My child is hard to understand at school age. Should I be concerned?

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Many parents notice speech errors when their children are toddlers. At that stage it often feels quite normal. Young children are still learning the sounds of their language, and those early mispronunciations can be very endearing.

But as children grow older, parents sometimes begin to wonder:

‘Should my child still be speaking like this?’

A common concern I hear from families is that their child is still difficult to understand even after starting school. Sometimes it is a parent who notices it first. Other times it is a teacher who gently mentions that classmates occasionally struggle to understand what a child is saying.

When this happens, parents naturally wonder whether it is something their child will grow out of, or whether some extra support might help.

When should children’s speech be clear?

Children learn speech sounds gradually over several years. Some sounds develop earlier, while others take longer to master.

By the time children reach five to six years of age, most of their speech should be clear enough for unfamiliar adults to understand. There may still be a few tricky sounds developing (such as /R/ or /TH/), but overall speech should be fairly easy to follow.

If a child is frequently difficult to understand at school age, it can sometimes indicate that a speech sound difficulty has persisted beyond the stage when it would normally resolve on its own.

Why some children remain hard to understand

There are several reasons why speech clarity may still be developing in older children.

Phonological patterns

Some children continue to use speech patterns that are typical of younger children. For example:

  • saying ‘tat’ instead of ‘cat’
  • saying ‘doe’ instead of ‘go’
  • leaving sounds out of words

These patterns are called phonological processes. They are a normal part of early speech development, but when they persist into the school years they can make speech difficult for others to understand.

Difficulty producing specific sounds

Other children may have difficulty producing certain individual sounds clearly. This might include sounds such as:

  • /S/
  • /SH/
  • /R/
  • /TH/

These difficulties are called articulation difficulties.

A child might understand exactly what they want to say but find it hard to produce the sound accurately with their tongue, lips or airflow.

Motor speech planning challenges

For some children, the difficulty lies in the planning and coordination of the movements needed for speech.

Speech requires very precise timing between the tongue, lips, jaw and breath. If the brain finds it difficult to organise these movements consistently, speech can sound unclear or inconsistent.

In some cases this may relate to Childhood Apraxia of Speech, although only a full assessment can determine this.

Why clarity matters for school-age children

Speech clarity becomes particularly important once children start school.

At this stage, children are:

  • Answering questions in class
  • Talking with friends
  • Reading aloud
  • Developing confidence in communication

When speech is difficult to understand, children sometimes become more hesitant to speak, particularly in group situations.

This can affect confidence and participation, even when the child has lots of ideas they would like to share.

The good news: speech can improve

The encouraging news is that speech sound difficulties can often improve significantly with the right support.

Speech therapy focuses on helping children:

  • Learn how sounds are produced
  • Practise accurate speech movements
  • Understand how sounds change meaning in words
  • Build consistency through structured practice

Different children benefit from different therapy approaches. Some need support with phonological patterns, while others benefit from more motor-based practice that strengthens speech coordination.

Often therapy combines several strategies to support the child’s individual speech profile.

When to seek advice

If your child is already at school and you find that people outside the family often struggle to understand them, it can be helpful to seek advice from a speech and language therapist.

A detailed assessment can help identify:

  • Which sounds are causing difficulty
  • Whether patterns such as fronting or sound substitutions are present
  • Whether motor planning challenges may be contributing
  • Which therapy approach is likely to be most effective

Early support can help children develop clearer speech and greater confidence in communication.

Every child’s speech journey is different

Speech development is not the same for every child. Some children master speech sounds quickly, while others need a little more guidance along the way.

The important thing is that support is available when children need it.

With the right strategies and practice, many children make excellent progress and develop speech that is clearer, more confident and easier for others to understand. If you are concerned about your child’s speech clarity or ongoing speech sound errors, a speech and language assessment can help identify the underlying difficulty and guide the most appropriate support.

Feel free to contact me on my contact page.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


Health Professions Council registered
Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
Member of ASLTIP

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Welcome!

    Hello, and welcome. I’m writing this today to share a bit about my professional journey, a journey that has evolved over many years from a bustling, full-schedule practice to a more intentional, deeply fulfilling semi-retired life. This shift wasn’t born out of a desire to slow down, but rather an understanding of what truly matters: my time, your time, and the quality of the work we do together.

    For decades, I poured my energy into a full calendar, helping as many families as I possibly could. It was a wonderful, demanding, and rewarding time. I learned so much, grew immensely as a professional, and had the privilege of witnessing countless moments of breakthrough and success. But over recent months, I began to realise that the most impactful work wasn’t about quantity; it was about quality. It was about giving my whole, undivided attention to a select few, creating an environment where true progress could flourish.

    Change

    This realisation led to a significant change in my practice. I am now at a point in my career where my time is both valuable and precious. It is no longer a commodity to be filled, but a resource to be invested wisely. This doesn’t just apply to my personal life, but to my professional life as well. I’ve chosen to be more selective about the clients I see, and this selectivity is rooted in a single, powerful question: ‘Who can I truly, profoundly help?’

    I believe that successful therapy is a partnership. It requires commitment, trust, and a genuine connection between therapist and client. When I take on a new family, I am not just filling a slot in my schedule; I am making a deep commitment to them. I am dedicating a part of my precious time and decades of expertise to their child’s success. This is why I am now focusing on who I can really work with: families who are equally invested in the process, who understand that progress is a team effort, and who are ready to engage fully in the journey.

    My fees reflect this deep investment. You will find that my rates are higher than those of many other therapists, and I want to be transparent about why. It’s a reflection of the extensive experience I bring to the table. I have spent years honing my skills, navigating complex cases, and developing a unique, effective approach to speech, language and feeding challenges. This is not just a job for me. It is my life’s work, and I honour the value of that expertise and the time I dedicate to each family.

    I want to ensure that every minute you spend with me is productive, focused, and truly transformative. Therefore, I provide a ‘boutique style’ of care. Think of it as an exclusive, personalised experience where every detail is considered and your needs are at the forefront. You won’t feel like you’re just another appointment on a long list. You will feel that you have my full, undivided attention, as if you were my only client.

    This means less time spent on administrative tasks and more time dedicated to preparing for your sessions, reflecting on our progress, and providing you with the most thoughtful, tailored support possible. It means an environment of calm and focused expertise, where we can truly dive deep into the specific challenges and build a clear, effective path forward.

    New perspective

    For parents reading this, I hope this provides a new perspective. Choosing a therapist for your child is one of the most important decisions you can make. It’s about finding not just a professional, but a partner. I want you to feel that, if we choose to work together, you are entering into a unique partnership where your child’s growth is my singular focus.

    In this next chapter of my career, I am prioritising passion over pace, depth over breadth, and meaningful connections over a packed schedule. I am here to work with families who are ready for a truly collaborative and transformative experience. If you are seeking a level of care that goes beyond the standard, an approach that is both highly experienced and deeply personal, I would be honoured to speak with you.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
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    Beyond the teddy bear picnic: Why language development doesn’t always need imaginative play

    As Speech and Language Therapists (SLTs), we are taught from day one that developmental milestones follow a predictable, linear path: first comes functional play, then symbolic and imaginative play (like pretending to feed a teddy bear or talking on a toy phone), and then comes conversational speech.

    But when working with language delayed children, I have seen something that completely contradicts those textbook charts.

    Many of my students have absolutely no interest in doll play, tea parties, or imaginary scenarios. Yet, as they mature, they still manage to develop robust, meaningful, and conversational language.

    How is this possible? And what does it mean for how we approach therapy?

    Redefining the ‘rules’ of play and language

    The idea that imaginative play is a strict prerequisite for language was built entirely on neurotypical developmental data. But neurodivergent brains don’t follow neurotypical roadmaps. That is not a deficit; it’s simply a different processing style.

    When Gestalt Language Processors bypass traditional imaginative play, they aren’t ‘missing’ a step. They are often using entirely different cognitive vehicles to build their language skills.

    The power of monotropic deep interests

    Video clip 2 lining up dinosaurs

    Many autistic individuals have a monotropic cognitive style, meaning they process the world through deep, single-focused passions (think trains, space, dinosaurs or ocean creatures).

    While a neurotypical child might practise social roles by pretending a doll is going to school, a neuro-diverse child practises language by categorising, analysing, and sharing facts about their deep interest. Their language is anchored in the concrete, fascinating reality of their passion, rather than fictional symbolic play.

    Gestalt Language Processing (GLP)

    A significant number of neuro-diverse children learn language in large ‘chunks’ or ‘gestalts’ (such as movie scripts, songs, or favourite phrases) rather than building sentences word-by-word.

    When a child scripts or uses echolalia, they are storing and mapping vast amounts of conversational data. They don’t need to pretend-feed a teddy bear to practise dialogue; they are actively processing the rhythm, intonation, and structural rules of speech through the media and phrases they love. As they grow, they learn to break these scripts apart to form original sentences.

    Structural play is learning play

    Just because a child is lining up dinosaurs or cars, stacking blocks, or spinning wheels instead of making them ‘talk’ doesn’t mean they aren’t learning. This functional and structural play builds crucial foundational skills like pattern recognition, cause-and-effect, and spatial awareness, all of which directly support cognitive and language development.

    Shifting Our Goals

    Meeting our children on their home turf: if that’s dinosaurs, let’s be creative with dinosaurs!

    If imaginative play isn’t the engine driving language, forcing it in the therapy room can quickly turn into an exercise in compliance rather than connection. Instead of trying to pull a child out of their world and into a neurotypical play model, we can meet them exactly where they are!

    Here are three affirming ways to turn deep interests into conversations:

    • Swap questions for comments (declarative language): Instead of interrogating a child about their play (‘What colour is that train? Where is it going?’) make pressure-free observations (‘Wow, that train is moving fast. Look at those wheels spin.’). This lowers conversational anxiety and models natural communication.
    • Bridge and expand: Use their favourite topic to introduce new ideas and concepts. If we love dinosaurs let’s see if dinos can climb up a ladder, slide down a half pipe into some water, then need drying before making footprints across a piece of paper…
    • Validate any scripts or echolalia and find out the EMOTION underlying it: If your child uses a quote from a favourite cartoon clip, let’s try and figure out in what context this phrase was said in the movie; what is the emotion in the movie when the character says this line? Is it upset? Is it joyful? Is it big surprise or a shock? Don’t dismiss it as meaningless. Acknowledge the emotion behind the script ‘You feel worried right now.’ This way we are showing our child that their unique way of communicating is heard and valued.

    So, to sum up:

    Imaginative play is just one way to learn language, not the only way.

    Let’s stop viewing a lack of pretend play as a barrier to communication, and free ourselves to see our children’s true strengths. By embracing their deep passions, we don’t just help them find their voice. We build a real connection that makes communication possible.

    Are you looking for neurodiversity-affirming speech and language support? Contact my clinic today to learn more about how I tailor my therapy to your child’s unique strengths.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    The power of imitation in supporting children with autism

    Image by Freepik

    Imitation, the act of mirroring someone else’s actions, gestures, sounds, or words, is a fundamental skill that plays a crucial role in human development. It’s how babies learn to wave ‘bye-bye’, how toddlers pick up new words, and how children acquire social skills. But for children with autism imitation can be a significant challenge and understanding why it’s important and how to foster it becomes a key focus for parents, educators, and speech and language therapists.

    Why is imitation important?

    Imitation is a building block for a wide range of developmental skills:

    • Social interaction: Imitation is the foundation of social reciprocity. When a child imitates, he or she is engaging in a shared experience, connecting with another person, and learning to take turns in social exchanges.
    • Communication development: Imitation is closely linked to language acquisition. Children often imitate sounds and words before they can produce them independently. Imitation also helps them understand the meaning of gestures and facial expressions, which are vital for nonverbal communication.
    • Cognitive development: Imitation plays a role in problem-solving, learning new skills, and understanding cause and effect. By imitating actions, children explore their environment and learn how things work.
    • Emotional development: Imitation helps children understand and share emotions. When a child imitates a smile, he or she may begin to understand the feeling of happiness.

    Imitation challenges in autism

    Many children with autism face challenges with imitation, which can affect their development in these key areas. These challenges can manifest in different ways:

    • Difficulty imitating motor actions: Children with autism may struggle to imitate simple motor movements, such as clapping hands, waving, or playing ‘peek-a-boo’.
    • Limited vocal imitation: Imitating sounds, words, and phrases can be difficult for some children with autism, which can impact their speech development.
    • Challenges with social imitation: Imitating social cues, such as facial expressions, gestures, and body language, can be particularly challenging for children with autism, affecting their ability to engage in social interactions.

    Why do children with autism struggle with imitation?

    The exact reasons for imitation difficulties in autism are complex and not fully understood. However, several factors may contribute:

    • Neurological differences: Research suggests that differences in brain structure and function, particularly in areas involved in social perception and motor control, may play a role.
    • Sensory processing differences: Some children with autism may have sensory differences that make it difficult to attend to and process the movements or sounds they are expected to imitate.
    • Attention and motivation: Challenges with attention, focus, and social motivation can also affect a child’s ability to engage in imitation.

    How to foster imitation in children with autism

    Fortunately, imitation skills can be developed and improved through targeted interventions and strategies. Here are some approaches that I use in my practice as a speech and language therapist working with autistic children and their families:

    • Create a playful and engaging environment: Children are more likely to imitate when they are having fun and feel motivated. I use toys, games, and activities that the child enjoys.
    • Start with simple imitation: Begin by imitating simple motor movements that the child is already capable of and gradually introduce more complex actions.
    • Imitate the child first: As the Hanen Program emphasises, imitating the child’s actions, sounds, and words can encourage him or her to interact and communicate more.
    • Use visual supports: Visual aids, such as pictures, photos or videos, can help children with autism understand what is expected of them and make imitation easier.
    • Break down complex actions: Divide complex actions into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, to teach a child to brush their teeth, break it down into steps like ‘pick up toothbrush’, ‘put toothpaste on brush’, and ‘move brush on teeth’.
    • Reinforce imitation attempts: Provide positive reinforcement, such as praise, smiles, or preferred activities, when the child attempts to imitate, even if the imitation is not perfect.
    • Integrate imitation into daily routines: Incorporate imitation into everyday activities, such as imitating sounds during playtime, imitating gestures during songs, or imitating actions during self-care routines.

    The role of speech therapy

    Speech-language therapists play a crucial role in helping children with autism develop imitation skills, particularly in the areas of vocal and verbal imitation. As part of my therapeutic role, I offer the following:

    • Assessing a child’s imitation abilities.
    • Developing individualised therapy plans to target specific imitation goals.
    • Using a variety of techniques to encourage vocal imitation.
    • Working with parents and caregivers to provide strategies and support for promoting imitation at home.

    Summary

    Imitation is a fundamental skill that is essential for social, communication, cognitive, and emotional development. While children with autism may face challenges with imitation, it is a skill that can be developed and improved with targeted interventions and support. By understanding the importance of imitation and using effective strategies to foster it, parents, educators, and therapists can make a significant difference in the lives of children with autism, helping them to connect with others, learn new skills, and reach their full potential.

    Do get in touch via my contact form if you have any question or need help with supporting your little one.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • Why imitation is a powerful strategy to support social communication

    Before reading this blog, it’s important to understand what we mean by ‘social communication’ and ‘imitation’. Social communication is more complex than it first appears. It refers to many aspects of communication such as body language, voice, conversational skills, social ‘rules’ (such as being polite and using manners), interpersonal skills (such as developing friendships), and emotional literacy (such as appropriacy and developing self-awareness). Imitation refers to the simple act of copying.

    You may have noticed that your child has difficulties in some of the areas mentioned above. They might be less responsive to you and appear to be quite happy in their own world. Whilst we do not want to change their unique characteristics, we do need to prepare them for future experiences, and what is socially acceptable.

    How will copying my child develop their social communication?

    1. If your child is already engaged with a certain activity, they are already interested and motivated. You’re not competing for their attention.
    2. Both yours and your child’s attention is on the same activity which makes imitating for you (as the parent) easier.
    3. Studies have demonstrated that when a parent imitates a child, they are more likely to look at the adult.
    4. Imitation not only supports eye contact but supports facial expressions (such as smiling), may increase vocalisations, and encourages your child to sit closer to you.
    5. Children learn through trial and error. They may start to try to perform new actions to gain their parents attention. Let your child lead the play!!

    How do I start imitating my child?

    1. Start with observing them. Take the time just to watch. You don’t need to make notes. Sit back and observe their actions, movements, and sounds they make.
    2. Wait for your child’s reaction when they realise you are copying their actions. Remember they may not notice, you don’t need to remind them, simply copy them again.
    3. Having the same set up as your child allows them to feel in control. So, you may have two sets of the same activity rather than copying using their set of toys.

    This may sound daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Start with a ten-minute time frame where you choose to copy your child. This is where you can practise your imitation strategy. Ten minutes a day is far more effective than an hour every two weeks. You may feel self-conscious but trust the process. Build your confidence, whilst exposing your child’s to increased language and communication, enabling them to develop vital social communication skills.

    Look at the video above to watch the strategy in action!

    Support is only a click away. I’m here to help.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · ·

    Seeing sounds: How visual gestures boost speech sound learning

    Learning to produce new speech sounds can be a complex process for young children, especially those facing challenges with speech sound disorders or motor planning difficulties. It’s not just about knowing what a sound ‘should’ sound like; it’s about figuring out where to put your tongue, how to shape your lips, and how much air to push out. This is where the power of visual gestures comes in – literally helping children see how to make sounds.

    As speech and language therapists, we frequently use visual cues and hand gestures to teach articulation. These techniques are incredibly effective, particularly when a child is struggling with the motor planning aspect of speech production.

    In the video clip above you see me teaching

    • the /SH/ sound: the hand makes a C-shape and moves forward showing both how the lips are positioned and the air flowing forward
    • the /S/ sound: the index finger shows a snake like movement going forward- also showing the air flow again
    • the /W/ sound: my right hand moves forward and fingers splay out showing that the lips open up at the end of the sound
    • the /K/ sound: my finger points to the back of my throat where the tongue needs to raise.

    An overview of motor planning for speech – what do we mean by that?

    Think about learning to ride a bike or play a musical instrument. You don’t just know how to do it instantly. You have to plan the movements, practise them, and make adjustments. Speaking is similar! Our brains must:

    1. Plan the sequence of movements needed for each sound and word (e.g., /B/ requires lips together, then release, while /T/ requires the tongue tip behind the top teeth, then release).
    2. Execute those plans rapidly and precisely.

    For some children, especially those with conditions like Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS) or other severe articulation disorders, this motor planning process is disrupted. They know what they want to say, but their brain struggles to send the correct, consistent messages to their articulators (lips, tongue, jaw, velum). This can make speech sound learning incredibly frustrating.

    Why use visual gestures?

    Visual gestures provide an additional, powerful sensory input that can help bridge the gap between knowing a sound and producing it. Here’s how and why they are so beneficial:

    1.      Providing a visual map:

    • How it helps: Many speech sounds are ‘hidden’ inside the mouth. It’s hard for a child to see where their tongue needs to go for a /K/ sound (back of the tongue to the roof of the mouth) or a /T/ sound (tongue tip behind teeth). A simple hand gesture can visually represent this mouth movement. For example, a hand gesture for /K/ might involve sweeping the hand back towards the throat, while for /T/, it might be a tap on the chin.
    • Why it works: Children are highly visual learners. Seeing a physical representation of an abstract mouth movement gives them a concrete ‘map’ to follow, making the process less mysterious and more manageable.

    2.      Enhancing motor planning and memory:

    • How it helps: When a child simultaneously moves their hand (the visual gesture) and attempts to make the sound, they are engaging multiple sensory systems (visual, tactile, proprioceptive – body awareness). This multi-sensory input strengthens the neural pathways associated with that speech sound.
    • Why it works: This multi-modal learning helps to solidify the motor plan for the sound in the brain. It’s like having more ‘hooks’ to hang the information on, making the sound easier to recall and produce consistently. The gesture becomes a built-in reminder.

    3.      Reducing cognitive load:

    • How it helps: Instead of just hearing the sound and trying to figure out the complex motor sequence, the child has a visual cue to guide them. This reduces the mental effort required to decode the sound production.
    • Why it works: When cognitive load is lower, the child can focus more effectively on the specific motor execution of the sound, leading to faster progress and less frustration.

    4.      Increasing engagement and success:

    • How it helps: Gestures can make therapy more interactive and fun! When a child successfully produces a sound with the help of a gesture, it’s a tangible victory.
    • Why it works: Success is a powerful motivator. When children experience success, they are more likely to stay engaged, participate actively, and feel more confident in their ability to learn new sounds.

    5.      Supporting self-correction:

    • How it helps: Once a child learns the gesture associated with a sound, he or she can use it as a self-monitoring tool. If he or she makes an error, he or she can use the gesture to remind himself or herself of the correct mouth position or movement.
    • Why it works: This promotes independent learning and reduces reliance on constant adult prompting.

    Conclusion

    The journey of speech development can be challenging, but visual gestures offer a powerful and effective tool for teaching new sounds, especially when motor planning is a factor. By providing a clear visual map, strengthening motor memory, reducing cognitive load, and fostering engagement, these gestures pave the way for clearer communication and greater confidence. If your child is struggling with speech sounds, consider talking to a Speech and Language Therapist to get guidance on how visual gestures might be incorporated into the therapy plan. Because sometimes, seeing truly is believing (and speaking!).

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    1
  • · · ·

    The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays

    The quiet power: Why silence and responsiveness boost communication in children with delays
    Supplied by Sonja McGeachie, Practice Owner

    As parents and caregivers, our natural instinct when interacting with a child, especially one who struggles with communication, is often to fill every silence. We might ask lots of questions, offer constant commentary, or try to prompt him or her to speak. Our hearts are in the right place. We want to help him or her communicate! However, for children with language delays or those on the autism spectrum, this well-intentioned approach can sometimes inadvertently create more pressure and fewer opportunities for them to truly initiate and develop their own communication skills.

    What if I told you that one of the most powerful tools in your communication toolkit is often silence? And that responding to your child, rather than always initiating, can unlock incredible potential?

    Let’s explore why these seemingly simple strategies are so profoundly beneficial.

    The unspoken benefits of silence

    In our fast-paced world, silence can feel awkward, but for a child who is processing language differently, it’s a gift:

    1. Time to process: Children with language delays often need more time to process what they hear and to formulate their own thoughts or responses. When we bombard them with words, we don’t give their brains the crucial milliseconds they need to catch up. A pause of 5–10 seconds can make all the difference.
    2. Reduces pressure: Constant questioning or prompting can feel like a test. Silence removes this pressure, creating a more relaxed environment where the child feels safe to communicate without fear of being ‘wrong’ or rushed.
    3. Creates opportunity to initiate: If you’re always talking, when does your child get a turn to start the conversation? Silence opens up a space for him or her to initiate, whether it’s through a sound, a gesture, eye contact, or a word. This is vital for developing spontaneous communication.
    4. Encourages independent thinking: When a child is given space, he or she is more likely to try to figure things out himself or herself. This fosters problem-solving skills and reduces reliance on adult prompts.
    5. Prevents overwhelm (especially for ASD): Many children on the autism spectrum can be sensitive to auditory input. A constant stream of language can be overwhelming, leading to withdrawal or challenging behaviours. Strategic pauses can help them regulate and engage more effectively.

    The power of responding (not just initiating)

    Think of a tennis match: if only one person serves, it’s not a game. Communication is a rally, a back-and-forth exchange. When you primarily respond to your child’s communication attempts, you’re teaching him or her the rhythm of conversation:

    1. Follow the child’s lead: This is a cornerstone of effective language intervention, famously championed by programs like Hanen’s ‘It Takes Two to Talk’. When you respond to what your child is already interested in or doing, the interaction becomes immediately relevant and motivating for him or her.
    2. Validates his or her attempts: Every sound, gesture, glance, or partial word your child offers is a communication attempt. By responding to it, you’re telling him or her, ‘I see you. I hear you. Your communication matters.’ This builds immense confidence and encourages him or her to try again.
    3. Builds confidence and motivation: When a child feels understood and successful in his or her communication, he or she are more likely to communicate more often. It’s a positive feedback loop.
    4. Teaches turn-taking naturally: By taking your turn after his or hers, you model the natural flow of conversation. He or she learns that communication is a shared activity, not a one-sided lecture.
    5. Makes interactions meaningful: When you respond to his or her interests, you’re talking about things that are inherently motivating to him or her. This makes the language you use more easily understood and remembered.

    Practical strategies for parents: Observe, Wait, Listen (OWL)

    The Hanen Centre’s ‘Observe, Wait, Listen’ (OWL) strategy perfectly encapsulates these principles:

    • Observe: Watch your child closely. What is he or she looking at? What is he or she doing? What sounds is he or she making? What gestures is he or she using?
    • Wait: After you’ve observed, wait. Give him or her time. Resist the urge to jump in with a question or comment immediately. Count to five (or even ten) in your head. This silence is an invitation for him or her to communicate.
    • Listen: When he or she does communicate (in any way!), listen intently. Try to understand his or her message or intent.

    Beyond OWL – More tips:

    • Reduce questions, increase comments: Instead of ‘What’s that?’ try ‘Oh, a big red ball!’ or ‘The car is going fast!’ Comments provide language models without demanding a verbal response.
    • Expand, don’t just prompt: If your child says ‘Car’, you could respond with ‘Yes, That’s a big car!’ or ‘It’s really fast!’ You’re building on his or her communication with a slightly richer language model.
    • Create opportunities for communication: Place desired items slightly out of reach. This creates a natural reason for your child to communicate his or her wants (e.g., reaching, pointing, vocalising).
    • Respond to all communication: Don’t just wait for words. If your child points, look where he or she is pointing and comment. If he or she makes a sound, imitate it or respond with a related word.

    In summary

    Embracing silence and prioritising responsiveness might feel counterintuitive at first, especially when you’re eager for your child to talk. However, these powerful strategies create a nurturing, low-pressure environment that encourages spontaneous communication, builds confidence, and truly meets your child where he or she is. By giving your child the space and the meaningful responses he or she needs, you’re laying a strong foundation for his or her communication journey.

    Try incorporating these ‘quiet powers’ into your daily interactions and watch your child’s communication blossom.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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