Strategies to support children with eating difficulties

ByLondon Speech and Feeding
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where the cause is NOT a swallowing problem, but we are having a “fussy eater” in the family, seeming for no obvious reason

When parents have a child who find mealtimes or eating difficult, it can put pressure on the whole family dynamics. Once we have observed a child’s eating and drinking skills and found that they are not swallowing impaired, but are for want of a better word “fussy” or “picky”, we can then start to look at what might be underpinning the food aversions/picky eating/food avoidance. Two of the main questions parents have (of course) are:

  • ‘is my child getting the right nutrition?’
  • ‘how can I have less anxiety-provoking and stressful mealtimes?’

We all tend to have an image in our minds about the ‘perfect mealtime’, and how mealtimes ‘should’ be. Speech and Language Therapists with a Feeding Specialism are the perfect professionals to help you unpick feeding issues. We are trained to look at swallowing and oral skills and we also know a lot about feeding behaviours and sensory difficulties which could be causing your child’s eating avoidance.

Here are some strategies that can support children with their eating:

  1. Create and maintain a mealtime culture that suits your home and lifestyle. Then stick to that. We all need some routine in our lives to thrive. Mealtimes are no different. It might be that you eat in the same place for every meal, with the same knives and forks, concentrating on maintaining good posture. Children learn by repetition so the more familiar it is, the easier they will find it. In the physical sense, our bodies also need preparing for food, regardless of whether we are eating with our mouths or we are tube-fed. We want every child to connect all the dots of the process. It starts with their eyes, noses, expectations, memories of past experiences, feelings and then finally their mouths….
  2. Be an excellent role model. Children learn through watching others, so your child will be observing you without you knowing. Ensure that you are positive about the food you are all eating, and talk about how delicious, tasty, juicy, and yummy the foods are. Make the atmosphere around the dinner table light hearted. Even though you are secretly stressed about your child not eating, try and not show this. Instead pick a topic or put on some nice music, or talk about something your child might be interested in, and try and avoid coercing your child to eat. Leave small finger foods on their plates and have a range of foods available on the table so that your child can see that everyone is eating a range of foods and enjoying them.
  3. Use positive reinforcement. Try and think of mealtimes as fun and motivating. Children who are happy will likely be more inclined to try foods and take part in family mealtimes. Reward all interactions around food, so if your child merely touches a new food then praise this behaviour. Or if your child licks a food just once, again make a nice comment and praise your child for touching and licking the food. The takeaway here is to try and keep all messages positive around food.
  4. Keep offering all types of food. What often happens is that parents stop serving foods they know will not be eaten. This makes sense in a way; we don’t want wastage! However, try and keep the doors open and re-offer all types of foods, even the ones that your child has not wanted in the past. Try and give your child one food they will like and one food they have tasted before and liked before, even a little, and then one new food to try. So, your child always has something to fall back on and they can join in with eating. But they can also try (or at least look at and think about trying) other foods that you and perhaps the siblings are eating.

Take a look at this website, I find it very helpful in showing parents what types of foods and how big a portion to offer

Have a go and try and implement some of the ideas above, and should you get stuck please get in touch!

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    1. Challenging behaviour and going out to the shops

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    4. People avoid engaging with you

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    We know the stresses that being a parent with a child with SEND comes with. Please know I am always here to support you, to find solutions so that when you’re next out and about. Your experience will be a little easier and you’ll feel less isolated.

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    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
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    How parent coaching turns story time into a communication success

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    We often hear from parents who are trying their best to connect with their child, especially when reading books, but are met with frustration. They’ll say, ‘I read the book exactly as it’s written, but my child can’t focus for very long and just runs off!’ or ‘my child just flicks through the pages then turns it upside down and runs off with it’ or similar.

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    The result

    The child is now initiating and leading the conversation! He is sharing what he finds interesting, which makes him feel powerful and keeps him deeply engaged.

    2. Building connection and attention

    When parents focus solely on reading, they often forget to make frequent eye contact and use animated facial expressions. The principles taught them to put the text aside and prioritise connection.

    The result

    Our little boy is looking at his dad more frequently, making great eye contact, and clearly having fun! When the interaction is fun, the child’s attention span naturally lengthens, allowing him to attend to the book and the interaction for a much longer time.

    3. Creating opportunities for communication

    The parents learned simple ways to prompt communication without pressure. They stopped asking knowledge-based questions (‘What colour is that? Or point to the pig!’), which can feel like a test.

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    The child is now spontaneously using strings of sounds and gestures to communicate his needs and interests, knowing and enjoying his parents’ enthusiastic responses.

    This video is a testament to the fact that you are your child’s best therapist. With the right tools and coaching, you can transform everyday routines, like reading a book, into the most joyful and effective communication sessions.

    4. Acknowledging and interpreting echolalia

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    2. Facilitates language development: It provides the child with the next step—a meaningful, functional phrase—to move them from repeating language to generating their own spontaneous sentences.

    Look at the child’s face again in the video. When his dad acknowledges and interprets his communication, you see that spark of joy and connection—that’s the moment when true, functional language learning happens!

    Ready to unlock the potential in your family’s story time? Contact me to learn more about our parent coaching programs.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Support your child’s communication using books: OI FROG

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Sonja's top recommendation: Oi Frog, written by Kes Gray and Jim Field. An exciting book for children to enhance their speech, language and communication.
    Oi Frog by Kes Gray and Jim Field

    Book corner with Oi Frog! by Kes Gray and Jim Field.

    Books are an engaging way to support your child’s communication development. Even if your little one dislikes reading in the traditional sense. They will become immersed in this adventure, without realising they are taking in language and developing vital communication skills. This is one of my favourite series for children.

    Increase fun and interaction

    These books are made for fun and excitement! It may seem silly putting on different voices for different characters, but this is one way in which you can engage your child. Why not try to use different intonation patterns (e.g., you may use a deep voice for the dog, and a higher pitch for the cat)? Make your story interactive: you could ‘rawww’ like a lion and see who can make the loudest noise. Make noises to encourage interaction (e.g., when scratching his chin, make a squeaky sound!). You could also relate the experience back to your child (e.g., ‘can you scratch your chin?’).

    Time to talk

    Talk about what you can see on the front cover (e.g., There’s a frog on a log, how funny!) You could also ask your child to choose the rhyming words on a page in the book. Can your child tell you what rhymes with certain words (e.g., can you guess what a parrot sits on?)? Make use of every page. You could comment on your favourite frog and see if your child can talk about their favourite. You can support them by giving them an example (“my favourite frog is the one swimming backwards because he looks funny”). Then you could use this scaffold to support their answer. Your favourite is [________________] because [_________________]

    If your child is reluctant to use language, the use of commenting can take the pressure of them (“look at all those frogs” or “he’s climbing up the stool”) is a powerful way in which you (as parents) can take the pressure off your child. A top tip I like to give is to make sure you pause regularly, which creates opportunities for your child to use language.

    This book uses a subject-verb-object sentence structure (e.g., ‘hares sit on chairs’) which allows your child to hear a good model of a sentence. You could also talk about things in the book that belong in a certain category (e.g., animals, food) or begin with a specific sound. See if your child will name any more.

    Reap the reward of repetitive language

    Oi Frog uses repetitive rhyming language and puts emphasis on these words. This is important because the more your child hears a word, the more likely they are to remember, understand and use it in the correct context.

    Emotions matter

    Talk about how the animals feel and why they may feel this emotion (e.g., the cat’s feeling annoyed because…, Lions sit on irons, how does the lion feel?). Reasons can be difficult for children with communication difficulties. Support them by giving an example or by giving them an option (e.g., “does the lion feel happy or sad? I think the lion feels sad because he’s burnt his bottom on the iron! It’s too hot!”)

    A collection of books
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    Why not read similar stories? I highly recommend OI CAT, OI DOG and OI DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS.

    Need support for your child’s communication? Contact me here.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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