Beyond the teddy bear picnic: Why language development doesn’t always need imaginative play

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As Speech and Language Therapists (SLTs), we are taught from day one that developmental milestones follow a predictable, linear path: first comes functional play, then symbolic and imaginative play (like pretending to feed a teddy bear or talking on a toy phone), and then comes conversational speech.

But when working with language delayed children, I have seen something that completely contradicts those textbook charts.

Many of my students have absolutely no interest in doll play, tea parties, or imaginary scenarios. Yet, as they mature, they still manage to develop robust, meaningful, and conversational language.

How is this possible? And what does it mean for how we approach therapy?

Redefining the ‘rules’ of play and language

The idea that imaginative play is a strict prerequisite for language was built entirely on neurotypical developmental data. But neurodivergent brains don’t follow neurotypical roadmaps. That is not a deficit; it’s simply a different processing style.

When Gestalt Language Processors bypass traditional imaginative play, they aren’t ‘missing’ a step. They are often using entirely different cognitive vehicles to build their language skills.

The power of monotropic deep interests

Video clip 2 lining up dinosaurs

Many autistic individuals have a monotropic cognitive style, meaning they process the world through deep, single-focused passions (think trains, space, dinosaurs or ocean creatures).

While a neurotypical child might practise social roles by pretending a doll is going to school, a neuro-diverse child practises language by categorising, analysing, and sharing facts about their deep interest. Their language is anchored in the concrete, fascinating reality of their passion, rather than fictional symbolic play.

Gestalt Language Processing (GLP)

A significant number of neuro-diverse children learn language in large ‘chunks’ or ‘gestalts’ (such as movie scripts, songs, or favourite phrases) rather than building sentences word-by-word.

When a child scripts or uses echolalia, they are storing and mapping vast amounts of conversational data. They don’t need to pretend-feed a teddy bear to practise dialogue; they are actively processing the rhythm, intonation, and structural rules of speech through the media and phrases they love. As they grow, they learn to break these scripts apart to form original sentences.

Structural play is learning play

Just because a child is lining up dinosaurs or cars, stacking blocks, or spinning wheels instead of making them ‘talk’ doesn’t mean they aren’t learning. This functional and structural play builds crucial foundational skills like pattern recognition, cause-and-effect, and spatial awareness, all of which directly support cognitive and language development.

Shifting Our Goals

Meeting our children on their home turf: if that’s dinosaurs, let’s be creative with dinosaurs!

If imaginative play isn’t the engine driving language, forcing it in the therapy room can quickly turn into an exercise in compliance rather than connection. Instead of trying to pull a child out of their world and into a neurotypical play model, we can meet them exactly where they are!

Here are three affirming ways to turn deep interests into conversations:

  • Swap questions for comments (declarative language): Instead of interrogating a child about their play (‘What colour is that train? Where is it going?’) make pressure-free observations (‘Wow, that train is moving fast. Look at those wheels spin.’). This lowers conversational anxiety and models natural communication.
  • Bridge and expand: Use their favourite topic to introduce new ideas and concepts. If we love dinosaurs let’s see if dinos can climb up a ladder, slide down a half pipe into some water, then need drying before making footprints across a piece of paper…
  • Validate any scripts or echolalia and find out the EMOTION underlying it: If your child uses a quote from a favourite cartoon clip, let’s try and figure out in what context this phrase was said in the movie; what is the emotion in the movie when the character says this line? Is it upset? Is it joyful? Is it big surprise or a shock? Don’t dismiss it as meaningless. Acknowledge the emotion behind the script ‘You feel worried right now.’ This way we are showing our child that their unique way of communicating is heard and valued.

So, to sum up:

Imaginative play is just one way to learn language, not the only way.

Let’s stop viewing a lack of pretend play as a barrier to communication, and free ourselves to see our children’s true strengths. By embracing their deep passions, we don’t just help them find their voice. We build a real connection that makes communication possible.

Are you looking for neurodiversity-affirming speech and language support? Contact my clinic today to learn more about how I tailor my therapy to your child’s unique strengths.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


Health Professions Council registered
Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
Member of ASLTIP

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · ·

    Using AAC in daily life

    Communication is a fundamental human right, a bridge that connects us to the world and each other. For many, spoken language is the primary mode, but for individuals with complex communication needs, Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) offers a powerful pathway to expression and connection. This guide will demystify AAC, highlight the crucial role of modelling, and provide practical examples of how low-tech AAC can be seamlessly integrated into everyday activities.

    What is AAC in a nutshell?

    AAC encompasses a wide range of tools and strategies that supplement or replace spoken language. It’s not about replacing speech, but rather about providing additional ways for individuals to communicate effectively. Think of it as a spectrum:

    • Unaided AAC: This involves using only your body, such as gestures, facial expressions, body language, and sign language.
    • Aided AAC: This involves external tools or devices. These can range from low-tech options like picture boards and communication books to high-tech speech-generating devices (SGDs) and apps on tablets.

    The beauty of AAC lies in its flexibility and personalisation. It empowers individuals to express their wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings, fostering independence and participation in all aspects of life.

    Modelling is KEY: Showing, not just telling

    Imagine trying to learn a new language without ever hearing it spoken. It would be incredibly difficult, right? The same principle applies to AAC. Modelling is the single most important strategy for teaching and supporting AAC users. It means actively using the AAC system yourself while talking, demonstrating how to navigate the system and express messages.

    Here’s why modelling is so vital:

    • It’s how we learn language: Typically developing children learn language by hearing it constantly around them. AAC users need the same immersion.
    • It reduces pressure: When you model, you’re not asking the individual to communicate, you’re just showing them how it’s done. This takes the pressure off and makes learning more enjoyable.
    • It expands vocabulary and concepts: By modelling a variety of words and phrases, you introduce new vocabulary and demonstrate how to combine symbols to create more complex messages.
    • It demonstrates purpose: Modelling shows that AAC is a functional and effective way to communicate, not just a set of pictures.

    So, how do you model? It’s simple: point to the symbols on the communication board or device as you speak the words. For example, if you say, ‘Time to eat breakfast,’ you might point to ‘time’, ‘eat’, and ‘breakfast’ on the board.

    Low-tech AAC in action: Everyday activities

    Low-tech AAC, such as communication boards, books, or single-page displays, is incredibly versatile and can be easily incorporated into daily routines. These can be as simple as printed pages with symbols, laminated for durability.

    Let’s explore how low-tech AAC can be used throughout a typical day, with examples of symbols:

    1. Getting ready for nursery

    Mornings can be busy, but they also offer rich communication opportunities. A ‘Getting Ready’ communication board can help sequence activities and offer choices.

    Activity example:

    ‘Time to get up!’ (point to GET UP). ‘What do you want to wear today, the blue shirt or the red shirt?’ (point to GET DRESSED) ‘Then, we brush teeth’ (point to TOOTHBRUSH) and so on.

    AAC mornings symbol examples

    2. Breakfast Time

    Mealtimes are perfect for making choices, expressing preferences, and commenting. A ‘Breakfast’ communication board can focus on food items, actions, and social comments.

    Example symbols:

    AAC meal times symbol examples

    Activity example:

    ‘What do you want to eat for breakfast?’ (point to EAT). ‘Do you want cereal or toast?’ (point to CEREAL or TOAST). If they finish their milk, you could say, ‘Are you ALL DONE or do you want MORE MILK?’ (point to symbols).

    3. Catching the Bus

    Even routine transitions like catching the bus can be communication rich. A small, portable ‘Travel’ board can be useful.

    Example symbols:

    AAC catching the bus symbol examples

    3. Being on the playground

    The playground is a dynamic environment perfect for commenting, requesting actions, and engaging in social play.

    AAC playground symbol examples

    Activity example:

    ‘Let’s PLAY!’ (point to PLAY). ‘Do you want to go on the SWING or the SLIDE?’ (point to symbols). If they are on the swing, you can say, ‘Do you want to go FAST or SLOW?’ (point to symbols) and ‘Push AGAIN!’ (point to PUSH) You can also model social language like ‘It’s MY TURN.’

    Beyond the symbols: Key takeaways

    • Consistency is key: Use AAC consistently across all environments and with all communication partners.
    • Be patient: Learning a new language takes time. Celebrate small successes.
    • Make it fun: Integrate AAC into play and enjoyable activities.
    • Follow the individual’s lead: Respond to all communication attempts, even if they are imperfect.

    In the video below I model how to integrate AAC into everyday activities with a few more examples and I discuss the difference between AAC and PECS.

    If you need some inspiration with using AAC or would like your child assessed for the right type of AAC then please get in touch.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • Speech sound disorders

    Kids Speech Therapist London
    Speech Sound Disorders

    Treatment Approaches – A Typical Session

    There are various great ways to treat speech sound disorders and I use all the approaches available selectively; I decide what works with each individual child and I also vary the approach depending on the child’s frame of mind at any given time during my session.

    Some of the approaches are more “drill-based” and require a child to be able to pay attention and really participate actively in the therapy, and this is what I am showing you today with this video clip.

    My little student here has been working with me for some time and from only saying a handful of words which were not very easy to understand he has come a long way. He does have some features of Verbal Dyspraxia which I shall briefly outline here:

    • Making sounds in general is a struggle, especially when asked to copy certain sounds, example: ‘can you say: a ee ou oo?”
    • Repeating sound sequences or words sequences is hard, for example: “say p-t-k in sequence” or “say fish chips fish chips fish chips
    • When saying the same word again and again, different mistakes can be heard
    • Intonation difficulties: speech sounds monotonous
    • Vocabulary is very limited

    Some therapy approaches are more play based, for example the Core Word method: here we pick a few words at a time which are very significant to the child and therefore highly motivating to try and say. These could be characters of Pokemon or Minecraft for example, or simple words like “GO!”

    When you watch the video you will see that I use a lot of visual prompting, such as showing him where the tongue is moving to or from. I do this with my index finger and this approach is called Tactile Cueing or “Cued Articulation”. Part of the approach is to give a visual prompt and then reduce the prompt as the learner is more able to produce the correct sounds. Once he can produce the sound on its own, we quickly move to the sound within a word.

    I do mix and match my approaches and in fact here I am drilling but I also use the Core Word which for him (YELLOW) — it’s his favourite colour and I happen to have quite a few good games where a YELLOW something or other can be asked for….. WHO KNEW!? 🙂


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

  • What is FRONTING?

    Kids Speech Therapist London

    Does your child say “Dough” instead of “Go”? Or “Tea” instead of “Key”? Do you hear a /Sh/ instead of an /S/ does “see” sound more like “she”?

    We Speechies call this a Fronting Pattern which means that a sound that should be produced at the back of the throat with the back of the tongue, like K or G , is said at the front of the mouth with the tip of the tongue, like a T or a D or SH. When this happens speech can be really hard to make out because these sounds are literally everywhere in everyday sentences. Just think how many K’s and G’s we hear in a simple sentence?

    For example, I heard my little student say earlier today: “I know what game we can play in your garden? It’s the one with cones and rings and cushions! I know where it is I can get it.”

    But it sounded like:

    “I know what DAME we DAN play in the DARDEN! It’s the one with TONES and rings and TUSHIONS! I know where it is I TAN DED it.”

    If that sounds familiar to you, here is a little overview of what we can do about it:

    First up it’s always good to start with general speech sounds awareness: does a child hear syllables and intonation? Do they know words that rhyme? Can they follow or copy a simple beat with a drum? Can they listen and hear quiet sounds and loud sounds and can they copy those? Can they follow mouth and tongue movements:, for example : stick out your tongue, lick your lips, click your tongue, blow raspberries?

    Then it really helps to talk about BACK and FRONT of things and to draw attention to the back of the mouth and the back of the tongue and the front tip of the tongue and how sounds are made in the mouth. I often use a puppet to show this or a model of a mouth like this one here in the picture.

    Next we try and listen to words starting with a BACK sounds like a K or a G , and I read out a list of words with those sounds: COW, CORE, CAT, CONE, KEY etc or ARK, EEK, OAK, ACHE…

    Or GOO GUY GUM GONE

    After that we try and see if a student can actually produce a single sound like a K or a G just by itself. If they can, that’s a really great start and if they can’t I help them to produce one – over a few sessions we usually get there. We call this Sound production in isolation.

    Once a child can produce a sound correctly, on its own, we try and start working on very simple words that are really powerful like “GO”!!!!! in a motivating game or “CAR” for little ones who love a car racing track.

    Now that we have established the back sounds and are using it in short words, we can gradually re-train brain pathways and oral- motor/movement pathways to use these new sounds in many words and then short phrases. That can take time!! This is called generalisation and it is not uncommon for it to take up a whole year for fluent speech to be error-free .

    Why does it take so long? Being able to produce a correct and clear K or G sound does not mean it will be used easily. Our brain pathways are fixated or habituated to the error sound. It takes time for habits to change. A child might be able to hear the word TIGER with a G in the middle and she knows that it is not a TIDER but when saying it her tongue automatically moves forward rather than lifts up at the back. It’s a bit like a person who has a rounded back: the brain knows to stand upright and how not to slouch, but when we don’t focus on it, ooops we have slouched again because that is what we are comfortable doing and our body moves with our habit.

    It takes effort and motivation to change our movement patterns and that includes our tongue and lip patterns! We usually get there through a huge variety of games and practice. Lots and lots of repetition is key as is motivation to change.

    Parents and carers are crucial in the success of Speech Therapy!

    We need your feedback at home, the regular short and sweet exercises, the constant positive encouragement and great modelling of speech sounds. We often find that parents are tuned into their child’s error sounds and can understand them much better than anyone else. This is great of course in many ways, however, it also means that the child has less motivation to change: if mummy understands me then my world is ok.

    I will give you a short outline of what different speech therapy models I use in my practice, be it in clinic face to face or on-line in my future blogs soon.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

  • · ·

    Why auditory memory matters (especially for little ones!)

    Why auditory memory matters (especially for little ones!)

    Have you ever stopped to think about how we learn to speak, understand, and communicate effectively? It’s a complex dance of various cognitive skills, and one often overlooked but absolutely crucial player in this orchestra is auditory memory. It’s not just about remembering sounds. It’s about remembering sequences of sounds, which is fundamental to language development.

    What exactly is auditory memory?

    At its core, auditory memory is our ability to take in, process, store, and recall information that we hear. Think of it as your brain’s internal recording studio. When someone speaks to you, your auditory memory is busy at work, capturing the individual sounds, the order in which they appear, and the rhythm and intonation of the words. This isn’t just for long-term recall; it’s also vital for working auditory memory, which allows us to hold onto a small amount of auditory information for a short period, just long enough to make sense of it.

    For speech and language, auditory memory is essential for:

    • Understanding spoken language: To comprehend a sentence, we need to remember the beginning of the sentence by the time we hear the end.
    • Following instructions: Remembering a sequence of commands relies heavily on auditory memory.
    • Learning new words: We hear a word, remember its sound, and connect it to its meaning.
    • Developing phonological awareness: This is the ability to recognise and manipulate the sounds in spoken language, a critical precursor to reading. Auditory memory helps children distinguish between similar-sounding words (e.g., ‘cat’ vs. ‘bat’) and segment words into individual sounds.
    • Producing clear speech: To articulate words correctly, we need to recall the precise sequence of sounds that make up that word.
    • Developing conversational skills: Remembering what was just said helps us formulate appropriate responses.

    When auditory memory falls short: The impact on speech

    When auditory memory is poor, particularly in young children, the ripple effects on speech and language development can be significant. Children might struggle with:

    • Following multi-step directions: ‘Put on your shoes, get your coat, and meet me at the door’ can become an overwhelming jumble of sounds.
    • Learning new vocabulary: They might hear a new word repeatedly but struggle to retain its sound pattern, making it difficult to recognise or use later.
    • Understanding stories or conversations: Missing key details or losing the thread of a narrative because they can’t hold enough information in their working memory.
    • Developing phonological skills: Difficulty with rhyming, identifying initial sounds in words, or blending sounds together to form words, which can impact early literacy.
    • Speech production: They might mispronounce words, omit sounds, or struggle with the correct sequencing of sounds within words.
    • Social communication: Difficulty participating in group discussions, remembering names, or recalling what their peers have said.
    • Academic performance: Auditory memory challenges can impact a child’s ability to learn in a classroom setting, where much of the instruction is delivered verbally.

    It’s important to note that poor auditory memory isn’t a sign of low intelligence, but rather a specific processing challenge that can be addressed with targeted support.

    Nurturing auditory memory in under 5s: Preparing for schooling

    The good news is that auditory memory is a skill that can be strengthened and developed, especially during the crucial early years. For children under five, laying a strong foundation in auditory memory is an invaluable gift as they prepare for the demands of formal schooling. Here’s what we can do to help:

    1. Read aloud regularly: This is perhaps one of the most powerful tools. As you read, encourage your child to listen for specific words, predict what happens next, and retell parts of the story. Vary your voice, use different intonations, and pause to emphasise key words.
    2. Play auditory memory games:
      • ‘Simon says’: This classic game is fantastic for following multi-step instructions. Start with one command and gradually increase the number.
      • ‘I Spy’ with sounds: Instead of colours, describe sounds. ‘I spy with my little ear something that goes “moo”.’
      • Rhyming games: Sing rhyming songs, read rhyming books, and encourage your child to come up with words that rhyme.
      • Sound matching: Use everyday objects to make sounds (e.g., shaking keys, tapping a spoon) and have your child identify or match them.
      • ‘Memory chain’: Start a sentence and have your child add to it, remembering everything that came before: ‘I went to the market and bought an apple.’ ‘I went to the market and bought an apple and a banana.’
    3. Sing songs and nursery rhymes: Repetitive songs and nursery rhymes are excellent for developing auditory memory, rhythm, and phonological awareness. The predictable patterns help children anticipate and remember sequences of sounds and words.
    4. Give multi-step instructions (and praise!): Start with two-step instructions and gradually increase the complexity as your child’s skills improve. Always give positive reinforcement when they succeed. ‘Please pick up the red block and put it in the box.’
    5. Engage in active listening: Model good listening skills yourself. When your child is speaking, give them your full attention. Ask clarifying questions to encourage them to elaborate and organise their thoughts.
    6. Reduce background noise: A quiet environment makes it easier for young children to focus on auditory information. Minimise distractions like TV or loud music during activities that require listening.
    7. Use visual cues: While we’re focusing on auditory memory, sometimes pairing auditory information with visual cues can be helpful, especially initially. For example, when giving instructions, demonstrate the action as you say it.
    8. Be patient and consistent: Developing auditory memory takes time and consistent practice. Celebrate small victories and create a playful, supportive environment for learning.

    By actively engaging in these strategies, we can empower our youngest learners to build robust auditory memory skills, setting them up for success not only in speech and language development but also in their overall academic journey. It’s an investment that truly pays dividends in their future communication and learning abilities.

    Any comments or if you need help and support with your child’s speech please do not hesitate to get in touch with me: simply fill out the contact form here on the website. I endeavour to reply within 48 hours.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · ·

    How do we play with our Gestalt Language Processors?

    Image by Freepik

    Child-led therapy

    When working with Gestalt Language Processors, it is always advisable to use child-led therapy. What does that mean? Child led therapy involves following a child’s interests and allowing her/him to lead the play activity throughout the speech and language therapy session. In other words, instead of having my own ideas of what we might want to play with or what activities I might try and use, I provide a range of toys I know the child likes or has played well with before; then I wait for the child to pick what she/he enjoys doing.

    Play can be very repetitive and we can often see our child cycling back to the same one or two toys throughout the session. But this is what she/he needs to do at that time and it means that we have focused attention and engagement. This in turn is very helpful for the therapeutic process, which is to offer great scripts and phrases/words alongside what she/he is playing with.

    Monotropic minds

    Often the mind of autistic children is more strongly pulled towards a smaller number of interests or hobbies as I like to call them. Dr Dinah Murray, Dr Winn Lawson and Mike Lesser have found in 2005 that autistic people have ‘monotropic’ minds. They explain that autistic children focus their energy on a narrow range of activities as the energy required to switch between several toys is much higher than we would see in the neuro-typical population.

    Gestalt Language Processors are often also Gestalt Cognitive Processors. This is when experiences are retained as episodic events and memories. An event is remembered by specific parts of the same event. And, therefore, these specific parts should always be part of that event, when the event is repeated.

    Should any of the specifics be changed or are missing, then this can cause great upset to Gestalt Cognitive Processors. So, for example, if the last two times in speech therapy we had the train set out and this was played with happily, then this becomes a specific part of the whole session. If, I then don’t offer the train set the third time a child comes to see me, this could be very upsetting.

    This is why I tend to try this out and see what happens. Usually in the 3rd or 4th session: I might not bring out the car run that has hitherto been super successful to see if we are able to transition well to other toys. If yes, then we can have new experiences but if not then I will re-offer the car run/or whatever toy pretty quickly so as not to cause complete dysregulation.

    A few pointers below which help with child-led play:

    Introduce a few new toys and see what happens

    Parents are encouraged to bring some familiar toys their child likes to the session. We can then introduce a couple of different toys to see how we go. Try offering a new toy alongside the familiar one; try offering new toys without the familiar one present, but be prepared to re-offer the “old” toy should our child get upset.

    Rotate toys and don’t offer out too many toys

    I find that children can get overwhelmed and overstimulated by too many items out all at once. I always talk to parents about toy rotation at home and I encourage storage and ‘tidy up’ of toys so that we can increase attention focus, and also maintain freshness and new interest in older toys.

    Some children are not yet ready to play with toys

    Here I suggest people games: these are games where the adult becomes part of a more motor-based activity. Some call it ‘rough and tumble play’ but it can be nursery rhymes such as sleeping bunnies/row row the boat or peek-a-boo for the younger ones.

    Copy/Imitation is so important – try getting two identical or similar play items

    When we are copying our child, it is often not desirable to ‘take turns’ with their toys/blogs/cars etc as our child may not be ready to let us take a turn. Instead, if we have the exact same toy that our child is having then we can play alongside our child and copy them perfectly without interrupting their play.

    References:

    Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism9(2), 139-156.

    If you need help with your child, please do not hesitate to contact me.


    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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  • · · · ·

    Let’s ditch the ‘Fix-It’ approach to autistic play and stimming

    Let’s ditch the 'Fix-It' approach to autistic play and stimming

    December is often presented as a time of perfect, reciprocal play. Children are supposed to be unwrapping toys, sharing, and engaging in imaginative scenarios with family. But for parents of young autistic children, this high-pressure, socially demanding period can often feel like a battleground.

    If you’ve been told to interrupt your child’s stimming, push for eye contact, or force them to play ‘functionally’ with toys, it’s time to take a deep breath. Those traditional approaches are not only stressful—they often miss the point of your child’s communication.

    As a neurodiversity-affirming Speech and Language Therapist, I want to encourage you this December: You are allowed to follow your child’s lead, validate his or her unique interests, and trust that his or her play and movement are profoundly meaningful.

    1. Stimming: not a distraction, but a regulator 💡

    Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behaviour and includes repetitive movements or sounds like hand flapping, humming, rocking, finger flicking, or repeating phrases (called echolalia).

    For years, parents were incorrectly advised to block or eliminate these behaviours. The neurodiversity-affirming view tells us the exact opposite: Stimming is a vital and essential tool for your child’s self-regulation.

    Think of stimming as an internal volume dial:

    • Too loud/overwhelmed: Your child may stim to reduce incoming sensory input (e.g., rocking to ground himself or herself in a busy room).
    • Too quiet/under-stimulated: Your child may stim to increase sensory input and focus (e.g., running back and forth to maintain alertness).

    The shift: validate, don’t block

    Instead of saying, ‘Stop flapping your hands’, try to understand the message behind the movement.

    • Observe: When does the stimming happen? Is it before a meltdown? When your child excited? When your child is bored?
    • Validate: Name the need, not just the behaviour. You might say, ‘I see your body needs to move fast right now. That helps you calm down!’
    • Co-regulate: If the stim is unsafe (e.g., head-banging), help your child find a safer, alternative stim that meets the same sensory need (e.g., pushing hard against a wall, squeezing a stress ball).

    By validating your child’s need to regulate, you are building trust, reducing anxiety, and teaching him or her critical self-awareness.

    2. Autistic play: Meaningful, even if it’s monologue

    The traditional idea of ‘good play’ often involves turn-taking, pretending, and specific toy functions (e.g., pushing a train around a track). When an autistic child spends 30 minutes lining up cars, spinning their wheels, or scripting whole scenes from a favourite movie, it can often be dismissed as non-functional or repetitive.

    In neurodiversity-affirming practice, we recognise that autistic play is authentic play. These activities are crucial for learning, deep focus, and imaginative development.

    • Lining up toys may be an exploration of patterns, visual organisation, and order.
    • Spinning wheels may be a deep interest in cause-and-effect and visual sensory input.
    • Scripting is often a way to process language, regulate emotions, and practise complex social situations in a safe, controlled way.

    Make a change: Join your child’s world, don’t drag them to yours.

    Stop trying to force the ‘right’ way to play. Instead, try these neuro-affirming strategies:

    1. Be a co-regulator, not a director: If your child is lining up cars, sit down next to him or her. Instead of moving a car, try handing him or her another car to line up. Focus on the shared interest rather than forcing interaction.
    2. Narrate (don’t question): Avoid constantly asking, ‘What are you doing?’ or ‘What does this car say?’ This puts pressure on your child to perform. Instead, narrate your observations using his or her interest: ‘I see you made a long, straight line of red cars. Look at all the wheels spinning!’
    3. Validate the interest: Show genuine appreciation for your child’s focus. ‘Wow, you know so much about how magnets stick together! That’s incredible.’

    3. The communication revolution: Honouring gestalt language processing 

    Many young autistic children communicate in ways that don’t fit the traditional model of building language word-by-word. Many use Gestalt Language Processing (GLP).

    A gestalt language processor learns language in chunks or scripts (e.g., ‘what’s-in-there?’ or ‘ready-go!’). These chunks (or gestalts) are not random; they are often tied to an emotional memory or meaning. Over time, the child breaks down these big chunks into individual words then learns to recombine those words creatively.

    If your child repeats movie phrases or whole sentences that seem unrelated, he or she is likely a gestalt language processor!

    Affirm the script, then model something useful.

    1. Affirm the script: When your child says a script, respond to the meaning or emotion behind it, not the literal words. If he or she says, ‘We’re going to need a bigger boat’, and he or she is looking at a messy toy pile, he or she may be trying to express overwhelm or a need for help. You can affirm: ‘That pile is too big! I can help you move it.’
    2. Model new ‘mix and match’ scripts: To help your child move from whole scripts to single words, you can model shorter, slightly changed versions of the script, also called ‘mitigated gestalts’. If they say, ‘I want to go home now’, you might model, ‘Let’s go home, now’ or ‘I wanna go home’.

    By honouring your child’s communication style, you validate his or her experience and naturally support his or her path to language development—a core part of neurodiversity-affirming SLT.

    Your December gift to your little one:

    This December, stop trying to make your child fit into a neurotypical box. Instead, make your home a safe space where he or she can be his or her authentic selves.

    Prioritise regulation and connection over compliance.

    Trust that when your child is regulated, his or her communication, learning, and engagement will flourish naturally. This is the true gift of neurodiversity-affirming practice.

    Download and print my neuro-affirming quick reference guide and keep this guide handy on your fridge and/or in your child’s play area for a quick reminder to prioritise connection over conformity.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.


    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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