Practice

    The London Speech and Feeding Practice


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
  • ·

    Let’s relax about making EYE CONTACT already…

    There’s been a long tradition with teaching staff and with Speech and Language Therapists working in schools that eye contact should be a goal. It is well known that Autistic individuals (whether that be children or adults) mostly avoid eye contact. Whilst it’s part of the way we communicate, it shouldn’t be used as a necessity for an individual who feels that it is uncomfortable. Whilst it does show that you’re listening and showing an interest, it’s not a fair expectation for neurodiverse children.

    Autistic children can find making and maintaining eye contact physically and emotionally uncomfortable as well as unnatural. It adds an extra layer of stress and has been reported to increase distractions rather than reduce them. Children who engage in conversations in their own way (i.e., with reduced eye contact) are not shown to suffer with schooling, work, or social interaction.

    By having fun through meaningful activities, I often experience that ‘BINGO’ moment (a phrase coined by Alex @meaningfulspeech) where the child is enjoying themselves and naturally makes eye contact. There is no demand on them, they are in a fun, engaging environment which suit their strengths and supports their needs.

    Following this, I often reflect on this question ‘Should we make eye contact as a goal?’

    It very much depends on the situation. If it places more demands on the child and becomes stressful. Then no. There are many strategies we can use which gain eye contact without placing extra demands on the child. We need to be mindful to adapt the environment and not place neurotypical expectations to meet the needs of neurodiverse children.

    How can you encourage eye contact without demand?

    • If you’re using toys, try holding them up to your eye level.
    • You can adjust your position, try sitting face to face during play.
    • Always get down to your child’s level. This might mean that you lay on the floor if your child is positioned in this way.
    • During play, waiting is extremely powerful. Before a key part of the activity, wait and see if your child looks at you. Remember silence is golden!
    • The best way I find is: do something unusual during play. It might be that you spray shaving foam with the lid still on. Or you bring out a wow toy and make it spin/light up or make a noise. A balloon can be good – see video clip. Use the excitement of the activity, and wait to see if you achieve that ‘BINGO’ moment.
    • Create opportunities when there are no toys involved such as during ‘tickles’ or ‘hide and seek’. Autistic children find it difficult to shift their attention between a toy and an adult. So by removing one option, you’re setting them up to succeed.

    Remember, it takes practice and time for you to develop these skills. Try one at a time and experiment, see which works best for your child. If you need speech, language or communication support or advice, I am always here to help.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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