Managing mealtime sensory overload at holiday gatherings: Supporting children with allergies and feeding differences

ByLondon Speech and Feeding
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Managing mealtime sensory overload at holiday gatherings: Supporting children with allergies and feeding differences

Holiday meals are meant to be joyful and something we all look forward to. But for many children and their families, these occasions can be overwhelming and be the cause of dread and worry. The combination of new smells, unfamiliar foods, loud environments, social expectations, and allergy anxieties can quickly turn what should be a festive time into a stressful one.

For parents of children with sensory processing differences, selective eating challenges, or food allergies, holiday gatherings often require careful planning and a big dose of tolerance and compassion. The good news is that with awareness and a few gentle strategies, you can support your child to feel safe, regulated, and included during festive meals without pressure, tears, or discomfort.

Let’s explore how to make holiday mealtimes calmer, safer, and more connected this season.

🎄 Why holiday meals feel so overwhelming

Holiday gatherings usually combine several sensory triggers all at once:

  • Noisy, chaotic rooms
  • Strong smells from a mix of foods we don’t normally cook
  • Multiple conversations happening at once
  • Bright lights, Christmas décor, flickering candles
  • Unfamiliar foods with unexpected textures
  • Expectations to ‘try everything’ or ‘enjoy it’s sooo good!’
  • New environments, seating arrangements, or routines

For children with sensory sensitivities, this can feel like a tidal wave of input. Research shows that children who are sensory-sensitive often have heightened responses to smell, taste, and texture, which may lead to avoidance or distress at mealtimes (Cermak, Curtin, & Bandini, 2010).

Add food allergies into the picture and anxiety increases even further for both children and parents. A 2020 study by DunnGalvin et al. found that children with food allergies experience significantly higher stress in shared eating environments, especially when food preparation or contamination risk is hard to control.

So, if your child becomes tearful, shuts down, or refuses to sit at the festive table, it isn’t ‘bad behaviour.’ It’s sensory overload, heightened vigilance, or discomfort communicating through their body.

🌟 Preparing your child for a calmer festive meal

Preparation is especially important for sensory-sensitive or allergy-aware children. Here’s how to set them up for success:

1. Offer predictability through previewing

Before the event, show your child pictures of:

  • where you’re going
  • who will be there
  • the types of foods that might be served
  • where they might sit

A visual schedule or social story can help reduce anxiety and give your child a sense of control.

2. Pack safe foods without apology

If your child has allergies or selective eating, bring:

  • ‘Safe foods’ you know they will eat
  • Backup snacks
  • A separate (their own) plate, if needed
  • Emergency medication

Announce clear, firm boundaries such as:

‘Ok people, these are Jamie’s safe foods — we’ll stick with these today.’ This will help relatives understand without pressure or judgement.

3. Choose seating that supports sensory regulation

If possible, seat your child:

  • at the end of the table
  • near a familiar adult
  • away from the kitchen (strong smells)
  • away from noise clusters
  • give them their favourite toy or fidget whilst waiting

Let them take breaks when needed. This isn’t ‘rude,’ it’s self-regulation.

🍽️ Supporting children during the meal

1. Focus on connection, not consumption

The holidays are not the time to expand your child’s food range. Keeping mealtimes low-pressure actually supports long-term progress.

In fact, the research is clear: pressuring children to eat decreases acceptance and increases refusal (Galloway et al., 2006).

So instead of ‘Just try it!’ try:

  • ‘You don’t have to eat it, you can look at it.’
  • ‘You’re in charge of what goes in your mouth.’
  • ‘You can keep your safe foods on your plate.’

2. Protect your child’s allergy safety

Holiday meals often include:

  • cross-contamination risks
  • shared utensils
  • buffets
  • homemade dishes without ingredient lists

Use gentle but firm scripts:

  • ‘Because of Ellie’s allergies, we’ll keep her plate separate.’
  • ‘We’ll serve her food ourselves to make sure she stays safe.’

Confidence in your boundary helps others respect it.

3. Manage sensory load in real time

Offer:

  • headphones
  • a small chew or fidget toy
  • a designated ‘calm corner’
  • time outside for fresh air
  • a predictable signal for breaks (e.g., a hand squeeze or card)

Remember, sensory regulation is healthcare, not ‘giving in.’

4. Model calm eating

Children learn most from watching.

Slow, happy bites and relaxed facial expressions tell the nervous system: ‘This environment is safe’.

💛 What to say to well-meaning relatives

Families often have big feelings about food. You can prepare nice phrases like:

  • ‘We’re focusing on helping him feel safe around food today.’
  • ‘She has allergies, so we’re sticking to our plan.’
  • ‘We’re avoiding pressure because it helps him eat better long term.’
  • ‘We’re celebrating together, eating is not the goal today.’

Setting expectations ahead of time can reduce awkward moments later.

🎁 The bigger picture: It’s about safety, not ‘picky eating’

Children with allergies, sensory differences, or feeding challenges aren’t trying to be difficult. They are trying to stay safe, regulated, and comfortable.

Your calm presence, gentle boundaries, and preparation create the conditions for a holiday that feels peaceful, not pressured.

Sonja McGeachie

Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

Health Professions Council registered
Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
Member of ASLTIP

Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

📚Research References

Cermak, S. A., Curtin, C., & Bandini, L. G. (2010). Food selectivity and sensory sensitivity in children with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 110(2), 238–246.

DunnGalvin, A. et al. (2020). APPEAL-2: A pan-European qualitative study to explore the burden of peanut-allergic children, teenagers and their caregivers. Clinical & Experimental Allergy, 50(11), 1238–1248.

Galloway, A. T., Fiorito, L. M., Francis, L. A., & Birch, L. L. (2006). ‘Finish your soup!’ Counterproductive effects of pressuring children to eat on intake and affect. Appetite, 46(3), 318–323.

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    modelling AAC

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    Once we have decided to try for a picture based communication system, I usually start with a paper-based single page with between 48–88 core-words. I choose the number of words depending on where the child is developmentally and also verbally.

    If a child does have a small handful of words already, I might start with the 88-cell board below. If, on the other hand, my student is completely non-speaking and still quite little then I might go for the 48-cell below here or I might have even less cells to start with. Again, sometimes I start with an electronic device in my clinic just to trial and introduce the idea and to see if, or how, a student responds. 

    Below are some samples: a 49-cell board which I made for a child in a nursery setting

    Below a Saltillo WordPower board that can be downloaded from the Saltillo website:

    Example of a slightly more advanced board, again from the Saltillo Website

    And here below one example of a board I made for a specific activity for a child who loves water and sand play:

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    So once we have a good board for our child, what now? How do we start introducing this into our daily life?

    We can start by showing/pointing to the word GO within a play activity. For example:

    • a car run,
    • or a marble run,
    • or a spinner activity,
    • a wind-up toy,
    • anything that can be stopped and started easily.

    How to start?

    I will talk us through each of the steps using the example for the word ‘GO’.

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    The first phase is a TEACHING/ LEARNING PHASE. In this phase we do not expect our student to do anything, to copy us or to point to the board. If they do that it is of course a huge bonus and we will celebrate it.

    Our job is to simply MODEL/SHOW/GIVE EXAMPLES of how we can use the board, by steadily and regularly pointing to the chosen word or words. We do so across the day and across settings:

    • play
    • meal time
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    • etc

    Once we can be sure that our student has been submerged and SOAKED in seeing the coreboard being used, say after some 3–4 weeks of using it consistently…

    Second phase

    We can begin to move into the second phase which is the PRACTICE PHASE. By now the student has seen the boards and he or she has seen the word GO (as a example) modelled many times.

    Now we can start to see if we can tempt our student into trying this out for themselves.

    What sort of TEMPTING are we talking about? Take a look at the Prompt Hierarchy below, which shows us what to do to get our student to be independently communicating as soon as possible. 

    The PROMPT HIERARCHY: what sort of prompting should we do, should we expect something from our student or how should we view this stage?

    1.  TEMPT AND PAUSE

    I have the AAC near to the toy and each time the child starts another round of the activity I say clearly ‘GO’ and I point to the picture as do so. I then pause and wait to see what happens. NOTHING? Then…

    1. USE SIGNS AND BODY LANGUAGE

    Next time the child starts another round I might be very animated and do a Makaton sign for GO as I say ‘GO’ and I make a very over point to the picture again. Then I wait. STILL NOTHING? OK then…

    1. OPEN-ENDED QUESTION

    Now I might say ‘GO’ and follow with: ‘OOH I WONDER IF THERE IS A PICTURE TO POINT TO…’

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    1. ASK FOR A RESPONSE

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    1.  PHYSICAL TOUCH

    Next time I say ‘GO’ I will try and take the student’s hand, help isolate their finger and help him or her to point to the actual picture.

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    So once I have done Physical Prompting I will try and phase back down to number 1 where all I need to do is point to the picture or look at the board with the aim that the student will then point to the picture.

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    • Only after LOTS of exposure, use the least to most prompting hierarchy and start creating opportunities for a student to become an independent communicator.

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    Neurodiversity affirming Speech and Language Therapy

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    Strengths-Focused Speech Therapy

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    Explaining pronoun reversal: A window into gestalt language processing

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    Explaining pronoun reversal: A window into gestalt language processing

    Have you noticed your child referring to themselves as ‘you’, or calling you ‘me’? This seemingly confusing mix-up of pronouns, known as pronoun reversal, often raises concerns for parents. Below I outline why your child does this and want to reassure you that it is to do with his or her unique language learning style.

    Gestalt language processing: Learning in chunks

    Many children, particularly those on the autism spectrum, use a gestalt language processing approach. Unlike analytic language processors who learn individual words and build sentences, gestalt language processors learn language in whole ‘chunks’ or ‘gestalts’. Think of these gestalts as pre-packaged scripts they pick up from their environment — phrases, sentences, even snippets of songs or movie lines.

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    Imagine your child hearing ‘You want a rice cake?’ repeated frequently. They might then use this phrase to express their own desire for a rice cake, even though it doesn’t grammatically fit. So they are thinking and saying ‘You want a rice cake?’ and the meaning of this phrase is: ‘I want a rice cake’. This isn’t a sign of confusion, but a natural step in their language development. They’re working with the tools they have: the scripts they’ve acquired.

    How can we support their natural language journey

    Instead of trying to ‘correct’ pronoun usage, our role as caregivers and speech therapists is to support the child’s natural language progression. Here’s how we can do this:

    1. Learn about their gestalt stage and run with it: In the early stages (1–3) of gestalt language development, correcting pronouns can be counterproductive. These children are still processing language as whole units, not individual words. Direct corrections can lead to frustration and hinder their natural language exploration.
    2. Patience and trust: Gestalt language processing follows a predictable, albeit sometimes non-linear, path. By understanding their current stage, we can provide targeted support. Language sampling and scoring, guided by the Natural Language Acquisition framework, help us pinpoint their stage and tailor our approach.
    3. Model language strategically: In the early stages, avoid using pronouns like ‘you’ and ‘you’re’. Instead, model language from the child’s perspective or use joint perspectives. For example, instead of ‘Are you thirsty?’, try ‘I’m thirsty!’ or ‘Let’s get some water’,

    The big picture: Language unfolds naturally

    Pronoun reversal is a stepping stone, not a stumbling block. As gestalt language processors progress, they begin to break down these gestalts into smaller units and develop their own self-generated language. This is when their understanding and use of pronouns naturally emerge.

    By shifting our perspective from ‘error correction’ to ‘developmental support’, we create a nurturing environment for these children to thrive. We empower them to navigate their unique language journey, ultimately leading to more meaningful and independent communication.

    So, to summarise:

    • Pronoun reversal is a typical characteristic of early-stage gestalt language processing.
    • Focus on modelling language from the child’s perspective or a joint perspective.
    • Avoid correcting pronouns in the early stages.
    • Trust the process and support the child’s natural language development.

    Let’s celebrate the diverse ways our children learn to communicate and empower them to find their unique voice!

    If you have any questions or would like some help with understanding your little gestalt language learner, please get in touch with me via my contact form.

    Sonja McGeachie

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    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    Health Professions Council registered
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    Member of ASLTIP

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    What to do when words don’t come fast enough

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    What to do when words don’t come fast enough

    When children find talking hard, parents often face a difficult question: ‘Should we wait and keep encouraging speech? Or introduce something like AAC?’

    AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) can sound intimidating, but it simply means any way we support or replace spoken words, from simple gestures and picture boards to high-tech speech-generating devices. Far from ‘giving up on speech,’ AAC often becomes the bridge that helps children find their voice, in whatever form that takes.

    💡 What is AAC, really?

    AAC is a spectrum of tools and strategies that help people express themselves when speaking is difficult. It might include:

    • Low-tech supports: Gestures, key word signs (like Makaton), picture symbols, or printed boards
    • High-tech systems: Apps on tablets that speak aloud when pictures or words are tapped

    AAC is not just for children who will never talk. It’s for anyone whose speech isn’t meeting their communication needs right now.

    🤔 When to introduce AAC

    There’s a common myth that you should only try AAC after ‘exhausting’ other speech therapy options. In fact, AAC can be introduced at any stage, even alongside speech development.

    Here are some helpful signs that AAC might support your child:

    • Your child understands much more than they can say.
    • They rely on gestures, sounds, or behaviour to communicate.
    • They become frustrated trying to express themselves.
    • You find yourself ‘reading their mind’ to interpret needs.
    • Speech progress feels slow or inconsistent.

    If you recognise these patterns, AAC isn’t a ‘last resort’. It’s a communication support, not a replacement for speech.

    Recent research consistently shows that AAC does not stop children from talking. In fact, it can encourage speech to develop. A 2024 systematic review and meta-analysis published in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that children who received interventions combining naturalistic developmental behavioural approaches with aided AAC showed improved language outcomes, and that AAC ‘does not negatively impact speech development and may even facilitate spoken language growth’ (Smith et al., 2024).

    🌉 How AAC supports speech development

    Speech and AAC aren’t competing paths: they’re parallel tracks that often feed each other.

    Here’s how AAC helps speech grow:

    1. Reduces frustration: When a child can express their needs, they’re more relaxed and ready to learn.
    2. Provides a visual model: Seeing symbols or words while hearing spoken language strengthens understanding and word recall.
    3. Builds consistent language structure: AAC systems follow the same grammar and word order as speech, helping children internalise how sentences work.
    4. Encourages turn-taking and social connection: AAC lets children join conversations even before speech is fluent, giving them more practice in real communication.

    AAC is not ‘giving up on speech’. It’s giving a child more ways to succeed while speech continues to develop.

    🧩 How to introduce AAC gently and effectively

    1. Start small and meaningful: Begin with a few key messages your child wants to say, not just what adults want to hear. Think ‘I want’, ‘stop’, ‘help’, ‘more’, ‘all done’, ‘no’, ‘again’. These are powerful words for real interaction and autonomy.
    2. Model, model, model: The most important part of AAC success is modelling—using the system yourself as you talk. For example: ‘You want banana 🍌’ and you tap the ‘want’ and ‘banana’ symbols. Children need to see and hear AAC used naturally before they try it themselves.
    3. Use it throughout the day: AAC isn’t a therapy tool to take out once a week. It’s a living part of communication. Model a few words during mealtimes, play, and routines. The more consistently it’s embedded, the more fluent both you and your child will become.
    4. Keep it accessible: If using a device or picture board, make sure it’s always nearby. If it’s in a bag or drawer, it can’t be used in real moments.
    5. Celebrate all communication: If your child points, signs, uses a sound, or taps a symbol, it all counts. Respond warmly and naturally to reinforce communication in any form.

    🧠 What parents often worry about

    • ‘Won’t AAC stop them from talking?’: No. Research shows AAC use either has no negative effect on speech or leads to increased spoken output (Smith et al., 2024). When children feel understood, their motivation to communicate grows.
    • ‘What if I model it wrong?’: There’s no perfect way to start. Your effort and consistency matter far more than accuracy.
    • ‘Will they get ‘stuck’ using pictures?’:  Some children do continue using AAC long-term; others move naturally toward more spoken language. The goal is always functional communication, not replacing one form with another.

    🪞 Bringing AAC into daily life

    Here are a few simple, parent-friendly ideas:

    • Create visual spaces: Post symbols or core words on the fridge, mirror, or play area.
    • Narrate routines: Use AAC during toothbrushing, dressing, or mealtimes; consistent contexts build understanding.
    • Pair speech and touch: Always say the word aloud when you point to or tap a symbol.
    • Involve siblings and friends: Model how they can respond to AAC too. ‘Oh, you said go! Let’s go fast!’
    • Use shared books and songs: Pause and model key words in stories or songs.

    🌱 The takeaway

    AAC doesn’t mean giving up on speech; it means opening more doors to communication. When words don’t come easily, AAC gives children a way to connect, share, and be heard.

    It helps parents move from guessing to understanding, and gives children the power to express themselves on their own terms.

    If you’re unsure where to start, reach out to a speech and language therapist experienced in AAC. Together, you can find a system that fits your child’s strengths, build confidence in modelling, and help every word (spoken or tapped) feel like a step forward.

    And download and print my one page summary.

    Because when communication is possible, everything else begins to grow.

    Sonja McGeachie

    Highly Specialist Speech and Language Therapist

    Owner of The London Speech and Feeding Practice.

    📚 Reference

    Smith, K., et al. (2024). The Effect of Naturalistic Developmental Behavioral Interventions and Aided AAC on the Language Development of Children on the Autism Spectrum with Minimal Speech: A Systematic Review and Meta‑Analysis. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 55, 3078–3099. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-024-06382-7

    Health Professions Council registered
    Royal College of Speech & Language Therapists Member
    Member of ASLTIP

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

    2
  • ·

    Bilingualism – should I speak only English with my speech delayed child?

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    Introduction

    Bilingualism is a beautiful aspect of our diverse world. Growing up in a bi- or multi-lingual household is a wonderful gift, allowing children to communicate with a broader range of people and access many cultures.

    My own two children grew up in a bilingual German-English speaking household. They have both been so enriched by this experience, not only language- and learning-wise but of course also culturally: their world has always been so open and colourful. Growing up in inner London and having their German family and mum’s friends as well, this has been a wonderful experience. Both my boys speak German well (not quite like native speakers but like very good second language speakers) and both have very easily learned 3rd and 4th languages additionally when in secondary school.

    Whilst bilingualism has untold benefits, it’s not uncommon for bilingual children to take slightly longer to reach certain speech milestones. This should not be automatically mistaken for speech disorders but rather seen as a natural part of bilingual language development.

    Bilingualism and speech delays

    Sometimes, of course, we do see speech delays or disorders where a child’s speech development lags significantly behind their peers. We often see a delay in both languages equally, making it extra hard for to communicate effectively. BUT PLEASE KNOW the family speaking in multi-lingual languages never caused the delay/disorder!

    If there is a delay or a disorder any number of other reasons could have caused it, such as:

    • hearing impairments,
    • reduced phonological awareness,
    • sensory processing issues,
    • reduced attention and reduced joint attention,
    • neuro-developmental delays or difficulties,
    • general or specific learning difficulties
    • or sometimes other genetic factors.

    So, to say that the difficulty is due to a child being exposed to several languages is a red herring. (no offence to herrings!)

    Speech therapy

    Speech therapy can be powerful to help bilingual /multilingual children with speech delays unlock their full linguistic potential. By providing individualised assessments, targeted interventions, and involving families, speech therapy can bridge the gap between speech delays and bilingualism. It’s essential for the therapist and parents to work together to support the children in their unique linguistic journeys, helping them communicate effectively and thrive in both of their languages.

    Happy Islamic family sitting on the floor
    Image by Freepik

    Speak your home language at home

    Many parents report that they worry about speaking their home language at home and instead they have been focusing on just speaking English at home. They now rarely use their home language with their child. They fear that speaking a language other than English with their child will cause further delay and hinder their progress. All parents want the best for their child and often parents fear that their child won’t fit in or will be seen as ‘different’. So we can understand why parents feel that the English language is the only one worth having.

    But the opposite is the case: it is crucial to speak in both languages freely, both at home and outside the home! Both languages will benefit your child, no matter what the delay or difficulty is. Acquiring a ‘mother tongue’ or native language is absolutely vital for children to have a good, solid linguistic grounding on which to build other languages. Bilingual children may mix languages during speaking and parents may equally mix their languages. This does not hinder language development and is a natural part of linguistic development.

    Speak freely and naturally

    What is far more important than the question: ‘which language should I say this in?’ Instead think: ‘let me speak freely and naturally, let me respond naturally, in good intonation and let communication flow freely to the child.’

    Speech therapy can be a crucial resource for bilingual or multilingual children and their families.

    We work on targeted interventions to address speech and language difficulties, helping your child develop essential communication skills. For home practice between therapy sessions, we can recommend tailored treatment plans to help you help your child in daily life. Our input could be focusing on articulation, phonological awareness, attention and listening, vocabulary development and grammar.

    Family support is crucial in speech therapy. We like to work closely with parents to provide guidance and strategies for fostering language development in both languages at home.

    If you have any worries about your child being delayed in a bilingual or multilingual household do get in touch and we will be happy to support you in your journey.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.

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    Joint attention for children with autism

    ByLondon Speech and Feeding
    Kids Speech Therapist London

    Why is joint engagement important for communication development?

    It has been well-documented that the development of joint attention is impaired in children who have social communication difficulties or autism. It is, in fact, this impairment which distinguishes children with ASD from children who have other developmental delays.

    A lack of joint attention in very young children is an early sign of autism as it is a signal that there is a disruption in the motivation to connect socially with others. Since this is a crucial element, I thought I would outline what we mean by Joint Attention as supported by the research undertaken at Hanen.org.

    In typically developing children, the ability to shift attention between a person and an object for the purposes of connecting socially or for requesting develops around the same time. However, for children with ASD, these components emerge one at a time and in a linear fashion. Children with ASD usually start with requesting something and later they may learn to share attention for social sharing. (see pattern below as a general guide).

    As with typical development, there is variation in the order that these skills emerge but the following patterns of development is commonly seen:

    • Reaching, taking adult’s arm/hand or pointing to ask for something — but without looking at the adult
    • Gradually alternating looking between person and object of desire
    • Then learning to follow the point of another — which is responding to joint attention initiated by another
    • Directing attention to share interests — without looking at the adult: pointing to a truck on the road/ helicopter circling above
    • Then directing attention to share interest by alternating gaze shift between person and object — here the child is now initiating joint attention.

    What is important to note is that in order to fulfil the criteria for true joint attention, the purpose of directing the attention of another person must be social in nature. In other words, it must not be exclusively to obtain a desirable object or event/action. True Joint Attention is seen verbally or non-verbally; we want to share a thought with another person and direct them to something we are interested or excited or spooked by.

    For example: we can see an amazing firework display in the distance and we want to quickly direct our friend’s attention to this. In order to do this we might be tugging their sleeve/arm whilst pointing to the display in the distance, and perhaps we might add “wow look over there!” We are doing so simply to share an interest without obtaining anything, we are just being social with each other. So True Joint Attention is not just looking at what we want to have, then look at the person who can get this for us and then point to the item. We can say that this is the precursor to true joint attention, which is purely social in nature.

    Because true joint attention is an essential precursor to typical language development, the absence of joint attention in children with ASD contributes to difficulties with language learning. Beuker, K., Rommelse, N., Donders, R. & Buitelaar, J. (2013).

    The Hanen programme for Parent Child Interaction teaches parents of children with Social Communication Difficulties step by step how to enable their children to learn to pay attention to an object and the parent at the same time.

    We learn how to enable a child to:

    • engage take turns
    • shift eye gaze between toy and adult
    • copy adult’s actions, gestures and then words
    • play with toys in different, new ways
    • interact and for longer periods of time
    • have fun whilst playing

    If you would like to know more about the Hanen programme please get in touch. I look forward to exploring the topic with you and help guide you forward if this is something your child is struggling with.

    Find a speech and language therapist for your child in London. Are you concerned about your child’s speech, feeding or communication skills and don’t know where to turn? Please contact me and we can discuss how I can help you or visit my services page.